I think I have a problem

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited October 2008
    Oh Annie , gosh darn it and a few other choice words !@$%#@#$!!! I hate this f-ing disease! I was praying , and I really felt this was going to be nothing serious. Like no surrender said , its not the end , just the beginning of more tx. I'm so sorry .  I know I can't say anything to make this better. But please know I am praying and will be here for you. Please let us know what the next step is. Hugs , Melody
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  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited October 2008

    Well for cryin' out loud, girl. I had to track you down in this topic because I haven't seen you forever in my "usual" spaces. And now this shitty news. Damn, I can't leave you alone for a minute!!

    Seriously, though, this is just--god, I don't even have the words. My heart aches.

    But it's NOT a death sentence. My mom had locally advanced bc with 8/15 nodes positive back in the day when all they did was cobalt radiation and radical surgery. She lived 20 years before dying of colon cancer, not breast cancer. You will hear lots of stories about survivors, if you haven't heard enough already. But it never quite translates to one's own situation. Gives a little comfort, but does not wipe away all doubt.

    So, my friend, I'm walking beside you here. I'm not letting you out of my sight again!

    Hugs,

    Anne

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited October 2008

    Just a note to let you know we're thinking of you. I'm sure it's an exhausting day due to the PET scan, so take it easy tonight, let your mind relax. 
     
    ((Hugs))
    Tender 
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  • HeatherBLocklear
    HeatherBLocklear Member Posts: 1,370
    edited October 2008

    Dear All,

    I had the PET scan this morning, then went straight to campus and taught until early this evening. I'm feeling a bit woozy this evening; probably stress plus tiredness. I have an appointment with the BS tomorrow afternoon after a graduate faculty meeting in the morning. I hope things won't be too dire. But, after all, what is "dire"?

    A demain. Love to all,

    Nani's Mother

    PS: Ah yes, I remember that I wanted to ask you all something. When the PET techie was out of the room where he'd injected me, I looked at his clipboard. BS has described my lump as a "metastasis." Interesting, I think, considering the breast tumor was, theoretically at least, removed by him during surgery. Does he mean metastatic from the original tumor, or does this mean there's more neoplasm in the breast? Of course I'll know tomorrow when I consult with the BS.

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited October 2008

    Sleep tight, wishing for the best possible word tomorrow.

    Love, Ann

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  • jeanne46
    jeanne46 Member Posts: 1,941
    edited October 2008

    Annie, I wouldn't pay much attention to what the tech had on his clipboard.  It may have been written that way for their records, or for insurance, or simply to let the radiologist reading the scan know that the node had some cancer cells already detected by biopsy.

    Good luck with your meeting this afternoon.  Praying for unremarkable results. 

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited October 2008

    Annie, it's my understanding that the reason why your doc ordered the PET scan was because of the residual BC in your node.  Technically, any positive node is a "metastasis", albeit a local or loco-regional one.  So, that lump under your arm is/was a "metastasis" of the original tumor in your breast.

    Also, I'll bet the word "metastasis" was written on that form because your doc needed to justify the PET scan.  In insurance company lingo, a known "metastasis" would be an appropriate indication for the additional testing.

    You are a courageous woman to sit through a graduate faculty meeting, waiting for your scan results.  I'm afraid I would need to skip the meeting, and have an early and prolonged lunch at the local ale house.

    otter 

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited October 2008

    Annie, it's otter again.

    Write when you're feeling up to it.  Even though we were all there with you, crowded in that PET scan room, some of us couldn't see the screen and wouldn't have known what we were looking at anyway.

    otter 

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  • ICanDoThis
    ICanDoThis Member Posts: 1,473
    edited October 2008

    {{{{{Annie}}}}} -

    When you're ready to talk, we're here to listen.

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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited October 2008

    Annie--another one of the "cows" here leaning against you to hold you up!!

    Yup, from what I understand and was told by my onc, in order to get the insurance to approve the PET sometimes they have to list either "mets" or "suspected mets" or you would be stuck for the $4,500 bill for the PET. 

