please reply so tired of it all

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merlin
merlin Member Posts: 108
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

It has been a decade since I last spoke, I didnt get a reply so gave up. I totally understand, I am not cross just felt a bit alone. I am hoping that someone will be there to help me. I keep trying to move on and enjoy life and encourage mum who had stage 3 breast cancer to move on to, but find it so hard. A friend tactlessly mentioned that there was an article that tamoxifen was not working for many women and that there was a high chance of the cancer coming back for women that were taking it. Is this true, should I we both be talking to the oncologist and concidering another cancer drug???

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  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 6,546
    edited December 2008

    Hi Sharon:  I'm not sure where your friend got her information - I've certainly not heard anything like that.  Tamoxifen, Femara, Arimidex, etc., are drugs to help prevent recurrance - they supposedly knock your chances down quite a bit and that's why some of us are suffering through the side effects.......I don't think anyone has said that these drugs are 100% effective but they do give you good odds.  You should talk to your oncologist and hear him/her out.  How long have you been on Tamox?  Are you NED? 

    Please don't feel alone, many of us are having a hard time moving on....putting one foot in front of the other but we do and it's nice to know that there are sisters all over the world who share our same fears and feelings.....

    ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))  Trina

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited December 2008

    merlin, I know it must feel like a decade since you last posted, but it has actually been 5-1/2 months.  That is a long time.

    One thing I've noticed in your previous posts, as well as this one, is that the questions you are asking on behalf of your mom really are things her oncologist should be discussing with her (and you).  Things like, whether tamoxifen is working for her (or not), and whether the pain she had in her back or at her mastectomy site was a recurrence of her cancer, and whether she should be on Arimidex rather than tamoxifen because of the grade of her tumor ... those are things we might toss about here on the boards, but we really can't tell you what would be best in your mom's situation.

    So, please, if you (or your mom) have questions about your mom's care, or about her current health, talk to her oncologist.  We can give you virtual hugs and encouragement, but we can't give you medical advice about what drug your mom should be taking, or whether her pain is from a recurrence of her cancer.

    Hugs, merlin...

    otter 

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  • merlin
    merlin Member Posts: 108
    edited December 2008

    Thankyou guys that was quick and just when I needed to be heard, you know those desperate times. Mum has always told me to feel free to discuss her on this forum and she is always giving me her cancer mags as she says she cant face reading them as scared to read of peoples cancer coming back, but she wants me to read them just incase there is something important that could help her. Well otter  mum had a back scan 2 weeks ago with regards to her back pain and thank god she got the all clear. Yes I will talk to the oncologist and thanks again for your kind advice, sorry if I sounded rude at all.

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  • mmingo777
    mmingo777 Member Posts: 7
    edited December 2008

    Hi Sharon -  This is my very first post to this forum and I have to say that you didn't sound rude to me, just as you said....Desparate.  I totally agree with the other two ladies.  Your mom needs to take charge of her care and demand answers to all questions.  If her oncologist cannot or will not provide her with ALL the information she needs, then you must advocate for her.  I do not want to contribute to any alarm you are feeling about the recurrence of BC when taking the adjuvant medications available to BC survivors, but I just got diagnosed with round two of the stuff in July and I indeed had been on Evista.  I will not think that it was a waste of time as I did have 8 years of freedom before the second bout, but yes, I did have a new BC, not a recurrence in the same breast.  I'm now taking Femara.  I had a BLM and feel very hopeful of a full life.  Good luck and God Bless.....Terry

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  • mawhinney
    mawhinney Member Posts: 1,377
    edited December 2008

    It might be helpful if you and your Mom participated in live cancer support group.  I've found you get lots of helpful information from others that have been through the same things that are happening to you.  I've gained more practical advice from the support groups than from doctors.

     Before you go to a doctor's appointment write down a list of questions and concerns you have and ask away.  I also go with  a pen to jot down answers.  Oftentimes I get anxios in the dr. office and refer to my written questions. If you are not happy with the tretment you are recieving go to another doctor for a 2nd opinion or change doctors.  Take care.

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