Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

PAlady · October 2008

Hello Ladies!

Once again I have gotten so far behind, but wanted to check in. My survivor group has been really busy this month doing awareness things as well as trying to sell calendars at different events. Last week we went to a Mammomarathon where one of the hospitals is doing 24 hours of mammograms for women who don't have time to do them during a work day. They try to make it fun and have giveaways and play chick flicks on big screen tv's with snacks etc.

I finally went to have my stomach pain checked and found that I have a cyst on my right ovary. They are just watching it for now and will recheck in about next week. My onc has put me on hold as far as starting the Lupron (?) shots to shut down my ovaries. I will be going for my first mammo on 11/5. Just passed my one year anniversary. Found my lump on the 9^th of October and diagnosed on the 22^nd. I can't believe it has been a year already.

My oldest ds turned 18 yesterday - weird! I really don't feel like I am old enough to have an 18 year old!

Just a few comments on some of the posts I have read.

I got a wonderful package of three garden rocks from my SP. One says, "Dream", one says "Peace" and one says "Love" in both English and Mandarin. I love them! Thank you!

I also got to finally meet a Jewel, which you got to see from the picture Julie posted (thank you)! It was wonderful to meet Julie while we were in St. Louis. We got to meet for lunch and spent almost two hours chatting.

Carol, thank you so much for the photo collage! You are so thoughtful. You and Kimberly look like you had a great time together. Isn't it awesome. We really need to work on a group meeting.

D1 - I am having intermittent neuropathy also. I have found it is when it is cold outside (that will make for a long winter around here!) and only happens on one finger. I also ended up losing one toenail. It seems to be taking forever to come back in. Awesome that you got to meet Paula and Joan.

Sherry - Hope you are doing well.

Paula - I hope you and dh are both doing well.

Kimberly - I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Will keep her in my thoughts. She definitely has a wonderful guide to show her the way through all this crap. I am sure as I read on I will find out how she is doing.

I am going to cut out here and try to do some more reading.

Take care all,

Norma

KathyL · October 2008

Hi Ladies! As is my usual these days, I am a whirlwind. ds's birthday was a huge success. He had a blast even though it was just the grandparents (3 sets) and an aunt for the day on Sunday. Yesterday was his little party at preschool. He had me cracking up when he said he had fun "and candy came out of the pinata"! I guess he didn't realize stuff was inside. Next up is dd's big day in November. The plans are in place...

I have just a few more minutes as I'm at work. But I have to comment on everyone's blue moods these days. First of all, I too, feel it at times. And I really get down when I think, OMG I'm only 37... what will the next decades of my life bring? I don't want to feel ancient at 50 (no offense to those who are there or beyond, but you get my idea...). Secondly, my fabo therapist who is a 20+ year survivor herself TOLD me at the start that this timeframe (6+ months after treatment) would be the hardest. Everyone, including ourselves, "expects" us to just move on and "forget" or push away the past year. But she compared our cancer experience to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. So I tell you all this for 2 reasons... one: our feelings are so normal (you all know that already), and 2: think about talking to a professional to help you get through it all. I still see her from time to time, and it's a huge help. It does not mean you're depressed! But it is a huge relief to just vent and cry and get it out with someone who will help you focus on getting through this in a healthy way and acknowledging what we've been through, but without dwelling on it (I hope that makes sense).

GTG. Thinking of all my Jewels and wishing happy thoughts to each of you. (((Hugs)))

sheshe48 · October 2008

Hi Everyone,

I have been so busy and been having headaches, and getting thru the training from my work at home job. I got my training pay yesterday. At least I know I will get paid for the job every 2 wks. Still working my cashier job. I'm hoping by next week to start my work at home job. Still losing wieght slowly. I have lost 2 pds in the last 2 weeks. Starting tomorrow i'm off for the next 3 days. I'm shocked i'm off for Halloween, so I will be able to start reading post and getting caught up with everyone's lifes. I have been thinking and praying for everyone. Yesterday I was in bed all day I could not stand, my right knee was giving me trouble, it's been a long time since I have had knee trouble. So I better get this wieght off. I accidently bent my glasses during my breast cancer walk and have had 2 adjustments on them and hoping the problem is fixed. So far they are not hurting and my head is not hurting so hopeing the problem is fixed.

CHJ I loved your pictures, it was about 50 degrees the day of my cancer walk, just a nice brisk walk. I wish I hadn't forgotten to take my camera. I'll get it next year.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN JJ'S.

Sherry

texrn · October 2008

To all of you who have been down in the dumps lately...count me in. Whether or not it is normal, I don't know - all I know is that it's a reality for the majority of us (or so it seems that way). I agree, those who haven't been through this just don't understand how come we haven't moved on - but in fairness to my loved ones, I have become very adept at hiding my fears & concerns & alway's wearing my "trooper" face - plus I don't want to drag them down with me. Not only that, but I have been keeping so busy with the normal everyday flow of my life ( 2 jobs, young children...) that sometimes I don't even notice, until I'm wide awake at 3 or 4o'clock in the morning.I think as long as we have a safe place to unload every once in awhile, be it with a professional therapist or with each other - I think we'll overcome this obstacle as well.

I had a wonderful Komen Race weekend/female family reunion last week! Unfortunately, my camera is not uploading/connecting to my computer correctly - for that matter, neither is my dd's ipod - always an 'error' screen. We are in the process of getting a new computer...Anyway, the Race went well - we had perfect weather! I guess I really wasn't that comfortable with all that attention, b/c I felt oddly detached at times. I think some of that was guilt b/c I feel so blessed & fortunate to feel pretty normal, physically speaking - *& I know for some of those survivors, it is a lifelong battle, with no end in sight to the side effects.

I guess one positive aspect is that I've been able to provide emotional & practical support to friends who are starting their journey. Speaking of which, one of the mother's on my ds' flag football team has just been diagnosed w/ lymphoma (NHL). She will be starting chemo this Friday - 6 -8 treatments every three weeks with 5 different drugs! I'm putting together a chemo-care package for her - any suggestions? My mind keeps going blank when I try to think of things to add to the package. I don't know if it's chemo-brain or if my mind is trying to block that part of my life. After chemo, she will be starting radiation to the area ( upper-inside area of her thigh) - any tips for radiation side effects? I suppose I could just review our past posts...