    Let us know how you are doing, when you are up for it!

    Hugs and kisses, from me, Pierre, and Francois #1 anda #2!!

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  • HeatherBLocklear
    HeatherBLocklear Member Posts: 1,370
    edited October 2008

    Dear all + my François,

    Just back from the BS's office; I think I was the last patient of the day.

    The PET scan was CLEAN except for the biopsied area of remaining neoplasm in the axilla! I am breathless with disbelief over the good news. I prepared myself, my mother, and my girls for the worst, and went in determined to be strong, thinking that even extensive mets these days can be dealt with for several years. With luck, people who develop mets today will still be around when more powerful and effective treatment is found in the near future (as I believe it will be).

    Now for surgery on Thursday next to get rid of that lump, whatever it is. The BS isn't sure it's even a lymph node. Since my BS is medullary, he's wondering if my body didn't herd up remaining free-floating cells and encase them in a cocoon of white blood cells, ergo the necrotic tissue surrounding them. My mind isn't scientific enough to be able to evaluate the feasability of such a hypothesis.

    I did ask him about the "metastatic" designation, and he responded exactly the same thing Otter and BadBoob suggest above. He told me PET scans are hard to get approved, especially this rapidly after chemo and surgery, so he had to claim that metastasis had been clinically ascertained to get permission. Also, he added, anything that shows up outside the primary tumor is clinically a metastasis, so it's not a lie.

    Finally, he was furious at the plastic surgeon for telling me to gain weight to have more belly fat for the reconstruction. "He's insane!" he railed. "Gaining weight is the single most important predictor of recurrence, especially in triple negative BC. Don't LISTEN to him!" Needless to say, I won't. I don't care how big or small my new boobs turn out to be, as long as I'm alive to look down at them.

    How can I thank you all for being my elephant cows? I guess simply by being one of those who hold others up the next time that's needed.

    I love you all.

    Annie

    EDITED to add: As far as the Avastin is concerned, I'm going to donate blood on Monday so that they have a store of my own on hand in case of renewed bleeding issues. The BS said he definitely doesn't want another pair of his custom-made trousers ruined, so would like to be able to step away from the table if I start spurting like a fountain again. Yeah, right! :-)

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2008

    Oh, Annie - what fabulous news!

    Lisa

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited October 2008

    Fantastique, cher Annie!
     
    Tender 
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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited October 2008

    Oh Annie, sweetie, (ooops!  sorry, Dr. Camel Tail) this is just too wonderful for words!!!!!

    And yup, gaining weight is not good, period.  Staying at a good weight, eating plenty of fresh fruits and veggies, and getting plenty of exercise, is the best way to prevent recurrence.  MOreso with TN than E+.

    Oh my, are you up to a double date with our François's or shall we let it wait for a while?

    I am jumping up and down here and yelling "Yahoo" and my dog thinks I am nuts.  I told her Aunt Annie Camel Tail us gonna be just fine, so she ran and got Sponge Bob, and is shaking him like crazy, and said be sure to tell Aunt Annie that she is yelping "Yahoo!" also........

    So wonderful--those PETS are so thorough and accurate--yahoo lady!!!!!

    You got lots more years to deal with the politics and economic crisis and academic (sp?)  b.s.so rock on lady!!!!!

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  • ICanDoThis
    ICanDoThis Member Posts: 1,473
    edited October 2008

    YESSS!!!!!!!!

     Happy, happy, happy.

    Who'd of thought, a year ago, that we would be going, yeah, you're getting surgery!

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  • HeatherBLocklear
    HeatherBLocklear Member Posts: 1,370
    edited October 2008

    God, I can't believe how I've come to love you all. Please tongue kiss the doggie from me. (Well, what do you THINK I mean?! I just mean give her a quick lick!) Cool

    Annie

    EDITED to add: As far as François I and François II are concerned, I think we should wait until I have reconstructed boobs to play around with. Ahem. The Voices made me write that! I am positively giddy with relief and happiness. And yes, you're right, who'd a thunk anyone would celebrate surgery? Tongue out

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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited October 2008

    YaHoooooo!  Love that the pet looks so good :)

    Hugs

    Deb C

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited October 2008

    YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

    Need one of those "happy dance" videos!!!!

