Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Jan, my friend from Charlotte goes to a lot of those NASCAR races.  It's kind of funny because he's from Boston and NASCAR isn't big up that way...at least not that I was ever aware of.  It looks kind of fun to watch. 

OK...I'm writing to endorse teh Pedi-Egg.  LOL!  I saw one at the checkout at Walmart over the weekend and it was even BC pink...had to try it as I read or saw on TV that it really did work.  Some show about what "As Seen On TV" things work and what don't.  Well, it works.  Really well.  My feet came out as good as they would in a salon.  It was only ten dollars.

Skye, the builder is sending someone to look at the warped cabinet bottom today.  Also, you should see the railing/banister....it as as loose as ashes.  Moves back and forth 2" each way.  It's ready to snap off.  They tried to insinuate that my kids were rough on it.  Puhleeze....  banisters last 100 years in houses.  Can you say shoddy workmanship?  Some houses are built as if they are disposable nowadays...

Hi Ta Ta's

Robbin, good to hear from you. We SHOULD see your hair! Post a pic!

Mary, it's almost impossible not to google. Much sympathy on your discomfort. Would donut pillows help any for sitting?

Tina, you're so right about the bannisters. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen. I'd get everything fixed while under warranty that I could, and not feel bad about it. We are still waiting to get our final big two windows replaced, btw.

I felt worse again yesterday though I had to go buy groceries and run errands. So the rest of the day I mostly stayed in bed or on sofa and read. I also made myself chicken soup and bought Gypsy Cold Remedy herbal tea which is very soothing and helped a lot. I have another library gig tonight so have to be over this coughing thing now.

Tomorrow must be at hospital at 6:15 a.m. to get my spinal MRI. It actually has felt better since I got the flu and have been resting all the time so maybe I was just overdoing things.

Debbie hope things are going ok with you.

Joni, chip in anytime girl! - Skye

hey gals checking in

hi a robin glad to see you are still out and about yep 2 years , i had my mammo today and tomorrow a abdominal ultrasound just th regular check ups . I went camping for our Thanksgiving long weekend , just me a dh to Algonquin park ..... was absolutely fantastic I have some great pics on my blog as they were just too big to post here

http://shortiscabin.blogspot.com/

Still waiting on that report from genetics ,  i called and e mailed last week to ask about it as it has alot to do with my plans on how to handle the next year ......... hope its soon like tomorrow !

Everyone HI big hugs luv ya 'll

Joni please be safe and warm xxx ooo

Hi All,

Caya, hope you are feeling better, but I sure wish they could figure out WHY you get these recurring infections. They cannot be good for your body.

Skye, waiting to hear an update on your spine.

Cindy, what types of results have you been hearing re your tests?

Lynn, how are you feeling?

Viddie, where are you?

Rebecca, your work load sounds daunting, and that's on top of herding three kids. I am sure it is overwhelming. I hope your schedule is smoother next semester.

Tina, I remember those days of nonstop laundry and cleaning up after everyone else. It is a lot to handle, esp since it sounds like your husband works and travels long hours. Did you find a cleaning lady in your new area?

Sharon, good to hear from you. The wait for results is so hard.

Nancy, holding good thoughts for you. These tests take so much of our peace of mind.

Jan and Tina, love the stories about the kids's takes on the election. It's certainly been the most interesting race in my lifetime.

So tomorrow is my mastectomy. I feel very much at peace about the decision, but am certainly not looking forward to the experience. I don't mind the recovery, as I don't think it will be bad, but am not entirely sure how I will do walking back into the hospital. I am going to ask for drugs right away. Our older daughter comes tonight, younger one on Sat, son on Monday (unless I can head him off, he drove me nuts last time with the remote, switching from one sports channel to another). Steve is taking off too, of course. I had hoped the kids would feel ok not coming this time, as it's not the drama of last time, but they make their own choices. So wish me well. No lymph nodes, and I don't expect any surprises, since the mammogram was clear last month. I guess I wouldn't be surprised if they find some type of atypical cells, but don't expect that or anything worse. I just want it over, feel it is my final definitive act of prevention and healing. I don't know when or if my mind will ever really  heal, the whole experience seems somehow surreal and so horrifying, but at least this will hopefully bring closure.

