first chemo done

Deb, Pretty funny about the dogs!  I love the little/big creatures.  Many times they can relate better than people.  I might try your nyquil thing this evening.  Zofran helps me with nausea but does nothing for sleeping.  I am on a time release ambien kind of pill, because ambien wasn't working either.  I will check in with you tomorrow.  Have a good day.  Kristi

Well.. first of all..hello to everyone and thanks for the well wishes and encouragement!

I went to get my wig and decided since my hair was coming out so fast it was time to do the "shave" thing. This big ole teddy bear of a man was so sensitive with me it almost made us both cry! He wanted to turn me away from the mirror to take it down..and I said "nope" I wanna see it come off..he said are u sure and I said yes.. let's do it pops...and we both laughed. Ray(my hubby) stood there and watched. I told Jerry(the wig man) that I had my hair short for many years..sometimes only a few inches long, so it was not gonna shock me too badly. So..it's done..tried on the wig..actually looks good on me if I can get used to having that much hair in my face again. It's gonna be ok..this "bald and wigged" look.. I will get through it!! Even took pics already of my baldness(actually I still have some stubble on my head)...when I get pics of me in my wig..I am posting them both on here and myspace...this gal is gonna show off her new do's 

It is what it is.. I can't change it..all I can do is have fun with it and "roll with the flow" !!

Glad you liked my blog Kris and thank you for your comforting words.

It's a lot about attitude..how one handles their cancer journey..and despite how you all think you look and feel...you are all wonderful women with so much strength and power...and you will find that you have more of both when you least expect it.

My prayers and positive thoughts are with you all through your journeys...always! 

I just don't know how you all do it! When I talk to someone I haven't talked to since before my "problem" and they start telling me they are keeping me in their prayers and thoughts and hugging and what not, I start to cry and can't stop for several hours. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself and if that is what I am doing, I hate it! I tell myself I don't want to be the guest of honor at a pitty party. For this reason, I wear my wig where ever I go...even to answer the door when UPS comes.  I only have one chemo treatment left (this Tues.) so the hair better just start growing ASAP!

I'm happy for all of you that have finished and wish you all the best! And Happy New Year! 

Thank you Belinda...You sound the same as me...IDC, 2cm, stage II...all the same. I haven't heard anything about doing Taxol, but have my appointment setup with the radiologist for the middle of next month. Right now I am struggling with hives. Must have been something I ate that all of a sudden doesn't agree with me. So I am doing as my husband prescribed and lying down with a good book, resting, and he is running to the store for benedryl (sp). 

Hello, Christmas done, chemo done for December, and New Years to look forward to.  Wow I sure wish it would be a New Years where know one had to do chemo.  I have 3 more sessions (TAC) I don't know what is worse because I am taking all three at the same time.

Sew Button, I would ask your oncologist about taxol, because lots of people seems to be on it also.  These oncologists are people to and I think some of them make mistakes.  Plus you need to do it just to be proactive.  I am so happy that you have only one left. I wish we were all there with you.

Ellen, I'm with you having B.C. is really terrible.  It just over whelms you.  I sometimes wonder if I will be the same person after this is all done.  There is a great group of women here, we have all been through so much, it is one place where women can really relate to what you are going through.  We will always be there.

Belinda - I admire your strength. And you are half way through with AC already...wow.  It will be interesting to find out how your body deals with the T. I might ask my oncologist to modify my regime because I am having difficulty dealing with the TAC together.

Jill, I hope our California weather is good for you.  I think you are arriving today.  It has been a cold 39 at night and 64 in the day.  We are freezing, I am gong to have to go out and cover my remaining tomato bushes so they won't freeze.  I know, it is nothing like most of the US, I have a sister in Wisconsin. I can relate, kind of.

Deb, I was able to sleep for 5 hours last night so I am so much better today.  It makes me a whole different person.  I also used my wig for the first time today.  I think it is good mentally to look better.

Have a great evening ladies.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.  Kristi 

Hi everyone,

I don't think I said welcome to you Ellen, and if I missed anyone else, please forgive me. I love meeting you all here.

I can relate to the wheelchair in the airport. Had to do that when I broke my ankle. Very humbling, and I hated, absolutely hated having to be dependent on someone else. Guess thats why I don't like it now any better.

Had my hubby buzz my hair. I just couldn't take the shedding anymore. it did almost get to be funny to see how much would come out when I ran my fingers thru it, but that fun wore off rather quickly. So, now I and bald and wigged I did ask for Xanax (thanks for the suggestion Jill). I think it made the buzzing go much easier.

