URGENT help needed - implant removal. Should I get both out?

Hi lburchfi - it is good to hear about positive outcomes. I would love to do either TRAM or DIEP, but right now the long surgery time scares me senseless.

Laura and Susie, I know what you mean. I have had amazing support, and everyone is still very much there for me, but I feel terrible for continually being in some sort of drama or another, esp for my husband and kids and colleagues. It feels never ending.

Thinking of you, Laura - I know it's a hard time. Let us know how you are doing. 

Hi Jean. You are a sweetie, thank you.

Well, I have stopped crying, and that is always a bonus. I was pretty wrecked emotionally for a few days after the surgery, but as I have started to feel physically better, all of that has settled down as well. I think you just reach the edge of your coping threshold.

My PS is back from holiday tomorrow, so will make an appt to see him. Hopefully getting a clear and firm plan will help alleviate some of the anxiety I am experiencing (I think just another sign of absolute physical and mental overload). It is going to be a tough decision timing wise, as if I go back in for implants, I think it would need to be in a few months, but not too many months, as scar tissue etc forms. If it is DIEP, I need to ready my life, business and family for some pretty radical disruption (oh dear, here we go again!). 

The most incredible thing happened the other day. I was feeling particularly down and anxious about the whole thing, and wondering how on earth I was going to find the  'top 3' surgeons in town I am determined to get opinions from, before a final decision, and I had this completely serendipitous experience.

I had gone to a new place to have my nails done, and asked the girl to be esp careful re sterilising equipment, washing her hands etc because I had been v sick, and didn't want to pick up something else/pass on my bugs. 

We got to talking and she said 'Oh, S does the nipples'. I was like, 'who's S?' and she said 'she owns the salon. She's out, but back in a minute'.

Now, this is a very small town and nipple artistes are hardly on every corner. S is, as far as I know, the only person in a very wide geographic range doing them. And of course, she sees the work of practically every surgeon in town!

She was fab. Gave me my list, talked about the benefits of autogenous vs implants, what kind o surgery works for which sort of people. And also gave me a gentle, but neeed 'get over yourself' talk about my fears of having to get dumped into the public health system to access a DIEP surgeon. 

Isn't life funny?! 

Hi Jean - thank  you. I really appreciate your ongoing support. It's funny, isn't it, how life throws this stuff at you? All the best laid plans to control the whole thing and avoid the stuff that scared the crap out of me (I NEVER wanted to be a cancer patient. I NEVER, EVER wanted to have to set foot in the cancer society. I NEVER wanted mastectomy scars and a flat chest...NEVER wanted to spend a night in the public hospital system, NEVER wanted to have to even LOOK at a prosthesis, let along size one up...well guess what? I'm having to deal...)

Agree about the small stuff. I am loving being out of pain, loving sleeping on my side (tho still a bit sore for too long). 

I went back to work for a bit for a few hours, and it was good. Nice to be back. Sorry you are having to job-hunt! That's hard going..

 Laura Lou, where are you up to? I started a thread in the reconstruction forum for 2nd time 'rounders...