Embracing the Bald

Options
BooBee
BooBee Member Posts: 860
edited July 2015 in Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After

As devastating as it was to loose my long blond hair, oddly enough I love being bald.  Don't get me wrong I'll be jumping up and down when it comes back in but for now I have made the decision to show off my necked noggin whenever possible.  I'll be the first to admit that it's taken me awhile to work up the courage to go out in public without a hat but now it seems like second nature.

It does posse a few unexpected problems like.......how in the world do you put foundation on your face when your forehead extends to the back of your neck?

Please join in if you feel the same way.  I know I'm not alone.

Thanks for letting me barrow from one of your postings unique ..... "I try to celebrate my baldness, it's the first time I've ever seen my head! This head I have had for 50 years, and not ever known what it looks like!!!!"

I just spotted this book online but haven't ordered it yet.  Apparently in a book of photos of bald women.  What a great idea.  http://www.turningheadsthebook.com/book.html

Renee

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
«1345678

Comments

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited December 2008

    I enjoy the freedom of not having to do my hair.  If it were a little warmer here, i would be hat free all the time.  it is off at home most days and I love it!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ebann
    ebann Member Posts: 3,026
    edited December 2008

    At first being bald was such a shock to me. I never imagined I would ever be bald either. I loved having my hair done and coming up with new styles. Though living in Arizona to wear a hat or wig was really hot. So I made a choice of walking around bald. After awhile it did not bother me at all. So it just became the thing to do. Everyone has been kind and said what a nicely shaped head I have. I suppose I do. Though I do have to say when it is cold you sure do feel it on your head. I am not ashamed of having cancer and this is just one of the things we have to face. So be it. My hair is coming in and I am fine walking around this way too. It is just part of the process in getting well. I am proud of you. I wish you the best and hope you will be over this hill soon enough. I have 3 more chemo treatments and I am praying it is over soon. I just finished radiation  4 days ago.

    Take care,  Elizabeth

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited December 2008

    Thanks for your input Elizabeth.  I'm not ashamed of my cancer either.  I think deep down inside I feel like I need show the world that this is an epidemic and I'm not going to hide it with a hat or wig.  I want to be the "early detection" poster child.........I caught mine early and I'm going to make it.  If you don't pay attention to your health, you might not be so lucky.

    I'm amazed at how much support I've had from friends and people I don't even know.  They make me feel like I'm sporting the new Jennifer Aniston hair style.

    I can think of lots of screwed up hair styles that I would have loved to hide with a hat or scarf.  God forbid the national anthem sneaking up on you on one of those bad hair days.  Now I have good head days every day.

    Renee

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • bluedasher
    bluedasher Member Posts: 1,203
    edited December 2008

    I'm not ashamed of my bald head and have no problem with showing it, except that it gets cold so I end up wearing a scarf or hat most of the time. That's the problem with being bald in winter - even an Northern California winter.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lainey64
    Lainey64 Member Posts: 740
    edited December 2008

    Renee, Kimberely and Elizabeth, your courage and strength are very inspiring to me.  I buzzed my head about 11 days ago and am not where you are at yet.  Yesterday was the first day I went out with just a ballcap on.  I hate my wigs.  They are uncomfortable and make me feel phony.  I don't think I am ashamed of my cancer but I've never wanted to be in the spotlight or center of attention for anything so I'm afraid of getting extra attention because of this.  After more thought, maybe I am a bit ashamed but I don't understand why.  This topic is really making me think and is bothering me a little bit.  I think my bald head looks fine and my boyfriend is so supportive.  He would go out with me bald if that was my choice. 

    I am hoping some of your positive vibes will rub off on me!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and starting this thread, Renee.

    Hugs, Elaine

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • C130sunshine
    C130sunshine Member Posts: 174
    edited December 2008

    Good morning,

    It was great to be bald......I even had to stop my parents from shaving their heads (my dad does not look good bald).  I was afraid when I had it shaved, I was afraid I would have my dad's lumpy head.  I only wore a scarf or the wig when I was in doors a lot....I tend to get cold easily.

    Now my hair is going in.  It is a couple centimeter long.  I love it this length.  I have saved a lot on hair products and in the morning I can sleep later (I don't have to worry about fixing it).

    I think going bald was a great "ice breaker"....I had people stop me all the time just to talk to me.  I use this time to talk about breast cancer and the importance to doing the monthly exam.  I spoke to both men and women.  I was even asked to speak at different office meetings.

    As I would say to the newbies in the chemo clinic....."embrace your inner baldness".

    kim

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited December 2008

    Hi, Renee ~  When I lost my hair in August, I wasn't comfortable going bald, and it was so hot here in the desert that I wore a light baseball cap through Thanksgiving.  Now that I'm used to being bald-ish (I'm 11 weeks post chemo, so have a bit of coverage), and don't mind going hatless, it's so cold here (compared to what we're used to), I need my wig for warmth.  But I really admire you and anyone else who is comfortable without a head covering, especially in the winter! 