I also wore my wig out for the first time today. I had a serious inferiority complex- I just knew everyone was staring at me. Could have been since I was ready to ride in the cart I was so tired, but I told myself I was just too old. My hubby said go get a riding cart- ha.ha...never...unless I can accidently run into all those that have run over me before.  Anyone get headaches from wearing a wig? I can see why some don't wear them. Guess it's something else to get used to.  

Had second chemo Friday, then had to go to the Ambulatory Surgery center for the Neulasta, and of course they had no order for it. So, after a 2 hour wait, the shot was done. They also never called insurance, and I about had a heart attack. That thing cost soooooo much, but then I knew I needed it, so- called the nurse on call for the insurance, and hoped it didn't need a pre-authorization. She was kind enough to leave a note that I had called. (I called today and am safe on this- whew...)

About crying- I was crying during the Sound of Music last night. Seems yesterday and today I have been much more emotional. Guess it's the drugs, the surgery, the everything. Now have fluid builing up again under my arm, and should have called the surgeon for an appt, but just flat out didn't feel like it. Guess I'll call tomorrow.

Keep the faith ladies, and we shall overcome!!!

Debbie

Dear Cristi and Jill thanks to both of you for the informative response. I am 53 with a similar diagnosis. I'm hopeful that the weekly treatments will be less severe than every 3 weeks. I too have to work full time and I am hearing many women say the treatments get progressively worse probably due to the build up. I have to consider my Diabetes as well. My biggest fear is that I will be sick to my stomach and I really can't got through that for any extended period of time. I think I will just decide not to be sick you know mind over matter kind of thing. I start treatment this Friday 1/2/08 so I will pray for the strengh and courage to proceed. All of you have been such a source of comfort for me and I don't feel so alone. Thank God for the internet. 

t 

Debbie, Congratulations on shaving your head.  I know that it is very very hard, remember I have not done it yet. I am very proud of you.  Crying is my other full time job, after fighting cancer. So I am right there with you.  I don't think it is bad, it is something that just happens.

Belinda - the clear face is at least something Good that has happened.  I have only worn hats thus far outside but I keep thinking people are looking at me because of my big ears.  We have decided that I look like a marshin, with my bald head. I am just waiting for the little antenna to come up.

Judy - I want you to know, at least from my perspective, that feeling sick to your stomach should not be an issue.  They have so many really good drugs that work.  They work really well and really really fast.  You should be able to handle it....go for it girl!!!!!

Jill, I am so happy to hear from you! Sorry about our weather but it should be better tomorrow. Glad you got a ride on the fancy airport golf cart, hey why not flash the cancer card once in a while.  I hope you are going to see lots of beautiful California.  What a funny conversations regarding food with the "airport" lady.  I had top ramen the other night, just trying to find something that would fill the whole in my belly and that had lots of preservatives.  HA HA.   My husband, daughter and I walked on the beach in Coronado today, we went to dog beach and wow that was a treat just to watch the dogs. I came home and was just exhausted.  We were only gone for about 2 hours.  I wrote my oncologist a long letter and asked him to re-look at my file.  I am 11 days out from chemo and am still wasted.  I am good for only a few hours at a time.  I wrote down everything that was happening to my body.  It gave me some control to let him know what I was going through and asking him if it was right or not.  I will not bore you with everything, I think I have about 13 things that are bothering me.  I am not mad or depressed about this, I am being very factual about how I am reacting to chemo. I am trying to find out from him if I am being to much of a wimp or if he thinks I am doing OK.  I will let you know what he says.  I am suppose to do 3 more TAC, next on January 12th.

HAVE  great day tomorrow everyone. I pray and hope that all of you are doing better than I am.  I will be thinking about all of you.  Smile! 

Kristi

Rant time.....omg......last A/C and it has to try to kill me..........stomach has been horrible, not nausea, but heartburn and gas so bad.........keep thinking everyday it has to be better tomorrow only it never happens...........up to 2 nexium per day, 2 gasx pills...3-4 otc pepcids....nothing works....

Sleeping....been feeling so weak during the daytime that I have no choice but to lay down and nap.....which screws up sleep at nite, 4-5 hours is the most I can get......got so mad last nite, took a fenegan <SP?> still woke up like 20 times this morning.......

My eyes are so dry despite Visine, and prescription eye drops that even waking up last nite and trying to open my eyes was painful, had to force them open with my fingers due to the ucky stuff sticking them together...........ouch!  Heels are horrible, hard time walking they hurt so bad....ring around the heels is back with a vengeance.........

Good side, and still don't believe it.....Chemo was last Weds....Onc's office has called everyday except Xmas day to check on me........unbelievable..........nurse told me on phone that with my heels doing this, they will have to watch me big time for neuropathy when the taxol starts....Such a wonderful thing to look forward to........