Anyway, prayers for her & her young family please...

D1 - I'm afraid I stole your halloween graveyard idea - I only made 4 headstones, though. My kids love it!!

Well I'm off to a middle school football game - dd's band is playing in their first game!!!

Take care of yourselves,

Therese

golfer779 · October 2008

Hi Gems

So much for being the "Debbie Downer" of the post yesterday, but as usual the Jewel family pipes in with words of encouragement, some good food for thought, and the usual "virtual hug" conveying that we'll get through this as well.

I had a good laugh today as the cleaning lady came into our shop. She said, "wow, I havn't seen you in a while, how ya doing" ??? I gave the standard response "great"!!! After she left, I did actually chat candidly with my boss for a few minutes about what I had wrote to my friends on-line about yesterday. I rambled off just how I was feeling, basically with my list of complaints I shared with you all. He was quite surprised to hear me be as upset as I was. He said he had no clue. So much for that happy go lucky attitude !!! Its kind of a "catch 22", I don't want sympathy, but I don't want those around me to think that life in my little world is just hunky-dory. Okay, I need to get off of this band wagon ...

On to bigger and better things ... I came home tonight to a great gift from my SP. It's a black tote with pink ribbons embroidered on it. Please check out the site www.kimskrusaders.com, it offers the story behind the grandparents efforts to raise funds for their grandchildren's education, as their daughter past away from metastic bc. I cracked up as my SP mentioned in her card that she didn't think of me as "a purse lady"!!! You'll be happy to know that yes, I do sport a purse. My son watched me open my package and I was thrilled, he said "Mom, you really like that don't you?" Thank you so much SP. I personally cannot get enough pink ribbons. Oh, and the topper, a package of chocolates as well ! Sorry Paula, didn't mean to mention the "C" word ... now that would be coffee and chocolate!!!

I visited a local surgeon today to chat about my port removal. She is all over the "heavy" twilight sedation. She said she would not even do the surgery without some type of sedation. I am scheduled for Fri, Nov 14^th. I questioned her if I would be sore as we will be traveling to AZ on the 20^th for a golfing "cation", she said, no worries, it should not be tender like it was after it was put in.

Therese, I always enjoy seeing your posts. I don't want to get off on my downer attitude again, but I will agree with you on the nights of restless sleep and a mind running amuck. I've tried my darndest to wean myself off of Lorazepam, but honestly I'm glad that I still have a stash to rely on.

Sorry to hear of another battle on the chemo front. I'm sure you will get some good reminders of what many of the Jewels relied upon during their txts. I was one of the lucky ones with the short visits. Although she will probably not being doing rads for sometime, all I can recommend even though it's a greasy/sticky/mess and a PITA, is Aquaphor. I was amazed how fast a completely raw chest healed.

Hey a proud parent moments huh, enjoy your dd's performance tonight !!!

Sherry, heck it's a double edge sword trying to lose weight when you have a knee problem. Personally I like to eat too much that if I we're not able to be active it would be a tough go. Hoping that your up and feeling better real soon.

Enjoy your 3 days off, sounds like your one busy gal as of late.

Kathy, too cool to have a therapist that you know can REALLY relate. I truly appreciated your words you shared with us. How about one of those "virtual conferences" with your gal????

I knew I loved the age your kids are, what a hoot your ds was excited about a Pinata that had candy !!!

Norma, got your PM, yeppers, I got both the calendars I ordered, thank you very much !!! I sent one off to another SiS friend !!!

Bummer on the "PITTummy" ... I'm not too up to snuff on Lupron shots. I take it your ovaries are still "doing their thing" !!! I just had my "this is not fun" physical, the GYN said my right ovary was almost non existent and the lefty still had a ways to go. Grosses me out to think she can feel up there and come up with those statements. Even worse she said she could feel my fallopian tubes (now I don't want to know that )!!!

Here's hoping that everything settles down in that department and as uneventful as possible.

LJ, I've been lucky to not have my mind run too far astray when it comes to freaking out about my aches and pains and that they may be something more than I want to deal with. So far I have just been attributing it to the Femara, and now since yakking with my gyn, the lack of estrogen in my body probably is having some effect as well. I will admit, I do spend much more time feeling my "solo girl" on the left side than I would have ever thought of doing in the past. Lets hope that we can all help each other get over the hump that we're being told is pretty darn normal.

Off to the galley, the dh will be home from a 5 day business trip, the ds should be coming home from his session at Sylvan, and I shall remember, bottom line that LIFE IS GOOD !!!

Night all, Carol

PS ... I think it was Julie who was watching DWTS, Cloris has GTG tonight !!!

golfer779 · October 2008

Back to my on-line counselors ... the dh came home, we we're sitting and I was trying to enjoy a decent dinner together and I brought up my latest feelings that I had shared yesterday.

His take ... don't dwell on the negatives. It may take some gals longer to "get over it" than others. Aahhhh, it wasn't the "others gals I was refering to", but my own somewhat depressing state (which may happen to be similar to some of you all). He said, "the more you dwell on it, the harder it will be be, to move on". Hmmmm, I swallowed a large lump in my throat and went on to try and enjoy a nice dinner I had prepared. Okay, so I may not be the best at communicating my feelings, but even if I had sucked it up to spit out once again what I've been feeling, I still think he would have a difficult time grasping my gut feelings. I so love his optimism towards so many things, but to have my feelings diminished to nothing with just a few short words was a blow.

So much for using this forum to read about the fun stuff that is hopefully the forefront of our recent conversations !!!

Time for a Lorazepam and bed ... Carol

SISKimberly · October 2008

Quick check in, and I am so glad I did. Thank you all for sharing your feelings and words of encouragement here with me...Whew!!!! It does feel better knowing I'm not alone and that this too shall pass...just not in the time frame I want it to.