    I was thinking yesterday about the freedom from hair app'ts. I've had for the past 6 months.  All those three hour hair app'ts. for cut, color, highlights, lowlights -- and the cost of same all seem kind of superfluous high maintenance.  Not sure if I'll go back to that again ~    Deanna

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ddlatt
    ddlatt Member Posts: 448
    edited December 2008

    you will love this book!  Turning Heads: Portraits of Grace, Inspiration, and Possibilities. looking at these amazing photos made me feel very positive about going bald. 

     http://www.turningheadsthebook.com/ 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Snappygoddess
    Snappygoddess Member Posts: 91
    edited December 2008

    I love this thread!! My hair started falling out big time around Christmas(after my 2nd chemo A/C round) so since I had already picked out a wig...I opted to have him "take it down" and now have a greyish/black stubble. The wig looks nice and I wore it out once and like someone else said.. I felt uncomfortable, confined and phoney!! I do have a hat which I love wearing and love the freedom. BUT....I go back to school next week...I work with young special needs kids and do not want to scare them.. so I am debating on wearing my wig even though it's annoying. Guess I have a decision to make..LOL

    I love all of  your attitudes about being bald...it really is NOT that bad... matter of fact my kids and one sister said the only shock was that I looked so good without hair...LOL

    Best wishes to all of you in your "bald" journey.. and more....HUGS

    ~Belinda~ 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • JustStamping
    JustStamping Member Posts: 12
    edited December 2008

    Hi ladies . . .

    I had my first chemotherapy treatment on 12.10.2008.  My next one is on 12.31.2008.  My hair started falling out on 12.24.2008.  My regular stylist gave me a crew cut and I've already decided that "Bald Is Beautiful".  I wear hats outside just because it is winter outside and I don't want to freeze.

     My question today is what to do with what's left of my hair.  It's still falling out and with it as short as it is now it's harder to clean up the fall-out.  I am not sure if I should just go back to my stylist and have her literally shave my head completely bald, or should I let these short hairs continue to fall out on their own.  Right now my head looks kind of funny 'cuz the hair is not falling out consistently across my entire head.  In some areas I am bald to the scalp.  In other areas, the hair seems to be slow in falling out.  The hair is really patchy looking.

     So, I'm curious what others have done at this phase of hair loss.  Should I just shave my head bald or continue to let it fall out?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Snappygoddess
    Snappygoddess Member Posts: 91
    edited December 2008

    Just......mine was doing the same.. that's why I opted to just have him take it down to stubble...for me, it was less annoying and traumatic to come off all at once rather then having to clean hair up everyday...and mine was naturally curly and shoulder length which was a big mess.

    Do what YOU can handle.. if it's better for you to lose it a bit at a time..then go for it.. it's one of the few choices we do have about this entire cancer crap!Wink

    Either way.. you are beautiful.. so wear it proudly.. whatever you decide to go with!!

    Hugs 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • JustStamping
    JustStamping Member Posts: 12
    edited December 2008

    Thank you "Snappy". ...... When I asked my DH what I should do (not that he would understand anyway), he said maybe it would grow back faster if I left it alone.  I am not feeling as comfortable with my hair with it looking so patchy so I am really leaning towards having it all shaved off.

    My eyebrows started falling out today also along with my pubic hair.  Do eyelashes fall out too?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lainey64
    Lainey64 Member Posts: 740
    edited December 2008

    Just - a few of us in the "starting Dec chemo" thread are using a pet hair roller on our stubbly heads.  It sounded funny to me at first, but I'm down to just a stubble now too and it is really hurting.  At times I feel like my head is a pin cushion with a bunch of tiny needles poking into it!  So last night I took one of those lint/pet hair rollers and my boyfriend and I started rolling it across my head.  Oh my gosh, I was shocked at all the stubbles coming off.  My head looks a little blotchy and like a road map in some places but it's feeling better. 

    My first TX was 12/4 and I had my 2nd on 12/18.  I go again this Friday and so far no eyebrows are coming out.  They are all over the place and I'm having to fight the urge to tweeze them!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited December 2008

    Elaine, it took me several weeks to get comfortable with my bald head and now I don't give it a second thought.  I went to the mall yesterday and felt 100% confident walking around bald.  As a matter of fact I forgot about it until a little old lady in line behind me told me I was beautiful.

    There are people out their with burns and severe facial deformities that they live with all their lives.  I can wear bald for six months with a big smile on my face.

    ddlat you have a great web site.  I'm about halfway through it.