I know you will all be with me tomorrow, and that's a big comfort. I really treasure those memories of Vegas, think about it frequently.

Joni, Sweetie, we are all with you too.

Hugs, Melia 

Rebecca, we were posting at the same time. NO YOU ARE NOT being vain. You are being practical. Not good to have nipples popping out of shirts. I have to tell you, your whole experience has been so horrific that it was what popped into my mind last week when the plastic surgeon was trying to "sell" me on implants. She made it sound so easy, but from what I have read, it isn't easy at all. At your age, you should have two nice real boobs, and if you can't have that, you should at least have ended up with two nice fake ones. It's one thing to be 60 and flat, something else entirely to be as young as you are and one sided. Gosh, this makes me so MAD.

Rebecca, you should definitely have that side fixed...how annoying.  You are not being vain.  Can you schedule it over the Christmas break so you don't miss school?  I hear you on the lat flap.  I was thinking of that originally and they told me four drains for quite a while and I said NO THANKS, plus I hear you can have problems with your back, not to mention the scars.  You have a beautiful back..I say go with the prosthesis.  I think I need a new bra that mine fits in.  Anyone have a brand they like?  Okay off to make dinner....another bad day on Wall Street.  I'm having a glass of wine!  Hugs and prayers...we are with you Melia and Joni and Debbie and anyone else out there hurting.

Thinking of you tonight Melia...I hope you get a sweet sleep and tomorrow is over fast and complication free.  Make sure to check in as soon as you feel well enough and in the  meantime we will fret appropriately and hold you in our hearts.

Thanks for all the words of support guys.  I really know in my heart that something has to be done about that side...the "bottoming out" is getting progressively worse and I am rapidly approaching a point that bras are going to become a real problem since they are not designed to hold a breast that is in your armpit or cover a nipple that is on your sternum (a bit of an exaggeration, of course but you guys get the idea) not to mention that it seems like the dratted thing gets BIGGER as it sinks down my chest, so now even in a bra my left is larger than my prosthesis, and as such appears lower on my chest.  Right now I suspect I am the only one who sees it, but I think that it will come to a point that it will be noticable by all within a few months judging by the rate of change.  YECK.  None of this is likely to be addressed until January at the earliest, which is my winter break, and I will get a mammogram be seen by my BS and my Onc in the intervening time.  I plan to seek advice from them at that time, as well as take mammogram results into account.

Ah well...I am babbling now.  time to close down the computer.  Love to all....

Melia, thinking about you! I'm sure you're out of surgery and on the road to recovery! hugs!

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick check in to tell you that the surgery went well, I am home, feeling very well. It only took just over an hour, is sooo much easier than when I had the axillary node dissection with the mastectomy. I am just a little sore, but slept great last night. I am getting great pampering from the family, and I think we are all just so relieved that I made this decision and that it is over. I realize that bad things can still happen, but at least I won't worry any more about finding another breast lump!  And last time, I wasn't allowed to shower until the drains were out, but this time, I can shower after 48 hours (just one drain). Steve says it's b/c I probably smelled so rank last time that the dr doesn't want to go through that again! 

I will catch up with all the posts over the next couple of days (brought the work laptop home, so I don't have to even move much). But know I am thinking of all of you with love, and that I so appreciate the support.

Hugs, Melia

Hi guys, quick check in.  Melia, so great to hear from you.  I'm thrilled that you are done, let alone back online so fast.  That's a good sign.

My insurance through the DH's old employer ends this month so I tried to refill under my new plan, which has overlapped the old one by several months now.  Total PIA.  They keep denying, saying stuff like prior authorization from dr. required.  Hello?  I have a valid rx.  Fortunately, I was trying to get refills on effexor and ambien, not mandatory stuff like tamoxifen or the heart drugs.  I made my second call to United today and they assured me it wasn't a problem.  I call the pharmacy back to see if I can refill tamoxifen...again, denied.  I hate this annoying crap.