I'll write more later. Got to get to school.

I love you gals. Thank you for being here for me and for eachother.

Carol, I'm sorry you got shot down when trying to share your feelings with the dh. As many of the gals stated, others just can't know or understand what we are going through. Our friends and families want us to move on and don't understand why we wouldn't being done with treatment and all...(((HUGS))))

SiS Kimberly

texrn · October 2008

Carol - it really hurts when those closest to us still don't get it. even after we spell it out for them!

I told my dh a long time ago to spare me the one-liners, the platitudes, & the pep-talks! I don't need someone lecturing me on what my priorities in life should be, or how I should be looking at things b/c I already know, in my head, how I should be handling things, & he would just be preaching to the choir! Our feelings don't usually have anything to do w/ what's rattling around in our heads, they have to do with what's in our heart, & we can't help or control how we feel. Like Kimberly said - our loved ones can't ever really completely understand what we've gone through - All they can do is listen to us & acknowledge how we feel (without lecturing), & then keep on listening to us until we feel better! It took awhile for it to sink in, but I can really sense that he's trying. Nevertheless, it's still comforting to be able to come "home" to this site for an ear to listen & a shoulder to cry on.

Don't worry about the change in topic here - it's like any other relationship or friendship...for better or for worse....we're here for ya!!

Therese

Determined1 · October 2008

Hi you guys. I'm in a library where I worked 3 years ago and it's still up and running (a major feat on this island). They have internet, so I'm like a crazy woman checking emails and such. I'm composing in the bc.org box, not Word, so I better not lose this. I'll be brief. (You guys are thinking, yeah, right.)

We worked in a tiny public library Mon/Tues and categorized 100's of books, made envelopes for the circ cards, and made circ cards. It looked great when we left. My librarian sis helped the librarian that "works" there learn the ropes of tracking circ and making the library more fun. She even set up a bunch of educational websites on the desktops of the computers, so the kids just have to click on them for homework help. Every night when we go home we mix up some island drinks and pop a movie in the dvd player and doze off. This morning my librarian sis went to the next library on her own to check things out (as it were) and then came home to get us. We drove 45 minutes to a town with a laundromat to do our laundry and now we're in that town's library. We're hoping to score some fresh seafood to make for dinner tonight (we've been getting off work too late at night and the boys with the fish are gone from the docks). No time in the sun, yet, although my non librarian sis and I did manage to snorkle for about an hour one morning. It was good.

Tomorrow back to the "stacks" (library joke). We're hoping we can finish tomorrow and have Friday off. Yay!!!

Oops, the kids are off from school and are coming in to the library, so I have to get off the computer. Till next time...

D1

JulieK_11_30_07 · October 2008

Hi Jewels - it's been busy here the last couple days - wow! Good to see some posts from some of our missing Jewels. I have to chime in on this new topic too - I'm right there with ya, girls. I'm looking at my one-year coming up at the end of November and I'm having a hard time facing it. It doesn't help that I'm having the blood in the bm issue and am having to "look forward" to my upper/lower endoscopy! I had my appt with the surgeon yesterday and she said, considering what I've been through the last year, it's most likely just a hemorrhoid that's getting agitated. But, she wants to know for sure so I'm scheduled for the lovely procedure on the day before Thanksgiving - OH JOY!!!

I've mentioned my feelings to my dh and he just kind of says, "Yah, that sucks..." and that's about all I can get out of him. I talked to my sister a bit tonight about it and she was very supportive - as she always is.

Okay - on to the Jewel posts.

Cathy - glad your mammo came out clean! That's cool that your town has a float in the Rose Parade - I love watching that one. Glad your training walk went well!

Kimberly - sorry to hear that you've been "blue" too. I'm sure it's not easy with your sis going through this now too. Thanks for bringing this topic up for us to talk about - it helps to get it out and see others are going through it too. Although I hate to hear it, at least I don't feel completely alone.

Paula - Wow - lucky you getting selected by Coldwater Creek!! One of my co-workers frequents a new one by us and I always love her clothes that she gets there. I haven't been yet, but that's probably a good thing!! You need to get in and get those palpitations checked out, dear! I'm sure you're not looking forward to another appointment, though.

Kathy - busy as ever, huh??!! Glad the party was a success! Your ds's piñata comment was adorable.

Carol - so sorry you're down in the dumps too. Sounds like your yoga's been good for you. I haven't had a chance to stop by the gym yet, but I hope to soon. Glad your port removal discussion went well - heavy sedation sounds like the right way to go!!

Kris & LJ - good to see you both! Don't be strangers!

Norma - good to see you here again! Sounds like you've been busy. I hope your cyst isn't causing you too much pain.

Sherry - sounds like you've been busy with work, work, and more work!! Sorry to hear your knee is causing you problems. Hope it improves for you soon.

Therese - so glad your Komen Race weekend was fulfilling.

D1 - hellooooo!!! So glad to see a post from you from the island!! Sounds like you're putting in a lot of work time - hope you find some time for fun before you leave!

I had some tummy issues tonight that took me back to my "chemo" days - kind of scary!!! Don't want to go back there again.

Well, girls - nighty-night time!! I'm a little sad this week b/c ds has decided he's too "old" to trick-or-treat - even with his buddies. Just makes me realize that he's growing up way too fast!

Take care, Jewels -
Julie

Anonymous · October 2008

Here you go, you hot-flashing girls:

Hot flushes may predict breast cancer drug success

By Michael Kahn Michael Kahn - Wed Oct 29, 10:00 pm ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Hot flushes, night sweats or painful joints may be good news for women taking hormone-based drugs for breast cancer -- it may mean their tumors are less likely to return, researchers said on Thursday...

Full story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081030/hl_nm/us_cancer_breast_1

chj127 · October 2008

LJ - great article, thanks!! So these hot flashes aren't wasted, eh?? (I'm on Arimidex.)

