Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Awww, Skye, that's so sad, that your siblings are acting like that!  Good luck getting your sister to sign that agreement...sounds like she'll sign it when hell freezes over.  That could get ugly, when she's exposed as a thief rather than a borrower.

Bad news here - we had to give Rosie back.  My heart is broken, but the whole idea was to get Harrison a friend, to make him happy.  As Rosie got more at home, she began to get between us and Harrison, and didn't let him get any attention, and that's not fair.  Today she was just perfect, though, and I just sat with them all afternoon and cried.  I'm really going to miss her - still not sure we did the right thing.

We were in the Texas hill country yesterday for a family Christmas party.  It was absolutely beautiful over there, and we really did have a good time.  Larry's aunt lives there and has a home right out of Architectural Digest.  I was ready to move over there until I found out how much one of those lots sells for.  Out of our league!

Melia, hugs to you - sorry you're having a hard time with your job.  It sounds like you're just "done," as far as work is concerned.  Once that baby arrives, it will probably be even harder to keep working. 

By the way, I seem to be off the list again.  Mary, are you, too, or is it just me this time?  I haven't had a group email for several days.  Sigh....

More bad news at my son's job, they are letting 5000 (11%) go in January, probably mostly North America and Europe.  He is totally stressed out.  Some big decisions ahead for him.  The timing couldn't be worse with the wedding and everything.  He's all packed to move to another apartment and now he doesn't know.  I'm letting him and his bride to be work that out.  But I'll be worrying.  Doesn't put you in much of a holiday spirit. 

Tina, I did get your test email, so I don't know what's going on.  It was really funny, by the way!  Thanks. 

Mary, I'm so sorry for your son's job worries.  He should be able to just enjoy being happy now, and not have to worry about whether he'll have an income next month.  Poor guy - I'll be thinking of him and hoping for the best.

And Jan, your poor brother sure knows how to break a wrist, doesn't he?  I hope he heals up as well as possible.

We're pretty sad - we took our new dog Rosie back yesterday after much deliberation, because she was trying to come between Harrison and us, and the whole idea was to make Harrison happier, not make him miserable.  However, we've been so sad since we gave her up that I called tonight and asked for more time to decide.  She was such a sweet dog.  I'm going to do some research tomorrow and ask around, see if maybe we can redirect her enthusiasm and set some limits, or if it's likely hopeless.  Harrison just didn't stand up for himself, although he seemed to like her. 

Hi all again,

Cindy, good to hear from you.  Cancer in the tonsils?  Wow.  Never even heard of that.  That has got to be excruciating.  Glad your leg is feeling better.  Cindy, I'm betting Stacey will be OK.  She is so young.  Fibroadenomas are so common at her age.  Will keep her in my prayers just the same.  I hear you on feeling like you would throw up.  It's like a kick in the stomach for us because we know, all too well, what's in store for people.

Mary, stinks about your sons company.  The economy is just so unbelievable.  We lost 500K jobs just last month!  My cousin AND her husband lost theirs last month, after nearly twenty years, and they have a ten year old w/autism.  Not fun.  Mel, sorry abour Rosie.  I know you feel bad, but good for you for going with your instinct.  The story of Rosie clamoring for all the attention reminded me so much of when Jaclyn was 3 and my FIL dropped his great granddaughter off at my house at 2 am.  He came unannounced and just left her w/me w/no plans to pick her up.  She was 3 also and very needy.  She would never, EVER let Jaclyn sit in my lap.  She'd knock her off, etc., every time.  It was very sad, but I could see my own kids world was rocked too...

Wow, Jan, ten days IS a long time.  I'm taking it that your brother is single?  Glad he's on the way to OK.

I'm doing well.  I tapered off ativan this week and it was very easy.  I cut the pills in half and after two or three days, didn't even miss them.  I'm down to 1/2 an ambien as well.  It seems to be doing the trick.  I still wake up at 3 or 4 am, but I'm able to get back to sleep.  The one night I didn't take it at all was horrendous...I'll wait until after the holidays to attempt that again.  Sleep is key.  Read some online horror stories about trying to kick the ambien habit. 

Caya, how were all the soirees this weekend?  Rebecca, what's up with you?  And Skye, you are in fabulous shape!  You look like a teenager!

