Mother diagnosed - I'm scared...

LH2:

Of course you are scared, and understandably so.  However, please also understand that it's also important to do your research, get a good doctor, and sound medical advice as your mom will likely be overwhelmed by the news.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer some 20 years ago and has been a survivor.  Back then, she wasn't supposed to live longer than a few months, if that, because then there wasn't a lot of information about breast cancer, let alone survival with it.

If we weren't scared, I would be lying.  My mother left a message on my voicemail when she was recently hospitalized, that she was scared too.  It's natural to be scared, and it's also very easy to feel helpless because it's beyond our control.

Just remember that not that there is ever a good time to be diagnosed, but with all the information and expertise and support that is out there, it's very beneficial for the patient and the families.  It is rough, it is scary, but you will get through this difficult time.

My advice is to be there always for your mom and do as much research as you can.  Get second opinions and talk to your mother about what her wishes are (i.e. how aggressive does she want to fight it).  These will all help you in time and should there ever be a time where you mother can't speak for herself, you'll know what her wishes are.

Remember that you are not alone.  Many have gone down the road you are on, and, unfortunately, many will after.  We can only pray that this will be cured someday and alleviate the pain that so many families have to deal with.

I truly hope you find some comfort in this post, but most of all, understand you are not alone.

Be well and my prayers are with you and your family.

My mom was diagnosed in November 2002. When I found out I was scared nuts. It was like my world came crashing down.

After having a mastectomy she started chemo. During the time of the treaments it was hard. It was hard to watch her go from the strong woman I know to sometimes being helpless. Sometimes she was so weak that she couldn't get out of bed.

Being that she is my world and means so much to me I did what was needed so that she could be cared for. I had to drop out of school and work a full-time job to help my father take car of the family.

After all the chemo treatments she started her medicine (Arimidex) that had to be taken for I think 5 years. She was cancer free during that time.

 After that, in January of this year, 4 months before I was due to graduate from college, we got the most devasting news ever. It was back again! Once again my world came crashing down. The cancer was located in the same breast as it was in 2002.

Once again, the doctors when and removed it. Once again she started chemo but this time after chemo she had to do radiation. This was worst than the chemo by itself. She was always tired and sometimes she didn't want to eat anything.

I am happy to say that she just finished all the treatments in October and shes getting back to herself. She is still a little tired but she gets around more often now.

 The main thing that I can say is to make sure you are there for her. Make sure she knows that you care for her and that this is not her fault. Remember that you have to be strong for her. If you can try to make it to her doctors visits with her to give her and to show her that support. Talk to the doctors, they are there to let you and your family know what is going on. If there is ever a time that you are unsure about something PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ASK!!!! I cannot stress that enough.

Through all of this my mom was always scared. I was scared also. I thought she wouldn't be able to go to my graduation but she was there cheering me on!  That's just what you have to do for her, CHEER HER ON!!!

 She will get through this and so will you!!!

My mom was diagnosed yesterday.  I feel like I have to be strong for her to show her that things aren't going to fall apart.  But I'm at a loss for what I can do for her right now.  I don't want to make her feel like she won't get though this, because I know she will.  But at the same time I'm scared for her and worry about her future.  She isn't married and doesn't have a love interest right now, so I feel like my bother and I are her support system.

I feel like I want to keep life as normal as possible for her so that she feels like things aren't falling apart around her.  But I also just want to do something, anything to show her how very sorry I am that this is happening.  At the same time I'm trying to go through the regular motions of life so that I don't have to think about what this diagnosis means for our family.  I'm just having a hard time coping with this diagnosis.

My mom is still in the early stages of diagnosis.  She went to see the surgon today, but I don't know when her surgery is scheduled for yet.  So there is a lot of fear of the unknown for me too.  I'm so glad that I found this site and that there are other people going through the same thing I am.  It helps to see all the stories of survivors.  Please pray for my mom!

My mom was diagnosed with IBC, a rare and aggressive form of BC, as well as chronic lymphocytic leukemia on Setpember 13th of this year.  I can tell you that I have felt like there has been a noose around my neck for the past two months.  Her breast cancer has presumably  metastisized to her bones, although they can't be sure because of the leukemia.  She had her 1st round of chemo 2 weeks ago and has responded beautifully!  The redness and swelling have reduced significantly, her weight is the same, her lungs are clear and her blood pressure is good.  A thanksgiving present!!!  I pray for all of you going through this with their loved one.  Although they are the ones who truly need support, we really need it as well.   

Hi Alberta Girl,

I am sorry that your family has to go through this.  It can be REALLY overwhelming at first so don't worry, you will get the hang of it.  I literally just walked in the door from my mom's second chemotherapy appointment.  As a sort of newbie here I can tell you to know everything that is supposed to be done and write it all down.  Have the Dr. tell you the type of treatment and frequency and write it all down.  My mom gets a drug called Herceptin weekly and the nurse missed it on her chart and didn't schedule it.  This drug is crucial to her treatment and if I hadn't been paying attention who knows what would have happened!  I feel that the more knowledge you are armed with the better!  Another thing that my sister and I have done is to take turns driving my mom to all of the appointments.  It can get to be a bit much, especially if you have to work, have children, etc.  On a positive note, we have met so many wonderful people through all of this and you will find a ton of support and information here.  I have spoken with so many strong, brave women and their loved ones who are dealing with this.  Please don't hesitate to email me with any of your questions and I mean that.  When I first started with this I actually had a woman and her daughter call me to help me through everything and they gave me some great advice.  Sorry about the novel!!!!