Carol, Kimberly, KathyL, Therese, and everyone else feeling down about it all - I'm sorry to hear it. If you remember, this is my second time through the whole bc experience. When I finished treatement in 1995, I remember having a really low time a few months later. I have a very clear memory of lying on the sofa, fetal position, crying and saying, I just want to be normal; I just want my energy back; I hate this. I had a super-low time, worrying about every little ache and pain. I remember insisting on a chest xray when I had a bad cough, and for every ache or pain, I wondered, is this the"bone pain" the oncologist is always asking about? I was a basket case some of the time. And DH, bless his heart, just wanted it to be "over" and didn't get it at all. But it gradually got better, until after a year or so, I occasionally started having a day here and there when I actually didn't think about my cancer.

I don't know if it's because I have been through it before or what, but this time I just don't have those feelings. I feel good, and any aches or pains (or those wonderful hot flashes - thanks LJ!) just don't bug me as much. Life just seems sweet to me now, most days. So maybe what I'm saying is that it's OK to have those low days, and that they will lessen over time. Hang in there. This forum is awesome to be able to share feelings with other women who understand exactly what you are going through. I appreciate reading about all of your experiences. I know I'm not exactly a regular, but I do keep up with most of the activity. You are all strong, amazing women.

CHJ

JulieK_11_30_07 · October 2008

Hi girls --- just a little something to make you smile on this lovely Thursday! Laughing

golfer779 · October 2008

Hi Ladies,

Just a quickie tonight, I promise ... I truly appreciate those of you who have shared your post txt feelings. I guess that is why there is a whole section on the boards devoted to the topic. I personally feel quite comfy chatting with you all and plan on getting through this phase together.

CHJ, interesting take that you shared ... you deserve to be moving full steam ahead !!!

Julie, loved the pic ... thanks for sharing.

Off to shower and parent/teacher conferences tonight UGH !!!

Carol

KathyL · October 2008

Hi gals! Happy Halloween! I'm at work (again) so this will be brief.

CHJ: Thanks for your comments. I agree that time may be the best "medicine". I find that I do have days and even weeks where I don't think about BC. I hope the length of time in between continues to get longer; you've given me hope.

Carol: Please PM me sometime to chat more. You know I'm always there, even if it takes some time for me to get back to you, I WILL get back to you. Sorry dh did not validate your feelings or listen better to you. I don't think a lot of people "get it" and sometimes they just don't know what to say, huh? Wish we lived closer so we could call on the phone...

GTG Jewels. I hope I have some fun stories to tell you about trick-or-treating to make you all smile!

wvgirl · October 2008

Happy Halloween :

Went to dentist this am before work. i had a tooth break while on chemo. Had cleaning things looked good broken tooth does not hurt so I will leave it be.

Alot of people dressed up at work.I went as Pipi Longstocking good friend and co worker was Velma from Scooby Doo she looked really good. If I could remember how to post a pic I would post one.

I have been thinking a lot lately.I see a therapist once a month It does help. I received a list of emotional abuse signs and boy did I notice several of them fit me.

I have a lot to think about. As for now trying to put back a little cash to be able to break free come spring.

I keep you all in my prayers.Hope everyone is doing well

Carla

JulieK_11_30_07 · November 2008

Hi Jewels!!! Happy Halloween!

Hope you all enjoy the trick-or-treaters tonight --- my ds decided he's too old for the usual events, so I'm a little bummed. He used to get SO excited about trick-or-treating -- makes me sad. Enjoy those little ones while you can!! We don't get any trick-or-treaters out where we are so it'll be a quiet night for us.

Not much on the agenda this weekend - that makes me happy!!! Ds will be gone tomorrow for an "airsoft war" at a friend's house during the day - then he's heading to a friend's for a sleepover birthday party. We're sitting at home right now actually watching "Halloween H20" -- can't believe I'm watching this! Ds and dh were so excited when they found it on tv - how pitiful is that?!

Hope all of the Jewels are well - I'll be back later in the weekend.

Julie

golfer779 · November 2008

Julie, could be worse gal .... we left candy on the porch with the light on, a fako lit pumpkin in the front window and a basket of candy on the front porch, left for the the eve, just got home, I think the basket may have been touched once or maybe twice if they we're being polite !!! We've jumped over the hump that you are experiencing of too old to t or t, but young enough to be out partying (I hope) !!! We live in town, but times certainly aren't what they used to be, especially when we we're kids !!! Here we are in a pretty old fashion neighborhood ( dog-gone safe and boring !!) and the kids don't show up. I guess in these parts they venture downtown or to the mall.

Back sometime over the weekend ... hope all is moving in a positive direction for you all,

Carol

SISKimberly · November 2008

Wow, did this week fly by or what?

We had a neighborhood or two worth of little ghosts, goblins, angels, superheroes, and princesses show up last night. OMG, I love seeing kids in their costumes and parents out with their kids.

So, yesterday, I’d finally had enough with my 6th period class. The day before, I’d given them something to work on while I called each one up individually to give them which sentences they were to do for our review day. The noise level kept going up, and I’d remind them they were being given time to get their work done so it didn’t have to go home. It would be quiet for a few minutes, then start all over again. It was the same group of kids who didn’t get anything done I’m sure. Anyway, so yesterday, I said, “Those of you who were chatting yesterday instead of getting your work done, if you’ld like to do that again today, take your things to the back table. At first they weren’t sure what was going on. “Are we in trouble”. “No, I’m just giving you a choice to go to the back table and waste your time again, while the rest of us learn and do the day’s activity or to join us.” “Do we have to go to the back table?” “Only if you would rather talk than learn something.” I had 1/3 off the class go to the back…the same ones that didn’t do anything the day before, or really do much in the past 10 weeks, but be more social than not.

