My sister has breast cancer

My sister was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She had her left breast and 14 lymph nodes removed on the 6th of Nov. Through all of that she has remained strong but now that some of the pathology reports are coming in, it is starting to overwhelm her. The cancer was in at least 3 of the lymph nodes. That is just from the ones sent out stat. They have not given her the results of any others yet. She thinks maybe they are holding back on her on some things. They told her they could tell her more after they did some more tests. At what point of the process do they actually tell you what stage cancer your cancer is? They at first said that they were only going to do chemo, and now they are discussing more and more of doing both chemo and radiation. This is what is really scareing her. The fact that they plan on doing other treatments not originally planned. She feels that because of this that they know more than they are telling her. What can I do to help her? She lives in Arizona and i live in Idaho. I cant be with her physically to help her, I wish I could. What kind of questions should she be asking? She is going to end up with a bill for the Anesthesiologist because she didnt know before hand that he wasnt covered under her insurance. Any information any one has for me would be helpful. Thank you.