So thats been my life the past 6 days.....Jeez, do they have to about kill us to cure us?

Luv, Hugs and prayers

Deb

Happy New Years Eve:

I hope every one has a great day, or at least as good as you can.  We are going to dinner early so we can be in bed earlier than midnight.  We will celebrate with all those New yorkers on TV.  Deb, really gals that your doctors office is finally taking good care of you, I am so happy.

Jill if you come to San Diego let me know.  I will try to give you my info on a private message yet I really don't know how to do them, I am so computer illiterate.  The weather is great down here.  Talk soon  Kristi 

Hello all !

Happy New Year's Eve to everyone ! 

I am still in the midst of our California adventure.   But, like Kristi, I have early dinner arrangements tonight.   I told the kids we can celebrate New Year's at 9, 10, 11, AND 12.   We will just start with the New Yorkers and work our way across the country until it arrives here Pacific time.      What is sad, though, is that is likely the kids will out last me. 

I am hanging in here pretty well.  I took the day off from the attractions because I really over did it yesterday and am paying for it now.    Just plain worn out and my knees are killing me.  I can also tell my white cell count is dropping.    Can tell by the puffiness under my arms and the ridges inside my mouth.   A dead give away every time with me.    So.. taking it easy today.  The only even remotely strenuous thing I am doing is laundry.    My husband is out with the kids, so I am grateful for the quiet. 

During the parks we went to, my husband pushed me around in a wheel chair.  Again, felt like an idiot, but doing that is the only way I can last for any length of time given I am one week removed from my last  chemo round.   When my husband gets going in pushing me around he starts imitating Dustin Hoffman from "Rain Man" and keeps repeating "I am a very good driver".   I just roll my eyes at him and hope we don't clip anyone with the darn wheel chair. 

Kristi - We are planning to go to San Diego on Friday.  I did get your Private Message (Good for you - see... not so computer illiterate after all).    Take a look.

To everyone else - have a wonderful and safe New Year's Eve !!!

Jill

Hey Deb and the rest of the wonderful ladies on here!

I am feeling better, man guess since it was the last A/C it figured it better get me while it could....I still feel really weak and chemo was LAST Wednesday........having a hard time getting back up and moving again this time.....Both eyes are infected, wonderful huh? So much fun to wake up and have to pry your eyes apart.....but the onc called me in some cephalexin eye drops, have taken them for 2 days, slowly but surely they're working........BUT completing A/C is a feat in itself so I am happy....I feel like Rocky Balboa when he made it to the top o fthe steps! (Cue the song "Eye of the Tiger" here)

I did talk to the nurse about the taxol, the next treatments.....I don't have to take the decadron before or after, said they will just give it to me in the drip......she did call me in another script for Zofran just incase I do need it......I'm just really wondering the neccesity of it...the taxol....if it shrunk 90% in 3 treatments of A/C, and I had another treatment, why do 12 weeks of taxol....Just kinda think that the surgeon could get it all out now with a lumpectomy....and yes Jill, lol, I know it's in my lymph glands, but if it's shrunk that much in the breast, wouldn't it have shrunk or something there also? And if there is cancer there, why bother, they will just take them out anyhoos......... Just really don't understand the necessity of it...other then to torture me more! LOL

I hope everyone had a Happy New Years, we didn't watch the ball drop, He was in here on the radio and I was on the computer....we did watch a little of Dick Clarks aftershow...but the only person I recognized (musicians singers, etc) was Fergie.....LOL, don't know any of the younger ones.......but it was nice!

Well off to see if I can find me a USB drive for my puter.....want to save my pictures to it before this harddrive crashes or something..............

Luv, Hugs and prayers

Deb

Christmas has been here and gone, we have started a New Year. I'm anxious to get things back to normal. But to be honest I will miss these days off from work in the middle of the week. But at the same time this might be to blame for my laziness.

It can't be the Chemo as I have my fourth and final Chemo treatment on Wednesday Jan 7th.

I am excited about it but at the same time not looking forward.....I feel more tired, but like I said I think part of that is because of the broken routines and I also wonder if my mind knows this is coming to an end and I just want to be done.

Since my last treatment....I did not have a difficult time with side effects....I have been real lucky,

But I did have something new happen....I think I had some kind of eye infection.

I have a slight tree allergy and each years my allergy acts up a little with a Christmas tree in the house.....this year my left eye was red and had gunk on it, But I do not think this was "pink eye" if it was it is not like I had experienced before.....anyways I called Kaiser (advice line) and they decided to treat it as pink eye and gave me drops.....worked right away....I'm thinking with Chemo my allergies just might be ultra sensitive right now.....And now I have a little dry hacking cough, but I have been taking Clairatin (Sp?) for it.....this seems to be helping, except it is a 24 hour med. And I will start with this cough a few hours before my next dose.?

