Starting chemo January 2009?

Oh my gosh. The nerve of some people. I am starting chemo on Monday, Jan5th. Suffice it to say, I am a basket case about the whole thing. My SIL wants to come visit for her annual vacation in early February.

My DH and I tried to politely tell her it was not a good time, or at least to come a week before my next scheduled round. I have heard that is the time you feel the best. She stated she will come when it suits her schedule, not my chemo schedule.  She is a RN and feels like she would be a help to us.

No matter how sick I am feeling, I am the type of person who is going to feel like I have to entertain and be a good hostess while she is here. Should we tell her firmly that we don't want her to come visit? Or hope for the best and maybe she really will be a help? 

I hate to be a witch and tell her not to come, especially if I don't get that terribly sick. But, I also know I don't want this added stress right now. This is hard enough, why do people have to make it harder on us?  

Rsben70- You are at the right spot to be.  There are many brave ladies on this thread and they are very helpful.  It is good to get lots of input on ways to cope with the ups and downs of chemo.

auriga--Yeah, I know what you mean, I have a friend who means well, but she is sometimes in the way.  My sisters have offerred to hlep, but I know it would be me feeling like I have to visit and entertain. 

Snowbird--my fave red wine last night was pinot evil (pinot noir) product of France.  I truly like Beringer merlot-2006.  I loved going to the Napa Valley in California when i lived there.

So , I am still in limbo about when I start chemo tx.   I really don't want to put it off any longer....Sigh

Jilly, welcome!  Glad to hear your surgery went well and good luck on Monday... the sooner you start, the sooner it's over right?  And, yeah, let's kick some ass in '09!

Auriga.. omg... the nerve is right!  I'm like you... I would feel extra stress having to entertain or just "appear ok even if I'm not".  I think I would tell that SIL the truth and if she doesn't get it... so what.... right now it's about YOU.

Snow:  I will check out the John Renau wigs... insurance will only pay for one so I don't want to choose a fake one that looks stupid that I end up not wearing... thanks.

BTW, another conversation with my ONC and I said "hey, I read somewhere that AC had less side effects than TC" and he goes "Ok, yeah, we can do TC, that'd be fine too".... (he originally said AC)... but now I changed his mind and am doing TC but wondering why that was so easy to do... change his mind... Gosh!  I am paranoid about everything.... what the heck is the real difference between these two regimens?  Anybody know?   

Happy New Year All,

By this time next year we will all be in a totally different place.  We will all get through this and come out with a whole new outlook on life....a very long life.

mimi07 - you still out there.  Good luck with your first chemo tomorrow.  My first round starts at 0830 tomorrow, too.  I am doing everything I can to fight the anxiety...staying busy.  Plan to go into work and do a few odds and ends, undecorate the house, make a nice dinner for the fam.  Then try like heck to sleep some - that has been the difficult thing since this all started. 

Jess- I assume it's the oncotype Dx test?  A good reason to delay as some don't need chemo.  The Genomic Health webste has a video that's interesting.  Mine took 11 days from the time they got my cells.  A long 11 days....

Lester63 - Welcome.  I start TC tomorrow -6 cycles, then radiation.  Did you find the discussion thread on taxotere and cytoxan?  It's informative and very helpful.  Lot's of tips and suggestions.

holbolt - good choice to head to Vegas.   We did Mexico...nothing like time away from reality. 

Web, I bet you look great in any length hair.   I so feel bad for all of you with gorgeous hair.  I am not in that catagory..in fact it took some work by my stylist to get this great looking wig to look more like me.  We had a good laugh over that.   

Well, wish me luck tomorow.  I will be so glad to get the first one over so I know what to expect.   

Stay hopeful and fight the good fight all..

Kathy

AZ Stacey - good luck tomorrow -- you will most likely not be nauseous at all - and be sure and ask your onc for a prescription just in case you do (and take it as soon as you even think you might be getting nauseous!).  We have a wide range of side effects here - some of us are blessed with next to none and some of us are "blessed" with every single one!  There's just no way of predicting -- but this thread has great tips on how to deal with those that you may get! 

Let us know how you do - we are all praying for you. I think we all agree that the first tx was the worst -- just not knowing what to expect. 

Bren

Happy New Year. We'll be really able to celebrate next year!

Had my neulasta shot yesterday. I'm achy today, but I think it's because I fell asleep on the sofa waiting to watch the ball drop. Missed it.

My anti-nausea meds seem to be working ok. No vomiting so far (day 3). A bit queasy sometimes, but I'm eating.

Good luck to all starting chemo tomorrow. The anticipation is hard, but I honestly couldn't feel anything going in. Even when the nurse pushed in the A (of the AC).

Got a Gabor wig yesterday. I looked like a 60s rock groupie with the Rachel. My friend talked me into the Gabor--short with blond highlights (i'm plain old brown naturally with some grey highlights, layered) ,and I might try to find something closer to my own hair. The Gabor was free at the ACS. Have an appt. to be fitted for my fake boob on Sat. Sometimes I still can't believe it's me going through this.