    Snappygoddess I promise you your students will not be frightened.  Just after I shaved my head a friends 18 month old climbed in my lap and rubbed my head.  This is a little boy that wouldn't go to anyone accept his mom and dad.  There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

    At first I thought that people were giving me hats because they didn't approve of my baldness then I realized that this is something they can do to help me out not to hide my head.

    Renee

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • hbernier
    hbernier Member Posts: 6
    edited December 2008

    I also never covered my head while going thru treatment.  I had bought some caps, wore them one week, and felt like I was hiding the real me.  I am a nurse and kept working thru chemo and radiation.  I have since heard from co-workers that they were inspired, their word, not mine, by my baldness.  I loved being without hair, tho I am now growing it back.  I will most likely keep it short from now on.  Good luck!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • toto2
    toto2 Member Posts: 11
    edited December 2008

    I am so glad I decided to go exploring forums tonight!  I was thinking of taking my lint roller to my stubbley head, but didn't want to mention it to anyone!  It's true-the only people who understand are the people going thru the same thing.  I started losing my hair 2 weeks into chemo and was scared.  That was 2 weeks ago.  My hubby used the clippers, but 2 days later it was coming out even more and I also thought it was like needles sticking me, so we used the razor.  I have some moles on my head, so there are some patches of hair where we didn't dare shave.  That hair isn't falling out unless I help it along by pulling (not yank, it comes out easily, but it won't fall out), so I'm going to use the lint roller!  Anyway, back to the bald topic-it's hard for me to go without a scarf or sleep cap because my kids are a little freaked out by my head.  I have a 7 year old and 4 year old twins.  They are curious.  One will touch my head, the others only look, but then ask me to cover up.  Anyone have this issue?  I'm not entirely sure how to handle this.  Also I can't get used to the cold on my head when I do go without, but I overheat when I go out in public covered.  Will I get used to this??  Chemo won't be over until March, then I have radiation, so I will be bald until late spring.  The thing I am upset about is that my leg hair is the only hair that has not begun to fall out!  That's the hair I want out!!!  Also, has anyone shaved their head and had any grow back right after??  I can see lots of hair still on my head (its very dark) and I swear its growing back.  Is it possible I shaved off my hair and only a little would have fallen out?  I am very impatient and need things to happen now, fast, and not in stages!  Sorry, I know this is an "Embracing the Bald" topic, but I tend to run amok with questions, a lot!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • checkum
    checkum Member Posts: 1,211
    edited December 2008

    I did a buzz then a shave and it seems like some is growing back.. I think I have bald spots.

    The other day I whacked my head on the counter top as I was bending over to put a bowl of water down for the dogs. ... skun my head up.  Now I look like sylvester with a scab LOL

    I don't think it is really growing that much.  I have lost hair everywhere - legs, armpits, ya there too....

     Now I am worried that I did something when I whacked my head and that the hair will never grow back there - now THAT would be a site.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • checkum
    checkum Member Posts: 1,211
    edited December 2008

    oh --- and the only ones that seem to be confused by my baldness are my dogs they keep staring at me funny

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lisa1964
    Lisa1964 Member Posts: 944
    edited December 2008

    I can't say that I am "embracing baldness", but I refuse to do the wig thing.  I bought one, wore it once, felt very self conscious and vowed I would never wear it again.  I also spent a fortune on fancy scarves before my hair fell out and I have never worn them.  I wore a sleep cap around the house when the hair was coming out just so I wasn't spreading hair all over worse than my golden retreiver!  Now I wear a baseball cap out every where I go.  I am a horse girl, so baseball caps are a way of life for me any way.

    I did not lose all of my hair either.  I had it buzzed, not shaved, and that hair is growing like a weed, but it is very sparse with some shiny bald spots.  I am gonna just let it grow till it lays over so I will have some more coverage with the bald spots start filling in.  I just had tx 4 of 6 yesterday so I feel like I am on the home stretch.

    Lisa

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited December 2008

    Bump

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisasayers
    lisasayers Member Posts: 850
    edited January 2009

    What a GREAT thread!!!!!!!!!!  Losing my hair wasn't as hard for me as others, as my 18 year old daughter lost her hair to alopecia last year.  Her hair may never grow back...and she has handled it with grace...so I'm just walking in her shoes for a while. 

    Honestly, I'm starting to think hair is highly overrated! LOL  I always wore my hair really short anyway...but it really takes a lot less time to get ready in the morning! 

    My daughter and I plan on having a bald is beautiful photo take of the two of us.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited January 2009

    Maybe this is a coincidence but I get great service at restaurants when we go out and men actually hold the door open for me too.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • tkone
    tkone Member Posts: 511
    edited January 2009

    I am about 16 weeks out from my last chemo and my hair is growing back in.  Though it is a little cold, I competely gave up scarves, hats and wigs.  I swear once my hair grows in I will never suffer through a bad hair day again!  I know I can look good and feel comfortable bald so I think I will probably stay with a short GREAT hair cut!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • GEECH
    GEECH Member Posts: 140
    edited January 2009

    Any of you ladies on Abraxane?  I had 2 treatments and my hair is just about all off.  This is my second time for no hair.  My only fear is that I hope it comes back after losing it twice.  Anyone else lose it more than once.?

