Lost Mom to Breast Cancer - Holidays are Tough

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eim
eim Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello there,

I'm new to these message boards, and felt compelled to join this evening, after feeling some re-newed grief feelings for my mother. She passed away in 2001 to breast cancer at the age of 54, when I was 24. Seven years later, I'm married, and could not wish for a happier life, aside from the fact that my mother is missing from it.

I've found the holiday season (which includes my birthday) to be the time that I am most affected by the loss. I feel that although I have plenty of loving friends and family around me, that none of them truly understand my pain, because none of them have been touched personally with breast cancer in their families. So, I'm  hoping to make some friends in this community - a group that I know can understand where I am coming from.

Is there anyone else in the message board groups who has lost a loved one to breast cancer?

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  • auntgina
    auntgina Member Posts: 58
    edited November 2008

    I also lost my Mom to breast cancer on February 15. I can feel your pain. We haven't done anything with Moms' House and are all gathering there for our Thanksgiving meal today. Hopefully it will make us feel closer and not sad. Virginia

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  • auntgina
    auntgina Member Posts: 58
    edited November 2008

    I also lost my Mom to breast cancer on February 15. I can feel your pain. We haven't done anything with Moms' House and are all gathering there for our Thanksgiving meal today. Hopefully it will make us feel closer and not sad. Virginia

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  • auntgina
    auntgina Member Posts: 58
    edited November 2008

    I also lost my Mom to breast cancer on February 15. I can feel your pain. We haven't done anything with Moms' House and are all gathering there for our Thanksgiving meal today. Hopefully it will make us feel closer and not sad. Virginia

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2008

    Hi Eim,

    I did not lose my mom to BC, but to leukemia. It has been 5 years and sometimes I still find it difficult.  I think it's very normal to be missing someone so very dear to your heart, especially during the holidays..and also your b'day.  Mother's are such a very important person in our lives, it's tough when they are not around for the special occasions.

    I do understand where you are coming from and I can relate to your feelings. I hope you find many friends here to help you along the way. Count me as one of them.

    All the best.

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited November 2008

    Eim. Sorry to hear of your loss......I lost my mother to bc June 1972...A sister to bc in Sept 2006......I have another sister who had bc and i had bc.............Holidays get easier but you still miss them.......Mother's Day is my most difficult time because my mom's last Mother's Day she spent in the hospital and I couldn't give her the special flower I had made for her in school......I couldn't even visit her because I was too young (I was only 8).........I so understand where you are coming from.......If you want to pm me I won't mind.......hugs to you....Lucy

    My3girls.......Hugs to you.....Sorry to hear of your loss also...... 

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  • I_care_always
    I_care_always Member Posts: 1
    edited December 2008

    MY mom who was the foundation of my family was diagnosed on christmas with bc SHE ALWAYS THOUGHT POSSITIVE SHE HAD MANY TREATMENTS AND SHE FELT THEY WORKED BUT NONE REALLY DID SHE AS I TURNED 15 I SOON BECAME TO SEE HER ACTING STRANGE SHE WOULD NEVER EAT AND SHE ALWAYS SLEPT I STAYED UP AT NIGHT WITH HER AFTER FOOTBALL PRACTICE I REALLY NEVER SLEPT I ALWAYS WATCHED OVER HER I SOON STARTED SEEING MY GRADES DROP AND I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO MY TEACHERS MY MOM DID NOT HAVE LONG TO LIVE SHE DIED THE DAY OF HER BIRTHDAY  I FOUND HER IN THE BED COLD AS I WAS LEAVING SCHOOL TO TELLI=HER I LOVE HER              :(

                                                        **********

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  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited December 2008

    eim, i am sorry for the loss of your mother in 2001. I have added her to the List of Angels in Commemorating Loved Ones, in the family and relatives section.

    celia

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  • tda4deena
    tda4deena Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2009

        So sorry about your loss,I too felt compelled to talk w/others w/a loss to bc.My cousin just passed this Dec.2008,she just turned 36(8mo.younger than me).Iam a CHRISTIAN.....and consider myself strong in faith,but this has been one of the hardest things me and my family has ever had to endure.My entire family has become even closer than before.My aunts world will never be the same...she's become a different person-she looks so lost.Iwish there was something I could do for her.I myself can't go a single day W/out seeing her beautiful smile(and that cute pink cap she wore).Maybe it's the memories that will keep us going.I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  • mbs1255
    mbs1255 Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2011

    Hi there, it looks like no one has posted to this thread for a while but I wanted to send my love and prayers to all of you. I'm 24 and I lost my mom to breast cancer 2 years ago, she was 53. It's been rough without her, she was my best friend. I'm lucky to have a supportive Dad and brother, but they have everything in common and are best friends, so it's hard feeling like I've lost mine. She was the most wonderful person I've ever known. It has gotten easier over these past 2 years, I no longer cry every day, but on days like these it is as if no time has passed and I am overwhelmed by the void I feel with her gone. I have come to terms with the fact that I will have days like these no matter how much time passes. No one can ever replace the love of a mother, especially a mother like mine. I saw someone else post this, and it is something that I have clung to in times of doubt: I feel as if my mom was taken from me way too soon, but I also know that some people live their whole lives not knowing the kind of love, support, security, and friendship that my mom gave me. So instead of being angry about the lost time, I will cherish forever the time I was given. Only the good die young, leaving the rest of us with legacies to fulfill and lessons learned of how to live life well. I will keep you all in my prayers and hope that you may find some peace in these thoughts that have helped me. 

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