Brenda-hope you feel better soon. Glad you got some sushi in before chemo!

Go Pac Women--It's a great visual!

kim

Hello. My name is Shavon I was Diag. on 11/18/08 with Stage 3b inflammatory breast cancer her pos. I have 3 children, ages 10 months, 3 years and 5 years. I live right outside Fort Lauderdale. I started my treatment TCH on 12/16/08, my next treatment is 1/6/08. It has been rough with the children and all but doable. I start losing clumps of hair today, so I little down. I had my port placed yesterday (New Years Eve) boy what I year. A beautiful baby boy and Breast Cancer! Thanks for posting and i would like to keep in touch.

jillyg,

I was diagnose on Nov 13th and underwent mastcetomy on the 9th of Dec, I start the same chemo treatment you have on the 7th.

Carmen

Hi...another january 09 chemo here. Very nervous. I'm from Baltimore MD area, 46, three young children 5, 8 and 10. DX...ILC, 6.7 cm, stage III, so far 2 out of 3 nodes positive, waiting for the results from recent axillary disection 2 days ago. Oncologist is recommending DD, A/C for 4 rounds than T for 4 rounds followed by radiation 5x week for 5 weeks. Had bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction expanders.  Yvonne

mimi07 - If you go to the neulasta thread under the chemotherapy discussion group, there is a reference to Claritin.   There is also some info in the very long "taxotere/cytoxan" thread.  One said their oncology nurse practitioner recommended claritin the day before, the day of and the day after injection.   My onc hasn't said anything to me about neulasta..think he's going to see how my counts do.

Az Stacey2008 -- looks like you, me and mimi07 are the Jan2 Pac Women!   We can do this! Tomorrow is the beginning of many, many more tomorrows!

holtbolt - my onc recommended TC - said it showed superior results to AC in certain early breast cancers.  see link below.

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/new_research/20071213b.jsp

Thanks everyone for staying connected.  Your words bring strength.

Kathy

Hello Ladies -

 So I'm not starting chemo this month but actually started it 10/30/08 but haven't really been on these threads so I thought I'd jump into this Jan Jewels one.  I'm 31 (turning 32 this month) and did a lumpectomy 9/30/08 but didn't get clear margins so I'll be doing a masectomy with reconstruction when I complete chemo.  I have a lot in common with LisaLisa since I am also scheduled to do 6 rounds of TC and am being treated at UCLA as well. 

If any of you have questions I'm happy to give any advice I may have even though I'm still trying to figure it all out myself with plenty of questions of my own.  Chemo sucks but it's doable and once you get through the first round knowing what to expect makes the other rounds better.   Like some of you I am also a teacher and have been trying to work as much as I can (taking 4 days off each round) - I think it's also a nice distraction.  I'm trying to walk to help fight the fatigue (which helps alot) but unfortunately have managed to gain 6 pounds so far which I find extremely frustrating.  I've been lucky dealing with my baldness in that as much as it sucks I'm okay going bald occassionally in public (though I wear headscarves most of the time) - it might have been my fellow bald coworkers that made it easier to feel "normal" bald, just try to remember baldness is totally gorgeous and there's nothing hotter than a woman who can kick chemo and cancer's ass. 

I'm doing round 4 tomorrow and wish all of you the best of luck with minimal SEs.  The time will fly by - really.   

Auriga - I can understand how you feel and you totally have the right to say No.  This is not a good time for me and I am sorry but right now it is all about me.  But before you do there are a few things you may want to ask yourself to be sure it is the right answer.  Does your husband need the support of his sister at the moment?  If so is this a gift you can or want toggive him?  Is she coming because she wants a vacation or is she really willing and able to help?  Maybe your precancer self had to rise the being the hostess but maybe your post cancer self can give others the gift of allowing them to help and support her.  These are just questions to think about, I really don't know the answers.  It maybe that your SIL is a pain the butt who just gets on your nerves and you need to keep her away right now.  It maybe that you need to hold on to that part of your precancer self and incorporate her into your post cancer self and those are totally valid and appropriate responses.  

Mimi - Thanks for the input on the port. I have to talk to my PS about it when I see her Wednsday.  Good luck with your first day.  I will be picturing a woman walking in with a confident step and a calm smile on her face knowing that she can and will handle this trial with grace and charm. 

Hotbolt - I think, from what some others have told me, that many doctors and practices are most comfortable continuing with the treatment they have been using with reasonable success with other patients.  They are a bit nervous about moving on to a newly approved treatment but willing to give it a try if their patient has a preference since it is approved as a medically reasaonable option.  My first doctor was willing to do either but had a preference for AC and someone told me that AC was the default treatment for BC at Dana Farber.  

 Kt57 -Amen on this time next year. 

Kim - Glad you are only experiencing light side effects so far. It gives me hope. 

 Brenda - My mother was telling me how she used to have a three wigs and that they have a tape of me somewhere saying that I wanted to play with her wigs but mommy would not let me.  I guess I am going to finally get to play.  I do want to get a good looking wig. But I am also hoping that I can find the interstrenth too pull of the bald look when it is not to cold to do so.  