    Take care,

    Geech 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TexasKaren
    TexasKaren Member Posts: 572
    edited January 2009

    THIS IS A GREAT THREAD !   KUDO'S TO YOU GREAT LADIES!

    I was bald all last, cold winter (how do bald men do it all the time?? it was freezing, and I'm in Texas!!)   I truly didn't mind being bald... it was the 'falling out' stage that bugged me the most, so I ended up having my son shave me. "I AM NOT MY HAIR" is my favorite song.  Our band held a fund raiser for our local women's cancer support group, and I let people pay to sign my bald head.  I had a blast!!  And raised $67 too!

    Hair is so over-rated......!!!!

    And yes, bald is beautiful.  Men have been telling us that for years, but our feminine vanity wouldn't let us believe it about ourselves.  Remember how sexy that girl was on Star Trek who had no hair?  How about Demi Moore in that movie where she shaved her head ?

    HUGS to all you beautiful ladies!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • runner4life
    runner4life Member Posts: 54
    edited January 2009

    I look better bald/with a short crew cut!  Who knew?!? 

    I was in chemo from mid August to the end of September.  My husband shaved it on 9/15.  It is funny now to think how sad I was at the thought of losing my hair back in June and July when I was trying to get over the shock of my diagnoses.  When the time came, I could never even put the wig on... I found out I am just not a wig person.  I wore ball caps when I wanted to blend.  After about 3 weeks of being bald, it just didn't bother me anymore.

    The only time I went out and found myself regretting not having a hat was a trip to the mall after my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out in the middle of October.  That turned heads in a way that made me uncomfortable.

    Now in January, I am almost 4 months out from the night we shaved it and am finally at the point where nobody assumes cancer anymore.  I have a little buzz cut and still love getting out of the shower and just toweling off my head off.  It actually makes me feel chic and kind of sexy!  I was walking into a store in the end of December and overheard a woman tell her husband, "See now SHE has one of those cute short hair cuts"- if she only knew!    Part of me wants to keep it short but the other part of me can't look at this short doo without thinking about the last 7 months and wants to grow it back to just put this behind me... I guess as if having my old hair might make me feel normal again.

    I will never look at being bald the same way again.  We are all wiser, stronger, and more beautiful because we made/are making this journey.    

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lktracey
    lktracey Member Posts: 110
    edited January 2009

    runner4life:  Wow, what an empowering note to wake up to!  I am struggling with the hairloss and go for my buzz cut tomorrow.  It was actually a relief to cut the hair that was coming out in clumps, and I think the dog was happy for awhile to have someone else shed more than her!

    Second round of 4 TC, day 4 today and I think I can see the light out of this nausea...

    I am inspired.  Thanks!!!!

    Lauren

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Firni
    Firni Member Posts: 1,519
    edited January 2009

    Checkum, my dog was confused too by the bald head and different hats.  Now he knows which head covers are for home and which ones are for going out.  

    Right now my head has that chemo fallout look.  There is still patchy fuzz on it and I think it looks awful.  Once that is all gone ( hopefully it will be gone) I'll feel a lot better about going topless in public.  For now, at home it isn't a problem.  It's comfortable. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisasayers
    lisasayers Member Posts: 850
    edited January 2009

    Well this week I ditched the scarves at my Zumba classes and my students all hooted and cheered.  It is just too warm to wear them when I'm exercising!  I still need to wear a hat outside, as we are in the snow belt and it is cold!!!!!!!!!!!

    Rock on ladies!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited January 2009

    Monday night I went to Look Good...Feel Good, sponsored by the American Cancer Society and the funnest thing happened.  There were 12 of us women ages 50 to 60 on the average.  I walked in after everyone else was seated and asked if I would make anyone uncomfortable if I removed my cap.  A resounding "No, please do" came across the room.

    Three of us go out in public topless regularly and by the end of the night all of us, with the exception of one that wears a wig, were comparing head shapes.  I asked why they don't feel comfortable like that in public and they all agreed that the biggest fear is making others around them feel uncomfortable.  Two didn't want to talk about it with strangers.

    I had the unfortunate opportunity to have a sister-in-law that went through BC last year.  Without exception, everyone commented on how good she looked bald and how proud they were of her for doing what she was most comfortable doing.  When she put on her wig during a formal event we all begged her to take it off.  It looked fake and silly. 

    She was my trail blazer and without knowing it she gave me permission to embrace my baldness and at the same time expose cancer and its effects, not hide it.

    So go for it if you really want to.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories