Not doing too well these days.

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Bren-2007
Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hello to my friends,

   I haven't posted much recently, but things are pretty tough right now.

   Three weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with advanced Stage IV esophageal cancer.  It has already spread to his lymph glands, lungs and liver, as well as his stomach.  He was diagnosed palliative at the onset and hospice was called in immediately. 

  I'm so sad ... He lives on the west coast and I am in Virginia.  I will be going to see him this Friday for a few days ... and can't get beyond thinking that it will be the last time I see him.  I am heartbroken. 

  In the same 3 week span, one friend has died of b/c mets, another diagnosed with a recurrence and another dear b/c friend diagnosed with thyroid cancer.  

  I'm so afraid and the grieving is crushing me.  I hate cancer.

love,

Bren

Here's a recent pic of my dad.

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Comments

  • shokk
    shokk Member Posts: 1,763
    edited January 2009

    ((((Bren))))).......I hate cancer too.........he's a nice looking guy.........bet he can tell a joke or two.........I am just so sorry..........Shokk

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  • SheriH
    SheriH Member Posts: 785
    edited January 2009

    Bren, I'm so sorry you've been going through such a tough time.  I'm glad you get to see him again.  I hope you have a safe trip.

    I have been so sad about all the friends with mets, recurrences, etc.  It's been so hard.

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited January 2009

    {{{{{BREN}}}}}

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    Aww, Bren! My heart aches for you. I do hope you enjoy your visit with your dad. Thoughts and prayers are with you, friend - and a few warm cyber hugs as well...

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  • sccruiser
    sccruiser Member Posts: 1,119
    edited January 2009

    Bren, You will be in my prayers. I hope the visit is all you need it to be--for you and for him. I must tell you that I think your father has a "twin" on this planet--my cousin is a spitting image of your dad.

    Sending you cyber hugs, and putting both of you in a white light.

    grace 

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  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited January 2009

    So sorry about all your heartaches.  Have a safe trip.

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  • djd
    djd Member Posts: 866
    edited January 2009

    Bren,

    Your dad looks like a real peach!  I am so sorry to hear this terrible news.  Sending prayers that he is comfortable and pain free.

    I know you are reeling from all the tragic news - try to hang in there, the light will shine again someday.

    {{{hugs}}}

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    Bren...I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and your friends as well. I hope that you can find your own way to make the time that you'll have with him the most meaningful and loving.Given his prognosis, I can't imagine a "better" way to leave this earth....comfortable and knowing that you are loved.

    I'm sending you hugs and as much positive energy as possible....

    ~Marin

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2009

    Thank you everyone for you kind words and encouragement.

    I really appreciate it.

    love,

    Bren

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited January 2009

    From my mouth to your ears, Bren, may you find peace amidst the storm you are in. I'm very sorry to hear about your dad, and wish you fortitude and love in this closure visit. 

     So glad you took a moment to let us know,

    Tender 

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2009

    Thanks Tender,

       You're very special to me.

     love,

    B.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    No words of wisdom Bren...just a hug.

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  • BMD
    BMD Member Posts: 1,492
    edited January 2009

    Love you Bren. I hope you have a safe flight. Sending you more hugs from the West Coast.

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  • ddlatt
    ddlatt Member Posts: 448
    edited January 2009

    hugs to you and your big, beautiful heart. 

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  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 6,416
    edited January 2009

    Bren, I know we have never met on here , but I saw this and HAD to let you know how sorry I was... sometimes it is took much.. the crosses are too heavy. Your dad is BEAUTIFUL! I hope your time with him is just awesome!

    Laura

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  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited January 2009

    (((Bren)))

    I hope you find peace and even a little happiness in the coming days.

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2009

    What a terriffic looking guy!  I hope you and he can enjoy your time together and make a few more good memories.  Now is the time to say all the things you may have left unsaid.  Blessings to you and yours. 

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  • saint
    saint Member Posts: 1,877
    edited January 2009

    Hugs Bren--sorry for your pain-lost my own dad while in the middle of my first tx's.

    ditto on iodine's post word for word....

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited January 2009

    Bren, God bless you and your dad.  Hope your time with him will make everlasting memories.  Take care sweet friend.

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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited January 2009

    Bren, I just got back from an 8-day Christmas visit with my Dad. I can't believe how great our relationship is..it always has been. he has always called me 'Blossom'. I cannot conceive of him ever being gone so I can absolutely share your fear and pain. I am sending you much love and strength as you face the tough thing we all have to do. I bet you will have some great laughs; he has that kind of face, and I loved seeing it. Thanks! XX

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  • Raye99
    Raye99 Member Posts: 1,350
    edited January 2009

    Bren -

    He is such a cutie pie. Have a wonderful visit with your father - you will create memories to cherish forever.

    xoxo

    Raye  

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited January 2009

    Bren, I just saw this post and all I can say is my thoughts and prayers will be with you. Make a lot of memories to help you through the dark days to come.

    Sheila

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2009

       Thank you so much for your wonderful words and prayers.  Here are two pics of me and my dad.  In the first one I'm standing on his shoulders.

       My brother is having someone create a DVD of hundreds of pictures, with all his favorite music (Waylon and Willie, etc.), and will have it ready for my dad soon.  My sis, bro and I got together just after Christmas and collected all our old and recent pictures for the project.  I hope it will comfort him as much as it will comfort us.

    Love you all,

    Bren

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  • suzfive
    suzfive Member Posts: 456
    edited January 2009

    Bren - I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope you have a good visit with your Dad and safe travels.

    Love and hugs,

    Suz

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  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited January 2009

    Sending you a gentle hug, Bren. I hope your visit with your Dad is healing and wonderful.

    Lexi

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  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited January 2009

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. He looks like a very kind, gentle man. I lost both my parents to cancer, so I know how much the whole thing sucks. Hugs to you.

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  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited January 2009

    Bren,

    Sending HUGS your way!!  I'll keep you and your Dad in my thoughts and prayers.

     Cancer SUCKS!!

    Harley

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    (((((((Bren))))))) Hugs and Prayers from another Sister who lost her dad to cancer. This SUCKS. Please enjoy your time with him.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2009

    Laura,

       Everytime I see your log on ID, I think of my dad.  His name is "Burn."

    Love,

    B.

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  • flyrzfan
    flyrzfan Member Posts: 557
    edited January 2009

    Bren, I'm so sorry you've got so much to deal with. Thanks for posting the picture of your dad-he looks like the kind of guy who gives big, long hugs...I never knew my father but if I could paint a picture - that's what he'd look like. Warm, funny, comfortable. I hope you have a safe trip and get lots of love packed into your stay.

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