I had the other kids fill in the spaces so they were all up front and center. They asked, “Are these our new seats?” “Yep”. They were stoked. We talked about grades coming up in two weeks and what things contribute to their learning. We had a great conversation, and they made it very clear to those at the back table that their talking and disruptions during class were not welcome. Yep, good ole peer pressure. We talked about how everything we’d covered so far was connected and how important it is to practice the skills over and over to be able to build onto the next skill, which is why things may seem repetitive sometimes. Finally, we read a scary story. The back table (and kids sitting on the floor) were reminded several times to whisper because we were trying to learn. At the end of the period, my students had only a few pages left to read for homework. Most had already finished their characterization assignment from the previous day and their three sentences. They all thanked me for what I’d done and asked if we could do that all the time. I told them that I’d give that option daily and discuss with the class next week how life is all about choices and being able to live with the consequences of those choices. That I’d mention that in life the easy road is often the one that leads no where. I’m done trying to fight this battle with kids who don’t want to do what is asked of them. I’m going to focus on those that care and make an effort. I did have one kid at the back ask if he could change his mind. I imagine he’ll be sitting at a desk on Monday.

The back table was reminded that over the weekend, they needed to read the entire story by themselves, make sure their characterization homework was done, and their sentences. More than ½ of that group just put their books back in the cupboard and walked out the door when the bell rang. Yep, they made it clear – “we’re not doing homework”. Yell Hmmm, hope they are ready to except the consequences of that choice when I give that pop quiz on Monday about the story and check off the homework.

Enough about school…just felt like this little experiment was a small reflection of our society. I wonder how long it will take before they tire of that and feel like they might be missing something worthwhile.

I talked with my dh about how I’ve been feeling, and he was soooo wonderful. Listened and comforted me. No lectures. I am soooo lucky.

Speaking of lucky, Kath just emailed that she scored tickets to Wicked in S.F. in June.

Therese, I agree about ‘coming home’ to visit with our sisters and let our hair down…what there is of it…so to speak. Being able to share here is such a gift. It is logical that we’d share not only our fears in the beginning, our frustrations, concerns, and se’s during, and now our every day ‘new’ normal lives, and the blues as we face anniversaries. It’s hard to believe that I was in the midst of MRI’s, PET scans, second biopsies, appointments with the oncologist, surgeon, and plastic surgeon only a year ago this month-It’s November already!

Speaking of November, we have two birthday girls in November. Paula on the 5th and Jules on the 30th!. I don’t have everyone’s birthdays on the Jewel mailing list, so if I missed someone, let me know.

D1- Your time on the island sounds like such a spirit booster! Helping people gain access to knowledge is huge!
Hope you got your fresh seafood and got in some sun time before you hop on that plane tomorrow.

I’ve not been the best about my exercise. Just walking and three days of my ball exercises. No Wii time. I’ve been bouncing back and forth between 146 and 148. Frustrating.
I’ve got to get myself out of my room after school before 6 pm. I had every intention of not being at school past 4:30, but I just feel like I’m treading water still…I know, patience.

Jules – The good news about doing your procedure right before Thanksgiving is your digestive tract will be so clean that you’ll have plenty of room for Thanksgiving dinner. Laughing HeeHee I’m thinking you’re dealing with a hemmoroid issue, too. I’m thinking with the crap (pun intended) our poor GI tracts went through with chemo, that there’s still healing going on…don’t ya think?

It’s raining here…nice. Today is just a sit back with the fire and relax day. I’m so in need of down time as I’m sure you are too. 10 weeks into school, and I’m still exhausted every day.

Yep, those darn kids just grow up don’t they! So, what did the ds and his friends opt to do for Halloween? I had some teenagers come last night to Trick or Treat. I’m thinking 14 or 15 is the oldest before they decide not to go anymore. Their costumes were cute, but a little too 'sexy' in my opinion, but I heard there isn't much of a choice with premade costumes in the teen section.

OMG, is that picture a hoot (no hoots for her yet though)?
Love that facial expression.

LJ13 – I’ve not had my period since February, but I’ve not experienced the same hot flashes I had while on chemo. Night sweats I’m still doing, I think, but my dh has been throwing covers off at night lately, too. Hmmm, you suppose he’s going through the change? HaaHaaHaa Or is it just too warm, and I’m not really having night sweats at all?

I’d like to think that the herbals and vitamins are just controlling these symptoms for me, or that I’m just done with all of that…but is that possible so soon?

CHJ- Thanks for your story. Hearing from you, a two-time survivor, puts this into perspective. It will just take time to accept and settle into the new ‘normal’. I’m not so much concerned or thinking about recurrence, just want to get back to feeling like the young 47 year old that I am.

Question: the first time you had breast cancer, did you do chemo, rads, and hormone suppression, too? I’m sure you told us this before, but I can’t remember.

How’s the new house? Has the cat got himself all acclimated? (I can’t recall if you have just the one cat).

Carol – So, how did the conference go?

Thanks for the card. The perfect end to my long week. I loved it! The picture was hysterical and your message so thoughtful. You are such a dear friend.

Kathy – Thanks for popping in and for reminding me in your earlier post that our bodies were just thrown into menopause, so unlike most women who do this gradually, our bodies need time to adjust.

Can’t wait to hear about the little cuties and what they wore for Halloween.

There was this adorable little girl, who was the Pillsbury Dough Boy. She had to be three. She had on gloves and waddled in her big costume to the door, put her bag down to pick out candy as her other hand had a sucker in it that she was sampling. Anyway, she had to really work to maneuver her hands with the gloves on to get the candy into her bag, then pick the bag up. She couldn’t lift it, and so dragged it across the lawn to the sidewalk where her parents waited. Such a cute picture, just made me laugh.

Carla – Good to hear from you. Sounds like your work got into the spirit. We had lots of costumes yesterday at school. My boss dressed as a heavy set woman, and there was a small dog in the crack of her butt. He held up a sign that said, “Lost Dog. Have you seen her?” and there was a picture of this stuffed dog. Hysterical.

Glad you’re seeing a counselor, and that you’re taking care of yourself by putting aside some cash. So, it sounds like you’ve got a goal of spring being the time to leave. New beginnings and spring go nicely together. I’m just so proud of you for making the strides you’ve made since all of this started. You’ve become a more confident woman who knows what she wants for herself and her girls. WHOOHOO!!!!!

From previous posts - Sherry, how are you doing with the knee and all?

