What can I get my friend?
Am I at the right site to get suggestions on what to take to my friend when I visit her in a few weeks ? She had a double mastectomy just before Christmas and starts chemo this week. I will be with her for a week. Friends have already done meals, flowers .....the usual. What else can you suggest would be helpful and fun? Or can you suggest another site I should use to get suggestions.
Comments
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Funny movies! During chemo there are many times she won't want to go or do anything. Having some funny movies to watch at your fingertips is great.
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You might want to check the threads about chemo. I haven't had it, but have seen a friend through numerous sessions. Tea, warm clothes, gloves were helpful to her. That might not be appropriate in your friend's case, but it was for her.
Bottom line, be there for her. Encourage her to send you out for errands, etc. I also brought along a lot of things I could read to her during chemo. Short is good. Newspaper (if she's up for that) or short stories. I had a great book by Stanley Coren about famous people's relationships w/their dogs that contained chapters about 2-3 pages in length. Because she was a dog fancier that was the ticket.
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my favorite gift was a gift that quite a few girlfriends went in on together. its a sterling silver bracelet with 3 charms: a heart that is engraved "vive la lisa", an eiffel tower and a pink stone. the friend who coordinated it all is going with me to paris after this is over!
i love "vive la lisa" as it means "long live lisa" and i needed to hear that, see it, etc. It is now my "good luck" bracelet and i wear it to every appt, chemo, etc.
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Denver ~
One of the nicest gifts I have gotten is a pink (NOT pepto!) hat box from my daughter who ordered it from Comfort and Blessings.com. It's a gorgeous hatbox and it comes with a really cute hat, the perfect socks, a warm shoulder "cozy" and a beautiful pewter angel which I hung on my Christmas tree this year. Part of the proceeds go to breast cancer research and the items as well as the hat box were really high quality. Another great gift was a Vera Bradley quilted tote bag with multiple interior pockets that I used as my "chemo bag". It held my snacks, lotion, water, books and all of the goodies that came in my hat box!
Nico
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Soft pretty camis to wear. Something cozy to wrap up in. A laptop if you have one to pass some time and stay in tune with friends.
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~~~~~~~ BUMP ~~~~~~
Nico
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A subscription to Netflix!
If she's an ipod fan, a gift card for some tunes at the Apple store.
An offer to do whatever will be most helpful to her after you've gone--cook & freeze reheatable meals, shop to stock her pantry, etc.
Leave her "caught up" on laundry, dishes, & vacuuming.
PS: You're a sweet friend to think ahead & ask...
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Your already taking her the MOST IMPORTANT thing possible...and that's yourself.
The one thing many of us have learned after being dx with breast cancer is "It cleans house". (Meaning you find out who your friends and family really are.) People up and disappear and they all have a million and one excuses for why they didn't call or come by. I won't even go there...it's sad.
You are being a awesome friend just by going there to be with her.
Anything you add to it will be great...but seriously...your presents is by far the most important. But you did get some great idea's here...funny movies and any other distractions are always recommended. And being a GOOD listener. You don't have to have answers for her...but if she wants to talk and express her feelings which can be fear of what the future holds, if her cancer comes back, and I could name endless things but you get the idea. That constant cancer cloud that hangs over her head...just listen. Some like to talk about it and others don't so just take it as it comes. Let her lead and you will be able to tell if she wants to talk about it or not? She is so blessed and lucky to have such a good friend. Bless you.
Chelee
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The gals above have given you great suggestions. My youngest DD was in 2nd grade when I was Dx. Her bf mother made me a fleece blanket that was nice to cuddle in. Another friend burned a CD with some of my favorite music - the only problem was, I did not like to have head phones in my ears during chemo, but knowing someone cared was what was important. Just be there for your friend - go to chemo and sit with her (that is if she has a Tx when you are there). My DH was always with me - but I wasn't social, just knowing he was there was all the mattered. Take her out to lunch, a movie, shopping (or whatever will me her feel good) if she feels up to it. I guess, let your friend guide you in how much she wants/can do as far as getting out. Arrange for house cleaning, more meals (see if you can help get meals set up for several days after each chemo Tx - that is a wonderful help - I see you said meals have been provided but I wasn't sure how long), cards, emails (I still have everyone that people sent to me). If she likes to write - a pretty journal and fun pens. If she has kids, see what they like to do - play dates - things to just be a kid . But all in all, you just being there for your friend shows how much you care, and how loved she is.
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