    I am so thrilled!!!!

    I also love the involvement of all pets in response to this happy PET scan news!!!!

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited October 2008

    Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anne! Great news. Now , surgery to get rid of those "leftover" cells , and then onward and upward! Get a good nights sleep Annie. You sooo deserve it. Hugs , Melody

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  • Sassa
    Sassa Member Posts: 1,588
    edited October 2008

    Annie, I am so glad to hear the good news!!!! Laughing

    {{{{Hugs}}}}

    Mary Jo

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited October 2008

    Annie , AnnNYC is right , you need a happy dance , and this is one of my favorites , just for you!

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  • FloridaLady
    FloridaLady Member Posts: 2,155
    edited October 2008

    Party...I'm doing my special happy dance just for you Annie.  I've had a bad week...but your news makes it worth getting to today just to share your news! I hope you have special plans this weekend to celebrate your news.

    Yes!!!! My happy dance kind of look's like honeygirls videoLaughing

    Flalady

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited October 2008

    Thanks for the happy dance, Melody!  

    This is the soundtrack I've been imagining (but it doesn't mean anyone has to have beef for dinner)!

    Annie, I'm so, so happy for you!

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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited October 2008

    Annie, I made Jaque (he he he--Jack--hubby) take me to dinner tonight at a French  restaurant, and we had a great bottle of French wine to celebrate--was not a fancy restaurant in Paris, but we celebrated nonethless, and I told him he would have to excuse me while I met you and Francois #1 and #2 in Paris for our big time, new "boob" celebration.  He said he totally understood, and wished us a happy boobie time!!

    he he he--Ms. Betsy gives great tounge kisses--I like to refer to them as sloppy cocker kisses--very healing and wonderful, and she gave them to me and told me to send them to you!!

    You rock, lady!!

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  • lisamed123
    lisamed123 Member Posts: 186
    edited October 2008

    Annie,

    I am sooooo relieved and happy for you.  Have a fantastic weekend!

    Lisa

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  • swimangel72
    swimangel72 Member Posts: 1,989
    edited October 2008
    Annie I feel sooo relieved for you! WAY TO GO GIRL! Laughing
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2008

    Annie!!!!!  That is FANTASTIC news!  I just signed in to catch up on a few of our sisters and was THRILLED to read the past few pages of your saga.  Where the heck have I been for the past few days?!?!  I don't know.....

    Anyway, I am glad you can focus on yourself, and getting my new book published....oh wait.....I mean focus on getting through surgery, etc.

    Lots of love and prayers, Deb

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  • femme
    femme Member Posts: 262
    edited October 2008

    Annie, Annie,

    You are the camel who launched a thousand elephants.  And anyone with even a little common sense knows that  elephants must be given wide berth.  Annie your life is waiting for you.  The only problem is the herd of elephants that now folllow you night and day.

    By the way, I have heard that elephants mate for life.  When a female elephant gets sick, her mate will often try to revive her by attempting sex with her. Sometimes it actually cures the little lady.  My "Main Man" and I refer to this as "the old elephant trick" and I must admit to having tried its' curative powers from time to time.

    Annie, with lots of joy (that is not in any way truncated) ,

    femme 

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited October 2008

    Wow, that's the best news I've heard all week! Congrats, Annie. Get that bubble of scum out of you and celebrate being clean, clean clean!

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited October 2008

    Annie, that is such wonderful news!

    I was hoping for your sake that you would be able to add Bluebell Ice Cream to your diet as a staple.  Isn't weight gain (or being overweight) a bigger risk for ER+ tumors than for triple-neg?  Even so, I guess it's not a good idea to try to gain belly fat just so you have a donor site for a TRAM/DIEP/whatever.

    I hope you find a recon strategy that you're happy with.  In the meantime, it's one step at a time.  Get that nasty lump outta there.

    otter 

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