Kris60 - "I see you" (in response to peek a boo) Laughing ...thanks for the HUG.

Paula, hope all is well. Are you going to be able to see Carla and her girls? That's either this weekend or coming up, right? (See the mind just isn't what it used to be. Didn't you just tell us this a few posts ago?)

Cathy - Have fun on your training walks today, and helping out with the float for the Rose Parade. Isn't raining in S.D.?

Speaking of S.D., haven't heard hide nor hair from Dana. She should have graduated, right? Was her cruise right after, or later?

Jenn - Thinking of you gal. Hope you check in and note that so many of us are feeling the blues and that we are here for you.

Miss you: Dana, Jenn, Vettegal, Maz, Joan, ARDeb, Sista, Wendy, and Tina. Check in when you can just to let us know how you are.

Sorry to be so long winded.

Have a great Saturday ladies.

SIS Kimberly

chj127 · November 2008

SisKimberly - love your story about the kids! Yes - make them accountable... What grade do you teach again?

In answer to your question, the first time I had 4 rounds of AC, but no rads because I had a mastectomy with TRAM reconstruction. Then I had 5 years of Tamoxifin. I turned 40 the week after I lost all of my hair doing chemo. I also lost my periods for about 6 months, then got them back and stayed regular for almost 10 years untilI went into menopause in 2004.

And thanks for asking, the new house is great! We love it here, and we have great neighbors. All 4 of our cats have settled in. We have a lot more sun coming through the windows than we had in or previous house, and they love it.

It's beautiful here today in the sunny northeast - upper 60's which is fabulous for November 1. We're headed out for a walk. Have a great weekend, everyone!

CHJ

SISKimberly · November 2008

CHJ,

I teach 7th and 8th. This was a 7th grade class I was referring to in my post.

Thanks for the reminder of your previous diagnosis. So, did you opt for a TRAM again on the other breast? Again, I know you've said this before, but I forgot. If so, are you happy with the results? My sis may have to think about that as an option.

Four kitties happily laying in window sills and sunshine. Nice!!!! Have a great walk.

Written on the spot as I sit in my home office looking out the window on this first day of November, 2008.

It's raining outside,

and raindrops

patter upon the roof,

and swoosh through the downspout,

then careen down into the storm drain

to be reclaimed for other uses.

Can you hear them,

the raindrops,

screaming with delight,

like children on a roller coaster

eager to run, wait in line, and do it again?

It reminds me that those curve balls

life is fond of throwing my way,

are mearly opportunities to reclaim experiences I may have ignored,

or let fly by because I was too afraid

or unprepared to catch them,

I may want to approach them with more delight

and a glove. Laughing

SIS Kimberly

JulieK_11_30_07 · November 2008

Happy November, Jewels! We had a quiet night at home last night, just watching the boob-tube. We all slept in today and dh and I even took a nap this afternoon!! It's been a nice, lazy day. I took ds over to his friend's for their airsoft war and he's spending the night at another friend's house tonight. I have some grading and planning to do, but not much else going on.

CHJ - thanks for your input on how we're all feeling. It helps to know it will get better as time continues and that it's normal to be feeling a little blue. Glad you like your new house and the cats are enjoying the sun.

Carol - how'd the parent/teacher conference go?

Kathy - hope you had a fun Halloween with the kiddies!! Post some pics when you can.

Carla - Glad you had fun dressing up at work. Sounds like you're getting things in order to take the next step to take care of you and the girls. Good for you!

Kimberly - I loved your story about your class! I've had those moments too - I'm sure some of them will get the message loud and clear, especially when you give that pop quiz!

Sorry the weather's crummy for you today - we've had low 70's and sunny for the last several days - beautiful! I'm hoping to get the pool covered and closed tomorrow - we should have done it a couple weekends ago, but didn't.

BTW - my b-day's not this month - it's in February. November 30th was my diagnosis date though. Hard to believe it's almost been a year.

Paula - Happy Birthday this week!!! Hope things are going well for you - new teacher arrive yet? Hope things get a little easier for you soon. Check in when you can!

I "ditto" Kimberly's sentiments to all of our missing Jewels - hope you are well and would love to hear from you!

Enjoy your weekend, Jewels!

Julie

joteach · November 2008

Hi to all the wonderful Jewels,

Just checking in tonight so you know I'm still around. I've been busy at work and with my beloved Lucy. She just got groomed again today and looks so pretty! Anyway, I have a quiet weekend so I thought I'd check in to read the news of the Jewels. November is my anniversary month so thoughts of all the Jewels who helped me so much are looming in my head.

First, Carol - THANKS so much for the collage. It is absolutely fabulous and I will treasure it always! You are amazing.

Kimberly - I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. She is lucky to have you to support her. I know she will be strong, courageous, and successful with this battle with bc.

I loved your account of your 7th grade class. Way to go! I'd love to hear how it progresses. I'm sure you will make a difference. You already have!!!

D1 - I always wanted to work in a library. I think when I retire I will volunteer at one (along with using Lucy as a therapy dog). By the way, we (me and Lucy) started basic dog obedience classes. She is doing pretty good so far. We practice every day!

I hope to have some more time to read the posts tomorrow.

Bye for now,

Joan

chj127 · November 2008

SisKimberly - just a quick check-in - no, once you have a TRAM, you can't do it again. I was pretty freaked out at my first dx, and considered having both breasts removed & TRAM-ming them both at once, but didn't (ah, hindsight!) Last year, you would have thought that I'd just go ahead and have the other breast lopped off and not have to ever have a mammogram again, but I went the light route with the lumpectomy. I didn't want to think about reconstruction again. Time will tell about whether that was a good decision or not.