Gorgeous fall day here today, in the low sixties.  I washed my front windows and put up our lighted Halloween decorations..Jaclyn was beaming when she got off the bus and saw them.  Tacky, yes.  But fun stuff.

Paul is brining a friend home on the bus w/him and I am dropping them off, for the first time, at the cinema up the st.  They are meeting two girls there.  Last night he asked me for "girl tips".  LOL!  Then he said something like I can't believe I have my first date.  I was cracking up.  Anyway, the boys mom will pick them up and he'll have his cell if there any problems.  This is a big first for this house...  going somewhere alone.  I did manage to get him in the basketball league for this school district, despite registration being closed.  It was a big hassle as the website had no email contact or phone number.  I did some major sleuthing and finally reached the director and he let Paul in.  I was so happy.  He knew a half dozen kids or so, from school, and I think this will really help him feel more at home here.  Other than that, it's soccer all weekend, an open house here on Sunday by Owens Corning, the basement finishing system people.  I don't have to be here, thankfully.

Melia...take your pain meds like clockwork.  Stay ahead of it and you'll feel a lot better.

Hi all,

Sorry I have been so lax. Between Arlene, my mom and my sis, I have been quite busy. That is no excuse. One of my friends who was diagnosed with BC 3 years ago, and had a mastectomy then, just had diep surgery on both sides last week. Lynn, she used Dr. Caterson and loved her. She is very happy with her results.

Another neighbor was diagnosed last month with her2, and had a mastectomy yesterday. She will start chemo in a few weeks.

Caya, Skye, Tina- "Living Proof" is on tomorrow night on Lifetime at 9PM. It stars Harry Connick Jr, as Dr. Slamon, the dr who discovered the her2 protein and hercepton. I love Harry and it sounds like a very moving story. If it weren't for Dr. Slamon, we wouldn't be so lucky.

Melia,

I am glad you are home and things went smoothly. Now rest and take advantage of all your help.

Rebecca,

You are NOT being vain. You deserve looking great. You are right, if only he had listened to you in the first place. OY! 

Mel,

How are you? Are you heeled? I hope you are feeling a whole lot better.

Debbie,

Good luck on Tuesday.

Lynn,

GO SOX!!! We are back in the race!! Take it easy, girl!

Tina,

Paul having a first date is BIG news!! I hope he has fun. 

Mary,

I hope your back is feeling better real soon.

Skye and Caya,

I hope both of you feel better soon.

I haven't read all the posts, but I hope everyone is fine.

Joni,

My thoughts are with you. I am sending lots of hugs your way.

I have been kind of tired lately. I do not know if I have been running around too much or something else. It is so hard not to think of negative possibilities since my dx. I do have a physical in two weeks, and I already had my blood tests- and as they say- no news is good news. During chemo my hands began to shake when I hold a cup of tea- and they still do. The gift that keeps on giving. 

Arlene is in the middle of chemo. Alan, her dh, had to go away on business for a few days, so I got to spend quality time with her. We had a girlie weekend at her house.It was fun and she was glad I could be there with her. It was a win-win situation. 

My B'day was Wednesday and we went to my ds, Jonathan's, restaurant for dinner. He is the manager, so we got a delicious meal, soup to nuts, for free- just the price of the tip. I had two cosmos- Yum!!

My sister is having another surgery on her back in a few weeks- the first surgery in August was not too successful. She has been in a lot of pain. I will probably go there for a few days after her surgery to help her.

My mom wants me to go to Atlantic City with her and a few of her friends. They are going on a bus tour to AC, and she wants me to help her get around. She will need a wheelchair for sure. I can't believe that at 92, she still has the energy and desire to go. I just do not know if I share that energy and desire to spend 3 days with her and her friends. It does not sound like fun at all- as a matter of fact, it sounds horrible, but I would feel guilty if I do not go. I am not sure what to do. 

