Starting chemo January 2009?

Holtbolt....I'm gonna send you a private message about LOST....

Hi Jan Jewells.  Day 5 for me.  Last night I had a slight fever.  That made me nervous.  I hope the temp doesn't portend future problems.

<:AtomicElement>Other than that, I feel okay.  Speaking of the cats....my cats follow me everywhere, plus my dog.  They sense something is up.  I love it when they sit on my belly and purr away.  Truly they have been my comfort, even though I know I have to really wash my hands and such afterwards.  My dog is always by my side, sitting and looking at me. 

<:AtomicElement>Two more days till I have the wbc count, hope it is okay.......The nurse told me the lower back pain is a good sign the neulasta is working.  So....work on neulasta!!!!

<:AtomicElement>Take care all.

<:AtomicElement>Jess

Lisa - I will be waiting to here how day 7 goes this time.  I am suppose to have my 2nd treatment this Thursday and I can tell you I am much more nervous than I was the first time since my WBC went so low so fast the first time.

To all - I am wondering who is working outside the home during this?  I am a teacher and I purposely set up my chemo treatments for Thurs p.m. so I could have the treatment, make it through Friday at work, recover over the weekend and be ready to go back to work on Monday.  Seemed to work great after first treatment unitl I woke up with fever tues night and spent the next four day in hospital.  Am I navie to be thinking I am going to be able to continue to work through the treatment?  I am now worried about going to work.  Did I pick up bug there?  God knows the preschool environment is a gem infested place.  It will be a real mental (and probably physical as I do get lots of exercise at work) challenge to keep a positive attitude if I can not keep my job, but of course I do not want to end up spending 4 days in the hospital after every treament.  Any thoughts you guys have would be appreciated.

 Marymoir - Hope day 7 days not bring any worse SEs than you have seen.  I do remember lisa saying day 7-10 was the worse and I was not prepared for that I thought the day of and after would be the worse.  Learning new things every day!  Praying for you as you count down the days.

 Patti

Patti--I am a teacher and had hoped to be able to work throughout the tx.  I am not sure if I will be able to work.  Day 7 is the key, I guess.  My oncologist said he has seen it go both ways.  People who work throughout-in the classroom- young /old and never have any problems and then a person who washes hands all the time, disinfects, has a cleaner than ever house and then gets zappen with an infection.  I don't quite understand how/why it has to be so difficult to predict.  I guess the tx is just a treatment and not an exact science. 

i'm worried. i'm also paranoid about everything having to do with chemo. aside from the first night of chemo when the zofran wanted to kill me with a killer headache and dizziness (jan 14), since the doc changed my meds to kytril i have felt as good as before chemo. no headaches, no nausea, no nothing. i have a great appetite, i'm going on semi-long walks, have been sleeping 12 hours/night. i have been taking the claritin 2x/day since i got the neulasta shot (jan 15) and have felt no side effects whatsoever. so now of course i think the chemo and neulasta cannot possibly be working since i feel as good as i did before chemo. i'm waiting for the other shoe to fall, big time. i have chemo again on jan 28th (AC, with decadron and kytril in the drip) and can only hope things stay the same. but it just can't be this easy with chemo. no way. i know i shouldn't be bitching that things are great, and i'm not bitching, but it's a combination of worry and shock.

kt57

 Where do you get ativan?

Marlenet-ask your onc for a prescription. They gave it to me as an antinausea med, plus my surgeon gave me some for anxiety.

Patti-My WBC dropped to 542, so my nurse practitioner wouldn't write me a back to work note. I don't know if I'll ever get a note. I'll see on Thurs. I'm so worried about getting sick. Are you on AC? Hope you stay well. My hands are getting so dried out from all the washing!

Ddlatt-I know what you mean. I felt pretty good after first tx, almost better than before surgery (when I was a total basket case). I felt great even though my WBCs were really low. I hope your other shoe won't drop--I felt ok til my next tx. (although I got hemmorhoids the day before-ouch).

Jess and Auriga--I know what you mean--I lost more hair yesterday and look like one of those bald dogs with scruffs of hair-yuck!

Still trying to come to terms with my new life and stay positive for the future. Well all, here's to a high WBC week and good health! My animals didn't seem to know the difference, but I know they feel bad that I've kicked them out of my bedroom...(mean mom).

