I think I have a problem

Tender,

Would you consider this a regional recurrence or residual disease, based on her BS saying that he "missed" that lymph node?

I read it as it was left in place, the rads killed off the surrounding tissue, and hopefully imobilized and contained the cancer cells that were in the node...

That is my hope  - 

it is possible, don't you think?

hugs

g

(((ANNIE))))

Do you have any Xanax or ativan in the house?

Yes you can go on. You will just have to change your signature line to 1/19 nodes.

I believe you have residual disease which is doctor speak for "ooops- missed that one!"

I am not a doctor so I don't know.

But I am someone who started out with TN and then got redx'd with ER/PR+ LOBULAR of all things.

One foot in front of the other. We have your hands. We are walking next to you, behind you, ahead of you, and we will get you through each step. Close your eyes. Can you feel us?

((((BIG HUGS))))

g

Annie

 NO!!!!  You are NOWHERE near the end of this fight!  You will do another round, kick some more cancer ass and go on to be fine!!!!

One good thing to think about, there were a lot of DEAD cells in/around the node.  That means that something you did (chemo? Rads?  can't remember what treatment you had....call me clueless) killed a boat-load of cancer cells they were not even aimed at.  Now they know where the little suckers are they can kill them dead.

I know you feel like you have been sucker punched, and just the bleeding episode would have me heading for the valium bottle.....but you CAN do this.  Take a few days.  Get your feet back under you.  get the tests to help you know exactly where you stand.  Let us know the score, and we will ge ready to help you kick cancer's butt again.

Love Ya

Deb C

Annie, I feel such strength when I read your posts.  Cancer doesn't have a chance against such determination.  Put your boxing gloves on......we will be cheering you on.  Sending you a big dose of hope, faith and love.  Hang in there.

Oh, wow -- just logged on for the first time today.  Like Sushanna, I'm repeating a four-letter word.

You haven't done rads yet, right?  Was that scheduled to start soon?

Tender, Gina and Deb all sound right on to me.  Residual, not recurrence.

Please feel all of us with you.  Love you. 

Annie,

I remember when I found I my SNB was positive. I had been so "strong" (don't you just hate when people use that word to describe you?) up until that point. I went into shock (again) when I heard it was in my nodes. I came home, got into bed, and my body started shaking from head to toe. Like bouncing up off the bed shaking. Luckily my rat bastard ex-fiance (who was just my plain old boyfriend at the time) was 6'1" and 200 lbs. He literally lied on top of me to stop me from shaking.

I can only imagine how upset you are at your medical team. News of such incompetence, coupled with news of more treatment, is devastating and would make anyone want to take their ball and go home. So, as everyone here already said, let yourself feel those feelings (though take some help from so happy pills if you need to), and I have faith you will get back to your cancer kicking butt self very soon. 

Well, you haven't been all that happy with your team all along.

Are you considering a second opinion, like at one of the national cancer centers, before proceeding?

Annie - you are SO WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES.  Start expecting your world to meet YOUR needs - you are certainly entitled.

Aw, crap, Annie.  You know we were all silently chanting, "seroma, seroma, seroma."

Ditto what everyone else has said here.  The fact that there were dead cells surrounding those live cells is a good thing--the necrotic layer probably kept the live cells from growing and escaping.  OTOH, it is infuriating when we trust our docs to do their best, and they mess up.  All I can imagine is that your surgeon missed that LN because it looked so much like the fatty tissue (the "axillary fat pad") in which it was embedded.  Still, it would have been so much better if he had been able to tell you there were no lymph nodes--much less cancer cells--left in there.

OK.  Deep breath.  You've had a lumpectomy, so you would be getting rads anyway, right?  Rads directed at the axillary area would be standard procedure for a woman with multiple positive nodes.  Any local escapees can be zapped that way.

The mast you have planned will take out any residual tumor cells that might have been missed with the lumpectomy.  There is also the option of having a few rounds of "regular" (post-surgery) adjuvant chemo, for systemic clean-up.  Nancy did that--her chemo was split between neoadjuvant and regular adjuvant scheduling.

And, as Sue (ICanDoThis) mentioned, you also have the option of going to a larger cancer center for a 2nd opinion and possible follow-up care.  I'm visiting family members in Oklahoma right now, and we drive right by the Tulsa "Cancer Treatment Centers of America" hospital every day.  I'm not suggesting you go there, although I know you were thinking about it at one time.  It might be a good idea, though, to ask for a referral to a larger, NCI-designated cancer center--perhaps MD Anderson, since you are in the same state anyway.  If I were you, that's what I would do, ASAP.

Whatever you decide, there will be lots of BCO women walking right alongside you, steadying you and holding your hand.

otter 

{{{{Hugs}}}

Annie,

I haven't posted to you much (I think we hang out in different places) but from what I've seen of you, you can fight like nobody's business. I can't understand what you are feeling, but I can echo what's been said here--one foot in front of the other, and we are all walking with you--together we are strong enough.

This is not the end. It's a little, pissant, annoying delay in being all done with treatment.

Love to you and hugs,

Sue 

Annie,

I am so sorry for your situation and how it has brought you so down.  I have noticed you since I joined here, I read much more than I post.  I do know that we have a similar time frame and the triple negative diagnosis, only I had 10 positive nodes.  I am not sure of the specifics of your surgery or treatment.

I was so clueless when I started out.  When they told me I had 10 positive nodes, it truly did not register to me what that meant, then a couple days later I looked up triple negative on-line and I was completely discourged and "down and out".  Then waiting for scan results to see if it had spread was the worst.  That was my lowest point. 

I know how discouraging this is for you, but I have to echo what everyone else is say, thank God is it not a "recurrent".  I know I felt better when you said it was residual, because I thought if it could come back to you so fast, I could very easily be in the same predicament at any time. 

Please hang in there and keep fighting.  My cousin, who is a hospice volunteer, gave me a book by Bernie S. Siegel, MD called "Love, Medicine & Miracles".  I do not know if you or others are familar with his books, but I am finding it to be very inspirational.

Take care, and please hang in there.

Lisa

Annie, If it had to come back this is a good place.  Zap & Cut and move on.  Hang in there we know you have it in you to finish this journey with flying colors.

May peace be with you.

Flalady

Annie, I just got caught up on your problem. sorry to hear that they didn't get that stubborn node out. My mom was not TN but had 15 nodes removed and had 8 positive in 2001. She did the chemo and rads and is doing great. We are all here to support you like the herd of elephants. I guess you will need to change your name to Annie Elephant tail now.

I will gladly give you part of my belly fat for your new boob! I wish my doctors would tell me to eat Blue Bell Ice cream and gain weight, all they tell me is you need to lose some weight!

Sheila

My elephant sisters have gotten me through a lot! Thinking about that story always makes me feel strong and cherished. I try to share it when appropriate.

And I, too, would love to donate some belly fat to your cause! LOL

 --CindyMN