Then the worse thing to happen.......before I started to have Chemo, my denisit said on my last chek up that a tooth she had worked on a long time ago and I had other work on this tooth....the x-ray did not look good. We decide to wait until after Chemo to tackle this tooth. Welp! the other night I felt a little swelling up by my gum and lip line. I met my denisit, she took x-rays....yep! an infection.....so I had to call the oncolgy nurse to see if I could take amoxicillian.

So not only do I have my last Chemo treatment coming up, but I also have a lot of things to discuss with my oncologist....like furture appointment with her....will I have follow up with her and how often?  I have questions about if I will be doing another mammogram? I have not had anything since just before surgery, so this might sound silly.....do we know if all this has worked? Radiation treatments...when do I start and who makes the appointment?  And now questions about my blood work....My WBC were higher and Liver was higher, oncologist said this was due to Chemo and Decadron....so will I be checked on this after my last Chemo? Arrrrgh! so many questions?  Then we need to discuss how long I need to wait for dental work, as my denisit said the medicine will not get rid of the infection, it will just keep it under  control.

Dose anybody here know what expect when Chemo is over?

Denise/Onehalf

Denise -

Hi !  Great to hear from you.   Sorry, but our posts crossed.

All I can tell you is what my next steps are... but, I have found that you have to take control to make sure you don't fall through the cracks.  Write down all your questions before you go into your next appointment.

I had my last chemo treatment on Dec. 22.    I go in for Herceptin solo on January 14 - which I get every three weeks for the next year because I am Her2 positive.  I also see the radiation oncologist that day.   She will set me up with my radiation course which will be 5 days per week for 6 weeks.   I am getting radiation because I went the lumpectomy route.  My medical oncologist also indicated to me that she will repeat all those blasted scans I had to do pre-chemo at some point (CT scans, PET scan, MUGA test, bone scan).    Finally,  my breast surgeon had me schedule my next mammogram (oh joy) six months after my surgery - at her office.    So.. Mammogram in March.    

I hope that helps.  In the meantime, have you talked to your doc about all these infections ?   Infections while on chemo are not exactly fun stuff and not to be messed with.  

Please take care, and let us know how you are doing.

Jill

 Hello again, Denise !

Not surprised you had a lot of questions.  This is a lot to take in - and everyone is soooo different. 

In regard to your questions - Yes, Herceptin is given by IV (in my port) at the same center I get the chemo in.   I get Tylenol and Benadryl as a pre-med and then the herceptin takes 60-90 minutes to give -quite an upgrade from the 5 hour Taxol regimen I was on !  The only bummer is that I get this every three weeks for the next year.   But, given the stats on Herceptin, it is worth it.  

As far as the clinical trial goes - nope.. not offered.  The primary reason is my age.  I am 43, which is considered too young (great for my ego) for these trials.  The other reason was that my "boobs are not big enough".  Hmmm... they just had to add insult to injury.   Not sure why they could not have just used the age excuse and not tell me the other one.  

The scans - my doc is a huge believer in tests.  She throws the book at me in regard to these.  Other onc's feel differently.  I have to admit that I wonder if so much is warranted, but I guess better safe than sorry.  That said, the MUGA test is pretty standard on herceptin, given heart risks with this drug.  So, that one is real important. 

Finally, I am still here in Southern California.  We leave tomorrow to go back to Cincinnati.  You are right.. it is darn COLD.   Despite that, we had a good time on vacation.  I even got to meet Kristi, who I only knew from this board.   Got to give her credit for taking this risk... For all she knew, I could have been an axe murderer or something like that.  But, let's hear it for one positive thing to come out of this experience.   I really enjoyed my time with her today and getting to meet her family.    After I left her house today I went to Sea World, where I wore my winter jacket around.   So.... more than chemo causing the cold !

I am glad you are getting those infections checked out.   Like I said... better safe than sorry.  The worst they can do is say you are "OK".  But, wouldn't you rather have that peace of mind ?   A small infection can turn into a big thing if your immune system is compromised.   Worth it to get it checked.

As far as I know, for triple negs, the "regimen" is chemo and radiation.  BUT... you will need to get your mammograms scheduled pretty regularly.    This is really important as you don't (unfortunately) have the benefit of hormone blockers and/or  herceptin.   So.. vigilence will be key.  I would be surprised if your doc did not tell you that.   Let us know what he/she says !  Maybe we could all learn something.

In the meantime, hang in there.  I don't mind communicating on this at all.  It is nice to get some calibration.

Jill