"Here's to a high WBC week..."  I love it!  LIfe sure does take you places you never thought you'd go.  I learned more in the last four days about WBC than I ever wanted to know.  The nurses at the hospital were very helpful and explained to me some things that my dr. had not even mentioned to me like Nadir day and ANC.  If you are not familiar with these terms goggle them as it is information that we need to know in order to be as proactive as possible in keeping ourselves healthy during the WBC drops that are apparently going to be a part of our life for a while.

KIM - You just made the cut off I think.  My WBC count was 400 when they admitted me to the hospital and my sister, who is a nurse, told me that they usually will put you in hospital for anything under 500 just to be safe.  Of course the ANC number plays a part in that decision too.  Why do you need a note to go back to work?  Does your employer require it?  No one has told me I can not work so I am going to try it tomorrow.  My WBC was back up to 7,800 when I was discharged from hospital yesterday so I should be okay for a few days at least.  My next tx, which is AC by the way, is scheduled for Thurs. 1/22.  I am a lot more nervous this time than I was with the first. one.

rsben70 - I think that working in a hospital may be worse than working in a preschool from a germ prosepective.  What do you think?  Lots of sick people there.  I had to sit in the Emergency Room for a while waiting to be admitted to the hospital and I was scared to death I was going to catch something from one of the people sitting around me coughing and sniffing.

I noticed a lot of us have pets.  After my little trip to hospital I am now afraid to pet my dog.  Does anyone know if we should be concerned about this?

Patti

Hello All,

Ativan is a prescription drug - so it has to come by order of physician or nurse practioner.   I take 0.5 mg,   

re: infection risk.  My onc told me that my greatest risk comes from my own naturally occurring bacteria that invade open wounds or mucous membranes.   he also advised me to stay away from people with an active bacterial infection. My best defense is hand washing.  I also use copius amounts of alcohol hand gel and antibacterial wipes.   I am a nurse and work in a hospital.  Most people think hospitals are "sterile"; in reality they are breeding ground for bacteria.   If you find yourself hospitalized, make sure every single person who comes in your room washes their hands or uses hand gel every time.   Get a bottle of hand gel for your own use in the hospital.    For you teachers ( and God bless everyone of you for tending to our children) - this is great opportuniy to educate your students... They need to understand they need to cough and sneeze in a kleenex - this significantly reduces spray.  They also need to learn to wash their hands for at least 30 seconds - the time it takes to sing their ABCs.   I do not think it is out of the question to ask the parents to supply a box of tissue and a bottle of hand gel for each student ---if they truly cannot afford it,  when someone says, "Let me know if you need anything?" tell them tissue and hand gel.   Maybe your Public Health department can help provide this - they are all about prevention.    Also tell parents to keep their children home when they are sick.

Day 18 for me -- rollercoaster of emotions - I shed about 1/3 of my hair in the shower this morning.  Called my stylist and got it trimmed to 1/2 inch -- just couldn't go the bald is beautiful look.  My hair has always been a challenge - it's fine and straight -- needs lots of "product" to look good,  So today, I wore my wig to work for the first time.   My wig consultant did a great job in matching my color.  My close associates knew it was my wig, but my casual associates ( most don't know of my BC) didn't know and complimented my on my new hairstyle.....   depending on the person, it made me laugh or made me cry.   Now I'm thinking it is just plain funny...   i t was an emotional day for sure, more so than I anticipated... it sure makes it all "real".     My son says he's seriously thinking about buzzing his head for me - see me, crying again - he has wnoderful hair ( from his dad),  hope he doesn't, but how sweet of him. he gave me his Under Armour fleece beanie --- it is awesome - has a breathable soft nylon like fabric on the inside and light fleece on the outside - it is comfortably warm, but not hot.      

And the day ends with news of a dear friend and co-worker's death. Ed was diagnosed with metastatic esophageal cancer several years ago.  He fought a good fight against this beast.....did his chemo on Thursdays and was back to work on Monday - smile on his face and twinkle in his eye. Never had an unkind word for anyone, everyone loved him.  He was a gift. He is who I think of and draw strength from on my crummy days.  I didn't tell him about my BC, wanted to  - to be connected to him even more closely  - but it didn't seem fair to tell him I had cancer that can be beat, when his couldn't. Say a prayer for his safe journey.   

Tough day.. thanks for "listening".

Good morning Jan Jewels - I hope everyone is doing well today.