Jan just reminded me...  on the dog front, I meant to mention that I've cured Paul of his two month long "second dog" obsession.  I've been practicing learned helplessness, something an old friend of mine used to do and her DH picked up many of the household responsibilities as a result.  Anyway, several times a month the dog will start barking after we've gone to bed...could be midnight, could be 2 or 3 am.  Because he has to work, I've gotten up and let him out.  Many times, I'd do that, go back to bed and he'd start it again.  Even 3 or 4 times.  I'd be irate.  So, the last month or so, I've just let him bark until DH gets up and takes care of it.  Funny, he hasn't mentioned another dog since...

He's really tried to pressure me into it, but I know what I can and cannot handle.  It isn't fair to me or another dog.

Brrrrrrr, ladies-are y'all as cold as it is here? It's 17 degrees at 5 pm! Gads, that's just beastly cold with the wind that's blowing.

I got my sweet DD#2 on a plane to Arizona today to spend 10 days with my brother who winters there. She cried when I hugged her good-bye. I think it's the realization that her father and I are sending her away (B-Day present) to sort out the mess her life is, to have a chance to take a deep breath and clear her head so she knows what she wants to do. To have a break from everyone being so loving and concerned for her that she can't hardly think.

I didn't cry, surprisingly. Probably because I know my brother will be an excellent companion for her. He'll provide a safe place for her to rest awhile. He's good at evaluating a person's actions and motivations. He'll help her sort out her own, her husband's. If she wants to talk. If not, he'll just be a good pal.

I must say, I've decided that my addiction to bookstores has gotten way out of hand. I went into Barnes and Noble after I left the airport. I left B&N after picking up $60 worth of books and a holiday puzzle for one of the residents at work who loves to spend the afternoon working a puzzle.

There's a new BC book out. (I don't go looking for cancer books generally but I wanted to pick up a copy of the little book "There's No Place Like Hope" for my administrator who is now recovering from colon cancer surgery. She starts chemo after New Year's.)

Anyway, I saw a book that I decided I wanted to read "Lopsided - How Having Breast Cancer Can Be Really Distracting" by Meredith Norton. The cover compared her razor-sharp wit to David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. I like both of them so I expect to enjoy this woman's story. 

Well, I've got to go figure out what to get my elder daughter for Christmas. I'm at a loss. She's so self-sufficient.And then her b-day is New Year's Eve so after the Christmas conundrum is solved, I move right on to a B-Day gift dilemma. Aye!!!

Caya, I love that saying "run to a simcha, walk to a funeral". I'm going to try to remember it for those busy days coming up through the holidays.I'm off to run a bit now.

Warm hugs on a cold night....Cindy

Cindy, I think a change of scenery will be good for your daughter.  She really needs some time to separate herself from her situation and realize there's a whole big world out there, outside of her problems with him.  In time she'll see that...it's hard to when you're in it.  Eventually she'll see that it's just a lot easier to be in a relationship w/out a lot of issues.  Those situations just really wear you down and if it's like this now, you can only imagine what it would be like after having a family.  Can you tell I'm talking from experience?  

Mary, why did your son take an apt. so far from his wifes clinical?  A clinical is stressful enough.  Add a big commute to that.... 

Has anyone seen that governor from Illinois on TV, trying to sell Obama's senate seat?  I haven't seen such a cocky SOB in a long, long time.  That guy is going down.  Fast.  What are these people thinking?  Honestly.  They really think they can get away with just about anything.

Warm, rainy day today here in DC.  Think I'll stay in and wrap the remaining gifts.  DH is going to dinner w/work people, which is good as he isn't my favorite person right about now.  We had "words" last night.  Loud, expletive filled ones. 

LOL, Melia!  I have that same fantasy.  It'll probably not happen to me, unfortunately.  So I'll just be glad I'm working half time now and quit whining.

Cindy, I'm so getting that book - sounds perfect.  And I am SO lopsided.  I'm glad for your daughter to be able to have the break in the Arizona sun.  Great place to go to heal, and so nice of you - and your brother - to make that happen.

 Tina, I've done the "helpless" thing for quite a while now when it comes to getting up to move dogs around in the middle of the night.  If Larry needs his sleep, I step up, but otherwise I can sleep through. (I need my sleep you know - I had cancer)

Rosie is coming back to us.  I just have to make the call.  It didn't feel right to give her back, and all the advice I got yesterday was "pro" taking her back.  We can make it work, it will just BE more work.

I totally wasted my day off yesterday because I forgot to take my pills.  No pain pill and no anti-inflammatory plus a strong cold front coming through, and my hands, feet, back and bones were screaming all day.  I was too dumb to catch on until bedtime.  So, I'm one more day behind.

Love you all.  Hugs

Oh, God, Skye...  you are damned if you do/don't regarding party invites.  I don't think you can win.  Let them know a simple yes/no will do.