On a brighter note, we are still at our cottage until Nov 1. The weather has been wonderful and it is so peaceful and quiet here. All of Ed's appointments have been great- it has been 5 1/2 years since he has been diagnosed- he is a 5 1/2 year pancreatic survivor! 

I hope you all have a great night.

Love,

Viddie 

Melia, I'm glad you are well and this is behind you.  Take care of yourself and listen to your body.

Skye, sorry you didn't get your MRI results and I hope you get better soon.  A bunch of people at work had a cold that turned into a sinus infection so you might need some prescription meds!

Joni, thinking of you - several times a day.

Tina, first date for Pauly?  Guess you'll have to call him Paul from now on.  My boys didn't start very early but they are head over heels in love right now. 

I told my physical therapist I wasn't getting any better and I thought he should reconsider the traction for the lumbosacral spine (lower back) and he agreed.  I think he's mad at himself for not doing it earlier.  I had it today and so far it feels a little better.  I only have one more PT authorized and hope they will give me some more.  He keeps asking me if I had a MRI or hinting at a herniated disc but I have no pain other than when I sit so it's a mystery.

Viddie, good to hear from you.  You have been busy!  I hope the mom thing works out.  Lynn, take care...off to more cleaning but I decided to wait until Sunday to wash the kitchen floor - maybe I can guilt my husband into helping.  Take care.

Hi Ladies,

Mary, I don't envy what you are going through with your back. Do you mean you'll be in traction in a hospital for this treatment? It sure sounds like you need some relief, whatever the decision.



Tina, that is so funny your son has chosen to be called P.J. and that is what everyone calls him now. P.J. Jones has a great ring to it however.



I would LOVE to get out to a mall. I spent yesterday in bed with a low grade fever and ultimate costochondritis pain in my left collarbone area, still coughing and congested so I of course couldn't go to Chicago today. I missed a brunch cruise from Navy Pier :-( and other fun activities. Hoping I can finally get rid of this. I have started gargling with hot salt water, should have done that sooner. And Caya I'm still drinking your vinegar potion as well.



Pouting in Wisconsin - Skye

Hello dear Ta Tas,

Oh Tina, I can just imagine you and Paul Sr. getting calls for PJ - too hilarious.  But I agree with Skye, PJ Jones has a great sound to it. 

Skye, I am still not great either.  But with a low grade fever, maybe you should check with a dr. - you could have bronchitis or pneumonia - you might need an antibioitc.  I have also been pretty cooped up here since Tuesday,  but did go out last night to an Italian restaurant with another couple. 

Mary - I would explore getting more PT coverage for sure, and try the other options.  Sorry about the cold - I've had it since Tuesday, my mother had it before me and she said it shlepped out nearly 2 weeks for her - OY!!

Viddie- thanks for checking in.  I hear you on accompanying your mother and her friends to Atlantic City - do you get along with your mother in general?  I do with mine, and I would probably do it for her - and bring alot of good books and an IPOD.  There are a few very interesting books by this really cool author - Linda Godfrey - perhaps you have heard of her?  Glad you and Ed are still enjoying your cottage - and mazel tov on his being a 5 1/2 year pancreatic cancer survivor - really amazing.

I am at home today prepping for my colonoscopy tomorrow morning - not looking forward to it, but the prep is probably worse than the procedure. I called my gyn.'s office to ask them about my ultrasounds, and left them a message that if there was nothing to talk about, then to please send copies to my onc. and GP - so I didn't hear from her office, so I am assuming no news is good news.  I am also having a bone density scan this week.  Just getting all these things done so when I see my onc. in 3 weeks he should have all the results.  I want to talk to him about switching from Tamoxifen to one of the AIs, - there are some studies out that say ER+PR+HEr2+ patients do better on an AI - but you have to be postmenopausal to go on an AI, and I don't think I am yet.  Which would mean taking out my ovaries - but I have osteopania (precursor to osteoporosis), so this would not be good for my bones.  We'll see how my bone density score is - Tamox. is actually supposed to be good for the bones, it will be interesting to see if there is any improvement  since my last score which was done before this whole nightmare began.