In the meantime, my TRAM from 1994 was awesome. I had it done at the same time as my mastectomy. It was a really tough surgery (7 hours) with a lot of recuperation time, but I have never regretted it for a second. Now, everyone who sees it (and lots of doctors and nurses have seen it!) marvels at what a good job it was. Those comments make me wonder at how many not-so-good ones there are out there. I guess it just depends on the skill of the plastic surgeon. Through circumstances at the time, I had a guy who was not the best known ps in the area, but the "good" ps didn't take my insurance. But my ps just did a superb job. The nice thing about the TRAM is that it's all connected, and when I gain or lose those pesky 20 pounds (and I have done that multiple times over the years), my reconstructed boob alsogains and loses along with the rest of me. I talked to a guy this time about SGAP, and he said that wasn't the case with SGAP. Whatever, I don't know so much about the newer techniques.

Anyway, SisKimberly, if your sis decides to go that route, make sure she sees pictures of the ps's work, and if possible, have her talk to other patients who have been through it with the same doc. I've done show-and-tell with other women lots of times.

Julie - wherever do you get the cool graphics? You find the best ones!!

Later!

CHJ

SISKimberly · November 2008

Hey Jules, Joan, and CHJ,

Jules, well, heck on the birthday mistake. I thought the dates on the address list were all birthdates.

So February what? I need to mark it on my calendar.

I had a great laid back day yesterday. Greg went up to our Lassen property to do some work, so I had the house to myself. Got lots of planning done for the next month. WhooHoo.

Joan, I'll keep you and Jules posted about how well the intervention went in my 6th period class.

Glad you checked in to let us know how you were doing. Lucy's all ready to greet the new month of November, eh?

CHJ- Thanks for the information on the TRAM. I'll tell her what you had to say. I just read on another thread that a gal is getting lipo on her tummy, thighs, and butt to decrease fat cells since they produced estrogen, I guess. I'd not heard of this being an option. I wonder if that would be covered under insurance if it's for a medically sound reason? I might just talk to my ps about that line of thinking. I'm doing OK on losing my weight, but are the fat cells decreasing? Getting smaller, but decreasing in number? It's got me thinking.

Have a great rest of the weekend. The sun is out today, and we're in for more rain this week.

I'll be going to Monterey this coming weekend, so I may not be able to check in this week. I'll try to update you all on Kath after our appt. tomorrow with the surgeon.

SIS

golfer779 · November 2008

Happy Sunday Morning

So you gotta like the extra hour of sleep, but come 4:30 this afternoon and its dark outside I'll be whining.

I think that Kimberly's rain, took a quick trip north, its ugly and wet outside today. We've already got the fireplace pumping out some warmth. The trees have very few leaves left on them as the wind is shaking the last few off. Needless to say the annuals are history, the pots look pathetic and the grass is a rather ugly shade of green. Hmmmm, kinda get the jest that I don't much care for Fall. I would be a happy camper to have tomorrow be the first day of spring !!!

Yesterday we went celphone shopping for myself. I've been using the most basic phone for the past 3 years, and had been eyeing some of the newer ones. Problem that I have is that you cannot have a camera built into your phone and be allowed to take it down on the pier or in many of the secured areas on the base. So looking for a non-camera phone with some of the other features I wanted pretty much limited me to two choices. I really wanted to be able to access my e-mail from work (and the work puter's block that site), thankfully I'm still able to check on our post, but who knows when they may block that as well. Anyway, I ended up with a Blackberry w/out camera, and too cool, I can surf the net, retrieve my e-mails, yada, yada ... I have a disk with directions that I'm going to watch after I post. Not being too techy, this should be interesting.

So I was hoping we'd see a pic of Kathy's or Therese's little ones with their Halloweenie outfits on. You know you two are our lifeline to those fun times.

LJ, I'll take some time today to read the article on "hot flashes". I've not had half the problem I did 3 or 4 months ago. I might wake up every other night or two, but certainly not with the bed soaked. I have had a couple of times when I am buckled in driving along, wearing fleece over fleece and had a "moment". Boy its harder then heck to trying to pull off my jacket, which almost seems like it sticks to my top. Talk about a panic, then usually by the time I've disrobed, the hot flash has passed !!!

Kathy, I'm assuming your kids had a grand time trick or treating. I fondly remember coming home and laying out all of our candy and then trading favorites with my brother. I can vividly remember the smell of our little plastic pumpkins that we used to gather our loot.

Carla, a big high-five to you for doing what you need to do to move on with your life in a positive direction. You go girl !!!

Kimberly, you teachers certainly are not given the credit due IMO. I loved your plan for the disruptive ones in your class. I can't remember if I had mentioned to you that way back when I had thought I wanted to be a Phy Ed teacher (obviously took another path), my oh my, I really don't think I would have the patience to handle the situations that teachers are put in.

So does it do any good to chat with the parents of these kids ??? I know over the years we have received a call or two and the hammer comes down. If we hadn't been notified of the problem I'm sure it would have continued on.

I am very happy to report that my conferences with Zach's four core teachers went exceptionally well. He may not be pulling in the grades that we'd like, but each teacher said that he is working hard, he only had one missing assignment. He tends to bomb the tests. When we chatted with his math teacher, he said how impressed he was that Zach has come in after school to get some help. We had no idea that he had been doing this. This weekend Zach is working on some of the assignments that he did not grade too well on (they give them a chance to better their score) he still has one week before final grades come out for the semester.

I asked each teacher as well if he has had any problems with being disruptive in class, I was pleased that just one teacher said there was some problem at the beginning of the year (he was sitting in a cluster with 4 football players, not that its an excuse for his behavior), he is now sitting with "the smart girls", as Zach stated, and doing much better !!!

He has not complained once about going to Sylvan. He works with a older German lady, Zach calls her a little grandma lady !!! Hopefully he will continue to get some much needed help with his study skills.

Boy, I wish the rain made my mind spill out such nice poetry, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Julie, leave it to Kimberly to find that positive in your "procedure" just prior to Turkey Day !!!!

We had the major sleep in as well yesterday, couldn't believe it but we got up at 9:00, and heck I went to bed at 9:30 !!! Gotta be the change in weather.

Joan, keep us posted on Lucy's progress, how can that bundle of fluff not be the perfect therapy dog ??? I know my grandma would be thrilled to have a little one like that visit her at the home.

Glad you got your pics ... I had fun putting them together. I've started a new file with some of the more current ones posted. Hopefully we'll have enough for another page or two some day.