So warm here today...got to 63.  Rainy but I still enjoyed the warmth.  I went to Home Goods and had my trusty paint swatch with me.  I found a gorgeous, clearanced out comforter for my guest room in the same shade.  I have black furniture in there.  I found lamp that almost looks bamboo but it's painted silver w/a chocolate brown shade.  There are chocolate scroll designs on the sage comforter so that ties that in.  I have a chair in my basement that will work perfect in there.  I am loving it.  Paul's buddy Grey threw up on my old comforter and after washing, it just never looked the same, so a good chance to spruce up...  I picked up some beautiful black and white floral prints too...it'll be a real modern look, which isn't the norm for me.

uh-oh, bump!

I refuse to let us be relegated to a back page.

Nothing new. A long day at work, fighting with insurance companies in an attempt to get authorizations for patients to be admitted for rehab. Ugh. Makes me want to pull my hair out and then I think "Oh yeah, done that before - it's too cold to be bald now!"

About have my gift shopping done. Just a couple more things and that's it.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Cindy

Wow, Lynn so sorry to hear about the headaches.  I bet you're right about the stress of work though possibly causing them.  With the auto industry here in Detroit, everyone's stomach and head are crazy right now.  Puerto Rico sounds lovely.  I hope you have a grand time.  Be sure to take pics.  Your blood work was looking good before, I imagine they checked it again.  Hope all is well.  Going to Pistons basketball tonight.  I think it will be good to get out and think of something other than the economy.  Tomorrow is my husband's office party at his partner's house. 

Cindy, glad you are almost done shopping.  I feel like I've bought very little this year.  Son who is moving can't carry much back to Tx when they drive back so I'm giving him and his fiancee gift certs. so they can buy clothes back in Tx.  I better start wrapping on Sunday and see what I actually have.  It's down the basement.  Hugs to all.

Cindy, so glad to hear about Stacey!!  Also glad your dd is feeling better and having a nice break. 

Lynn, sorry about the headaches - how miserable.  I had awful, atypical migraines for about 15 years  - I think it was a perimenopausal thing.  Finally, they went away.  Hope you find out what's causing yours.  Maybe Puerto Rico will help.

Skye, when you find out where to get those "Relatives Suck"  buttons, let me know.  Wish your family would straighten up.

Tina, sounds like your room is coming together well - you do have a knack for that stuff.  It sounds lovely.

I have barely begun shopping.  It's going to be a last minute rush this year, I can tell.

As I write, Rose and Harrison are curled up butt to butt on the bed, and all is well.  I think she is glad to be back with us, and we are certainly glad to have her.  Her foster parents were both teary-eyed as they left.

Lynn, I am so sorry about the headaches, they can just flatten you. Thankfully they ruled out the "scary stuff". I hope you get to enjoy PR.

Cindy, what good news about your niece, and I am glad your daughter is finding some healing and peace. A change of pace can be such a good thing.

Mel, I am glad Rosie is back home. Hopefully they will become great friends.

Skye, I hope your sibs can behave enough to allow a nice bday celebration for your mom.

I hear you on the economy. My job is in serious jeopardy now. I found out Friday afternoon that some orders that had been verbally granted were not posted when the official posting came out, so now I have less than 20% on the books than what we thought. The department is not sustainable at that level. It came through about 15 minutes before close of day, so I didn't say anything, but I will have to talk to the owners on Monday. Steve is being great, says we will handle whatever happens, but the plan had been to work two more years. Now with my job very likely going away, and no one hiring in the industry, certainly not at what I earn, I am bummed.

And most of our savings are in stocks .... so that isn't good. Steve is positioning himself for what he thinks will come back by selling some and buying others. I guess he can't be any more wrong than the financial pundits, and maybe he is right. Our net worth is probably 50% of what it was .

So of course, with all of this, I had another attack last night like the one I had in Oct that I thought was a heart attack. This time I knew what it was, so wasn't scared, didn't even wake up Steve. I am, for the first time, taking ativan during the day today. I need to stay calm. I even went online to reorder ( I can do that with my insurance, and then it comes in the mail in about a week).

 Obviously I understand that I am lucky, it's not mets, lots of people are worse off, and on and on. But right now I feel like we have been slammed with way too much bad news. My fil continues to deteriorate, my sil who had the surgery for thyroid cancer and has lost her voice, finds out Monday whether or not she has Ovarian cancer.