Kt57- So sorry about your co-worker.  I am sure he would be happy to know that his memory is giving you strenth.

jrgolob - Please don't feel bad about taking a day off from work.  You need and deserve time to heal when and as you need it, physically and mentally. I hope your fever resolves itself without any intervention.  And I understand you feeling about your family but you too want things back to normal and this is not your fault so don't feel guilt on top of everything else. 

ddlat - FWIW your feelings about how can it be working if I feel fine sound totally normal and since I know when I read lists of SE's they always put in that caviate that most people to not get all these SE and that the fact that you don't get a SE does not mean the medicine is not working.

Ladyjane - I have not returned to work yet so I can't give any advice but I wish you strenth in your decision and luck if you decided to return.  I was advised to stay out at least until a week after my first chemo if I possible could and decided to follow that advise.  I was told by my nurse that while many of her patients do return to work FT those that do only work and have no energy for anything els. I have a child to care for so if I do go back before treatment is over it will be part time unless I turn out to be someone who really feels no fatigue from Chemo.

Auriga - Sorry about the bad hair day.  Hopefully as the intial shock wears off the loss of hair will become a new norm that while unlikely to make you happy will not bring you down.

 To all - I was away for the weekend for my dad's 75th which was nice but I stayed at my sister's home and my nephew got sick during the night. I got up to help with the messed sheets and as I was doing it realized I probably should not have been exposing myself to whatever he had a few day pre-chemo but it was too late by then. So far I feel no different then I did but I will be pissed if I get sick and can't start the chemo as scheduled.  It is already a late start. 

I started the Decatron (sp) this morning so the ball is now rolling.  It all still feels unreal so I am not really that nervous.  I do worry that they will tell me that they found something on my scans though since I have not been given any feedback on them yet. That would really really suck.  Not just the bad news but also hearing it just before starting my first treatment.

I got my first chemo angel package over the weekend which was so nice.  A long letter telling my about herself, some chocolet, silly putty for my son, a piece of glass with laugh engraved on it and something I have not unwrapped yet, all mailed in an encvelope covered with smiley faces.

Question for those of you who have already started treatment who are premenapausal, what are you doing for birth control?  Just abstaining because you are totally not in the mood?  I had to have a pg test before my scans just to be sure they could give me the injections.  Is there anything safe to use other than condoms and abstenance?  If I am not hit with bad SE I hope to still have a minimal sex life because that connection is important to my intimacy with my DH.  It is not that we do it all that often in normal times but maintaining some sex life is important too us.

One more question.  We are invited to a inaugeration party tonight, just some sparkeling drinks at someones house.  I would have apple cider not alchohol but will I feel like being around others on the dectron or does it make you so wired that you can't be good company?

Carlajane -  just fyi -- have just finished tx3 TC and I have not had any neulasta shot.  My bloodwork the am of tx 3 showed high WBC (16.6!).  Seems some onc give it routinely as a preventive measure, others wait to review bloodwork results.  I am sooo happy to have not had it as I hear of the se's.  WBC may bottom out the second week after tx, but evidently rights itself in time for my next tx.  Hopefully yours will do same!  My tx are 3 weeks apart also. 

marlenet -- I did try to eat good meals, including protein, but I don't know if it had any effect on my WBC.  And I have felt remarkably good after my txs -- yes, tired and perhaps heartburn and some mild constipation issues, a little metal mouth, but I have been soooo fortunate that I have skipped many of the awful side effects that so many get--no nausea, no bone/joint pain (which most who get Neulasta seem to have).  No fevers, maybe a little sore throat -- but I can ignore most of my se's. And I am working full time except for tx day--but there are nights I go to bed at 8!  I pray you are one of the lucky ones, too!

Bobcat - Sorry you hit the wall yesterday.  Is there a reason you were holding off on taking the compazine?  I hope the day OK and get done the work you have before you.

brenny

 So far ~ YES i sound like you!  I have had no real Hugh se and feel good.  Had only 1 tx so far and today is day 7 and i feel good.  Thank you for the prayers. 

Day 15 here. Very minor SE, mostly mildly flu like. If I wasn't having TC I would think it was just a mild bug. For anyone sore from constipation try Witch Hazel sprayed right from the bottle! REALLY soothing. My hair is coming out, sort of like my dogs shedding in warm weather. My daughter said at least we know the chemo is working! My next treatment is Jan 26. Prayers are with you all!