Ramosce - If your deleted posts are a sign that you think you need to join us but are not quite ready I hope you find the strenth soon.  It is wonderful to have a place where everyone has a reasonable idea of what you are dealing with and where you can vent and moan all you need to as well as be a source of strenth for others.

 Shavon - Welcome to our little group of BC warriors and/or initiates.  I can't imagine how hard this is with three kids all under 6. I find it hard with my 5 year old and I have had a ton of help from my parents, husband and ILs.  But I know you can do it.  A woman in my neighborhood recently finished her chemo and she made it through with 4 kids, the youngest about the age of yours.  And she continued to practice as a neonate doctor while doing chemo.  She had a real hard time with chemo too.  We woman have unknown wells of strenth within us when we need to call on it. 

Hey all.  It has been a tiresome day today totally unrelated to BC.  We went to a small party at a friend's house last night.  Took our night owl 5 yrd old with us and he stayed awake the whole time with their 4 yr old.  We left at 1am.  DS had some kind of night terror in the wee hours.  Crying and yelling but not awake.  Then when we woke up the heat was not working in one half of the house.  Given that it was below freezing this was not good.  DH spent the whole day working on figuring out where the problem was (pump or pipe, the furnace was fine).  He made some progress.  It looks like a section of pipe was frozen.  The cold water is now running and no sign so far of a leak. 

We are going to a belated  New Years Day party on Saturday.  Nobody at the party knows what is going on with us.  I am rehearsing how to tell them about our year. Something along the lines of - Well the good news was be bought a new house. The bad news is its a 150 years old and keeps breaking on us.  The other bad news is that I found out a few months agot that I had breast cancer but the good news is that with treatment I have a 90% (have to recheck the numbers) chance of being breast cancer free 10 years from now and that the first phase of treatment went unbelievable well.  I am hoping that this will let people know that yes we are dealing with a big issue and could use some support from friends but that no, it is not the end of the world and there is no need to act like I am dying or anything like that.  I love the people who react to the news with a hard "Shit!" and appreciate but need to distance myself from the people who reach with "oh no, I am soooo sorry.  In a sad voice and with big puppy dog eyes.  They mean well but it just makes things worse and puts me in the role of comforter.  I do not want pity or sad looks or any of that. I also realized recently that during this ordeal I need for people to think of me as strong. That is not something I think I need in general (maybe I am wrong about that) but through this I do because I feel that how people visualize me has some effect on how I will be, just as my own visualization helps me to be strong.

Tomorrow I go in for another accupuncture treatment. I have lost count in how many I have had. I am suppose to do 6 just to get everything in balance and then more as I need them for chemo treatments.  I am looking forward to getting back to this.  I missed last weeks session due to a snow storm and I missed two QiGong classes with the same practiciter because of a doctors appointment and another snow storm I think.  I have only actually made two of the classes but at the second class I could actual feel the chi I was suppose to be pressing against with my hands which was exciting and made me feel like I was accomplishing something doing these two things.  I have to remember to ask my DH cousin for the contact info for the Rieke practicianer that she recommended.  Something else I have never tried or even knew about but that I want to add to my bag of tool on this journey.

Monday will the start of the first week I will be at home without any extra help since Friday before I had surgury, November 11th.  First my parents came up to stay, then my ILS, then my DH was on forced vacation for two weeks.  I am totally capable of taking care of myself and my family now and I am looking forward to a little time by myself. I am not looking forward to being the only one around to drive my son to school everyday, the round trip takes over an hour (it is near work not home).  I maybe able to get a friend to help with pick up since she works the same place I do (when not on leave) and does not live far from me and offered (almost insisted on)  to help in this way.

Jilly, it was kind of a coincidence with me.  My test drug was lost in transit so my treatment was cancelled.   I got the cold the same day I was supposed to have my first treatment.  When I finally got hold of my onc, he did say it was better to wait until the next week.  I saw my BS yesterday and she said they probably would not have started chemo with me like I was.  She suggested 2000 MG of VitC everyday.  It has definitely helped.  I was feeling much better today after 2 doses.  You are well within time limits to delay if necessary.  I would definitely let them know tomorrow.   Better than showing up Monday and them sending you home.  IMO.   

Hope you feel better.    Bren

Hi rsben70,

I'm also starting chemo before surgery in hopes of shrinking the tumor and then doing a lumpectomy.  Glad to find someone else who is doing the same regimen. I'm doing 4 rounds of AC every 2 weeks then 12 weeks of T.  Had my port inserted on 12/29.  Wasn't bad at all.  I just have a pulling feeling right now, no major pain.  I'll be starting my 1st treatment on 1/8 and I'm very anxious about it.  I'm becoming fixated on the chemotherapy and forgetting that the "enemy" is the cancer not the chemo! 

Kim - Glad to hear you're not experiencing any bad aide effects.  Hope I'm as lucky but we'll see.