Joni -  sending hugs to you.

xo Caya

Ok, time for me to quit putting things off.  I've been busy, but making progress on a huge list of things to do, and although I've read every single word, I've been lazy about contributing.  I'll try to give you the short version.

Skye and Caya, you two need to get healthy - you both must be run down, so baby yourselves and get over these ailments.  Mary, you too  - I sympathize on that piriformis thing - I had that for the longest time, and it was miserable.  It finally went away.  Joni, thinking of you and hoping you're doing ok - hugs to you.

Viddie, it was great to hear from you - I was hoping you were still at the cottage enjoying yourself.  Congrats on Ed's milestone, and I agree - you should try to avoid the geriatric trip to the city.  Sounds miserable.  If you must go, take Atiman with you!

Nancy, please don't leave us again.  I hope you realize how much we missed you, from the reaction you got when you reappeared.  You are so special - we need you here.

Tina and Rebecca, I always enjoy your stories, kid and otherwise.  Rebecca, I am so upset at the state of your reconstruction, but agree you MUST correct that.  You are too beautiful - and that sounds like a total botch job by a surgeon who is fixated on big ones.  I hope he's ashamed of himself.

Jan and Lynn, I know you guys are really busy with work, but you are in my thoughts.  How are things by now after your stage 3, Lynn? 

Deb, thinking of you and hope your biopsy comes back fine.  This must be colonoscopy week, with you and Caya, and I had mine Friday...Good luck to you both.  Mine came back polyp free for the first time, so I don't have to do it again for 3 years.

Sharon, hope your life is going well - loved your pictures!!  Wish I lived up there with you.  Have you gotten your genetics report yet?  Cindy, what's new with you?  I miss you - seems like you haven't posted much lately.  Hope all is well.

And Melia...sorry I didn't post before your surgery, but I am so very glad you did well and I hope things are continuing to progress well.  I have been thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. 

If I missed anyone, sorry, but I love you anyway.  Oh, I did miss Robbin - glad you checked in recently though, and hope you don't have forest fire worries this fall.  I always worry about you.  Would love to see your hair.

Now, as far as I am concerned, I'm fine.  Had my oncologist visit last week and nothing new there.  The aforementioned colonoscopy was the next day, and that was good.  I don't know when I'm going back to work - presently the plans are to stay out until Nov. 3, but I got a message on the phone the other day from my boss saying something about waiting until they were moved back into the hospital before returning.  That would be probably another week or two, and maybe more.  That would work out fine.  I have that ultrasonic scar massage order that I have spent HOURS on, every day, for the past THREE WEEKS.  Finally got them to say they will approve it for the first month (out of three) and then reevaluate and if I need more they will approve another month or two.  So, I start that on Wednesday, a month after I got the order.  That will make it hard to work, with all those visits (3 times a week) so I don't mind staying off. 

Harrison may be getting a brother or sister - we have applied to adopt a greyhound.  I am nervous, as I don't want him to feel jealous, as I am all about making his life happy as possible.  However, we think he might enjoy company.  It is a very involved process - they make a home visit, check references, make you fill out a questionnaire about dog care philosophy, etc.  So it's a great organization.

A couple weeks ago we went to Austin for the day for the memorial service for my cousin Amy, who died at 38 of a brain aneurysm.  It was the most wonderful service - really a testament to who she was and the difference she was making in the community.  She advocated for the disabled, and there was even a disabled guy who got up and spoke about how she had helped change his life.  Very moving.  They had a group of women who do African drumming, who played at the beginning and end of the service - at the end, they did the farewell song of whatever tribe.  It was incredible - I wish I could have taped it or could explain it to you all, but it was extremely powerful.

We finally gave up on having a second bedroom (room really too small for a bedroom AND Larry's office) and sold our bed and replaced it with a sleeper sofa.  It really looks great.  We didn't spend a lot, but it's certainly good enough for the rare company we have.  It has inspired me to work on the house and reorganize things, so that has been keeping me busy.

For now, that's a brief update.  I'll try to do better.  Love you all.