In the midst of all this, the baby is thriving, kicking, and I am knitting him a very sweet blue blanket. Names are a big topic of conversation, so if you have any ideas, let me know. His middle name will be Thor, supposedly after his dad, but in my mind a tribute to Joni. The last name is swedish and starts with SJ, which sounds like SH. So they feel like James, which they both like, doesn't work. Other names they like are Jacob (too popular?), Chase (doesn't work with the last name), Brady, which leaves his initials BS, so that's out. I don't really like it anyway. I like Cameron (several people say it's a girl's name), Micah, Noah, Samuel.

It's cloudy and gloomy, matching my mood, and is supposed to rain. So I have an excuse to be lazy. I am knitting, doing laundry, may wrap and do some ccards. And of course, I need to sulk.

Hugs, Melia

Melia, I must have missed something, either one of those emails I didn't get or something my brain didn't process...your sister in law now may have ovarian cancer??  I am so very sorry she is having to go through this.  Sorry about your job worries, too, and hope you're jumping the gun - I know the economy sucks, but we also know you are a good worrier.  I think our net worth has probably dropped as much as yours has this year.  I hate to even look, and since there is very little  I can do at this point, I don't.  A year ago, I should have made some changes in my 401k, but I didn't get around to it...too late now.  Funny, I was thinking last night about that picture of Joni, wondering where it was.  Hope everyone lets your dd and her husband name their own baby - people all do have their opinions, and although it's fun, it's really no one's decision but theirs.  That said....I think David is the best name.  And please don't let them name him Jacob, there's a bazillion of them.  No J or K names.  I'm sure they've been waiting for my input!!

Tina, I read about the shopping center owners' financial problems, too - they own a bunch of the ones around here.  Wonder what's next?

Mary, glad you're going to skip Christmas Eve with that awful woman.  Buying her a gift would just be too much, and besides, you'd probably just get mad again as she felt compelled to tell you how she was "working on" your list.  Hope she's not a bad mil to Mark.

I had a massage this morning - one of the best, if not THE best, I've ever had in my life.  It was one of last year's Christmas gifts I had left over, and it was worth the wait.  It was painful, but I asked for deep tissue since my body is such a wreck, so I expected that, but oh, that guy was so good!  I'm going to go again within the week - once I see how my body reacts.  It has been so long since I've had one, because of all this bc business.  Three hours later, my body can still feel it.

The dogs are doing fine - both of them and Farley (kitty) are sitting here on the bed beside me, snoring. 

Oh Skye, I burst out laughing at the image of those women with their pretty dresses (and your comments) and most of them wearing either 10 year old shoes (many women do this, a big no no ) and/or cheap, casual shoes - sounds like your loafer lady fits that bill.  People think they can get away with wearing old, out of style, scuffed footwear, but for professional people especially it so low class - and believe me DH and I see many people cheap out on their shoes - men will spend $800 bucks on a suit, women will wear a gorgeous cocktail dress and their footwear looks like The Revenge of the Payless Store- OY!!

I haven't posted in a few days because I've had a tough few days with my DH - out of nowhere he has developed very sensitive tooth pain, radiating to the cheek, jaw... could be trigeminal neuralagia, could need a root canal... I will post more about this on our private forum.

Mary - I don't blame you for not wanting to spend Xmas Eve with the future MIL - I just hope she does not take it out on your son.  And go to the wedding at your church, don't worry about having to invite them back.

Skye - I hope that sore skin clears up soon.  Man, it's always something.

Mel, I'm glad Rosie and Harrison are getting along better now.  And I'm glad you enjoyed your message.

Lynn, I hope your headaches go away soon.  Enjoy your trip.

Cindy - great news about your niece.  Glad your DD is enjoying her break

Melia - I hope your job will be okay. Steve sounds like he has a great attitude. I think most of us saw our portfolios take a major dive with the past few months.  Well, you know the old saying - what goes up, must come down, and vice versa - I just hope the vice versa happens quickly.

Viddie and Mary - yes I've started to organize my clothes for Aruba.  What is nice about going that far south is that hot weather is guaranteed, so you really don't need much more than a few bathing suits, cover ups, a few cotton skirts/capris and some pretty Tshirts. I am going to have to restrict myself to just the minimal amount of shoes - one pair of flipflops for the beach and pool. two pairs of low heeled sandals, and a pair of runners to go walking along the boardwalk.  I just hope DH will be okay.

And Viddie thanks so much for posting that lovely picture of our smiling Joni with Thor and all her pretty Xmas decor ... I know she is our guardian angel...

hugs, miss you all.

We're gone from Dec. 19 - 27.  I'll try to post from Aruba.