So I've been very lucky to have some pretty good dialogue with a gal from the CMF thread in regards to my "pity party" of sorts. She is one year further out from txt then most of us. Just as CHJ mentioned, it does take time to get your "groove thing" back.

Just a few of the ideas that had been shared by her we're, trying to keep your mind occupied and doing things that you really like to do. Also if your able to do something for someone else, it tends to take your mind off of yourself (I liked that thought). She was told to jot down things that you do for others, from sharing that extra smile with a stranger, to making a plate of cookies for a neighbor, and as well jot down the response you got. She said that it was amazing how good it can make you feel.

Try to simplify your life, ie housekeeper if possible, and to make atleast one day/night a month a date night with that someone special.

Send a card or small gift to a friend for no reason. Again, I think the point is to think of others and not spend so much time thinking about yourself.

I'd like to ask her if she would mind if I we're to cut and paste some of her PM to me, so that I could share it with you all.

Okay, I've written a book ... see what happens when the weather turns shitty and I'm sitting indoors too much ... look out !!!

You gals are the greatest ... Carol

wvgirl · November 2008

Good Evening

I will be having a b-day this month on the 13th

It is hard to believe it will be a year on the 26th of my dx. I remember the day after my b day I went to have my biop done.

I am going to get a tattoo to celebrate being a survivor if anyone wants to see it type in pattysartspot go to June 2008 almost at the bottom is a butterfly with the breast car ribbon This has a lot of meaning during the Relay For Life all survivors are given a butterfly to release. The story is read about Indians believed

If you desire for a wish to come true you must first capture a butterfly. Whisper your wish,since a butterfly can not make no sound it can not revel the wish to anyone but the Great Spirt who sees an hears all things.In gratitude for giving the butterfly its freedom the Great Spirt always grants the wish. According to legend by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom the wish will be taken to the heavens and granted

Thank you all for your support. I did meet with an attorney last week found out what I need to do to begin the process..

Had a good day 2 day

My Brother and I went out for breakfast and talked he has big shoulders He and I looked at a home for sale But I think my beast option is to wait untill spring save more money and not jump into things too fast. Hell it's been this long it will not hurt to wait for another 3-4 months.

Paula Happy B Day this week Our leaves are almost all gone here. In Morgantown they are still hanging on. Last week we had Snow 2 days my Aunt lives in Terra Alta (Alpine Lake) she had to shovel snow ! Let me know when your coming I will take time off from work we can meet and celebrate our B-DAYS

My surgeon told me when I am ready to have my port taken out she can do it in her office. I do not need to go into the hospital..I am kinda Leary about that. When she took out my drain it hurt like ****.

I too have not had a period since Jan. My onc told me that I may or may not get it back since I am 43 I hope I don't. I still have hot flashes also.

Julie loved the pic if the little girl I cut and pasted it and sent it in an e mail to friends

I found a saying the other day that says:

I am thankful for getting out of bed this morning

And blessed for another day.

Hugs to everyone

Carla

deb102307 · November 2008

Hey Jewels,

Sad to hear how several are still struggling 6 months out yet consoling just the same since I am at that point too. I too was feeling that 6 months out from chemo, I should be normal again (if I ever was). My one year was the 23^rd of October and while liberating, depressing just the same that my legs still cause me grief/pain. On the positive side, it has gotten better over time but I am really ready to get rid of pain and nerve pain meds. I try to go without and by the end of the day my legs are screaming and fidgety like restless leg and when it gets like that, it is hard to get it under control. I am told it is a SE for the Taxotere but c'mon....enough already. And while I am extremely grateful to be alive and to have been diagnosed now with all the advances in science, if one more person tells me "at least you are alive", I think I will scream. I am happy to be alive, but if you haven't been through it.....give me a break and at least listen to what I might be saying. I was going to a counselor before diagnosis and am thinking maybe I should go back for a while. Haven't decided for sure yet.

SheShe48 - Great pics and neat scarf and medal. Sorry it took so long for a shout out.

SISKimberly- thanks for letting out your feelings. Sure made the rest of us able to share also. I hope things continue to move along with you sister. And where were you when I was going to school? Your little experiment sounds awesome! I wish I would have had someone like that when I was going to school. And I love the poem. One of the best metaphors I have read in a while. (at least I think it is a metaphor)

I guess I better get back to work.

It is hard to keep up when can only check in a couple of times a week.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, no, I take that back.....I hope everyone is AWESOME.

Catch ya later!

golfer779 · November 2008

Hey Fearless Leader D1 ... hoping that you arrived back home safely and that all went well with your follow-up doc appt today. Hmmm, maybe I'm off a day or two, but I thought you we're back. I can't imagine you would be traveling abroad during election day tomorrow !!!

A good night to you all ... Carol

SISKimberly · November 2008

Carol, Carla, and...hey, AZDeb....so glad to hear from you.

Carla, that's great about you talking to a lawyer and knowing what the plan is...WhooHoo...and happy early birthday...I've got it on my calendar.

I didn't get to see 6th period today as I was with my twinsis at the surgeon's office, but I hope our little experiment had an impact. I'll find out tomorrow. Glad you liked the poem and yes, it is a metaphor with a little personification thrown in for fun... Laughing

Carol, thanks for sending Kath the card. She was so touched. And Paula, she loved your card and little bear, too. You guys are so awesome to include her as an honorary Jewel.

So, she and I will both be getting our pre-op stuff done together on Wednesday. She for her lumpectomy and me for my port removal. Her cancer is like yours, Carol, invasive lobular carcinoma. 1cm and the surgeon is so confident is hasn't gone anywhere., but will of course do the Sentinel Node thing we all did just to be certain. It will be outpatient surgery and happen the week before Thanksgiving. Mine happens the 26th on November, the day before Thanksgiving...you and me Jules!!!!! After Kath's surgery, rads and Tamox. No chemo if it hasn't gone anywhere...relief!!!!

I'm exhausted, so I'm off to bed. Love ya all, SIS

Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

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