My MIL's short fight is over...

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IBCSux
IBCSux Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care

She went so quickly - I can not believe it.  After being diagnosed with Stage IV IBC she had her first chemo treatment on December 4th.  On December 11th when she went in for her next chemo she decided it made her feel too horrible and that she wanted to stop treatment.  The cancer has spread to her bones and her lungs.  It was decided on December 12th to bring her home with hospice care.  The doctors gave us no real idea of how long she had.  She passed at 3:20am on December 15th.  We hadn't even had a chance to research much or realize how bad it was.  Now she is gone and we are planning her funeral.  My twins (her grandchildren) turned 4 yesterday and my wedding anniversary is tomorrow - the holidays are coming and our heads are just spinning.

One day at a time we will get by and the last days we had with her will for many reasons mean the world to me.  The taught me SO much about SO many things.

What I feel now is fear for my own daughter.  The doctor gave me so little information and I am wondering if I should press for more information about the cancer so that I know the medical history.  In the end she died with IBC, lung, bone and liver cancer.  We suspect it was in her brain as well but her last scan in November did not show that.

Can anyone help me know what I should or shouldn't know about this for family medical history or is it not really something I should be worrying about? 

 Thanks and God bless anyone who is or has been touched by cancer.

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited December 2008

    I am sorry that you are going through this during the Christmas season. The complete medical history is important for all members of the family. I would want to know if the lung and liver cancer were primary tumors or mets from the IBC. When someone goes for genetic counseling, they need to know what was the primary cancer(s) that a blood relative was diagnosed with.

    My aunt was diagnosed with cancer of unknown origin in Feb 1978 and had mets to the bone and brain. She underwent all the scans that were available then and they couldn't find the primary tumor. She had chemo and radiation to the mets areas and passed away in September from complications of the treatments. My uncle insisted on an autopsy that found she had ovarian cancer. With that family history, when my mother was dx in 2001 with ILC, she was able to get the genetic counseling and test for the BRCA gene. Fortunately she was BRCA - but last year I was dx with DCIS, I didn't do the genetic counseling/testing.

    Sheila

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  • ilovemysweetmomma
    ilovemysweetmomma Member Posts: 117
    edited December 2008

    Let me first say I'm very sorry for your loss.  I know it's hard.  In terms of the importance of knowing the medical history, here are my feelings.  Most people that get diagnosed with breast cancer have no known family history of it.  There are two genes that your daughter can be tested for to see if she carries a gene that can predispose someone to breast cancer.  BRCA1 and BCRA2 are the name of the two genes, and your daughter can be tested to see if she has those.  Sheila did bring up a good point however.  I'm assuming the doctors believe your MIL's lung and bone mets were from the breast cancer and not two different primary cancers, but their is no definitive way to know for sure unless a biopsy was taken.  That would be the only thing I might be slightly concerned about.  You can always get a copy of your MIL's records when you feel like your ready, and I'm sure there will be heaps of information on that that will be helpful.  That's good of you to watch out for your daughter, but I wouldn't worry.  I would have her get the test for the BRCA genes however, and make sure she gets a mammogram when she turns 35.  Good luck with everything.  Peace be with you and yours. 

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  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited December 2008

    IBCSux,

    i am so sorry for your family's loss.  I have added your Mother-in-Law to the List of Angels in the Friends and Relatives section.

    celia 

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