Is there someone in your life who is toxic?

Yes, I have some friends like that.   No, you're not the only one.

In fact, I had to dump someone a couple of months ago, and it hurt.  I wanted to be supportive and help her, but she was just too toxic. 

Good luck!
Harley

Shirley,

No, I will NEVER dump you!   You are such a nice person, and a very good friend!

No, this was that girl I told you about, who thought I was trying to help, and be supportive, but I needed her to be supportive of me, too.  Even though my chemo and reconstruction is all finished and it went fairly smoothly, lately I have been having a lot of issues, and it is nice to be able to talk to you and the others here, and know that you understand completely.

... oh, maybe YOU want to dump ME??    I hope not... 

HUGS

Harley 

I had a best friend it seemed forever and she became a very nasty drunk.  That was extremely toxic!  I broke away from that friendship years ago because I couldn't handle her nastiness any longer.  She recently got in touch with me when she heard about my mets and was talking about partying one night and I said, it's been years since I had a drink and she made the comment that I traded my alcohol for drugs.  I was never so angry in my life.  To accuse me of abusing pain meds for my bone mets was really low!  I hung up and have not spoken to her since!

My best friend and I have a wonderful friendship and we support one another.  She has a friend that is sucking her dry.  But it is her business if she wants to continue that relationship.  However, whenever this friend comes to visit (read freeload) I make myself scarce.  I am not trying to punish my friend but I cannot be friends with this person.  Does that count?

Unfortunately, Jill, your situation is not unique.  We have all struggled with this to some extent.

I had a toxic relationship for years until I sat still and realized that they really did not give a s--t about me at all.  After that, I was able to back off.  Just avoid when possible and refuse offers to get together with no explanations necessary.  You don't have to be offensive about it but pleasantly say no.  Sooner or later they will get the hint.  Don't feel guilty about it.

Hi there, you are not alone. I have some friends who before diagnosis I used to keep in touch with. Now that I need to take better care of myself and be surrounded by positive folk I am trying to reduce my friendships with some people. Life is too short to spend time doing things that aren't healthy for you - well that's what I tell myself.

With some people I live in hope that not returning their calls/texts will result in the 'friendship' fading.

Harley, I was just kidding...NO, I'm not ever going to drop you!

I sit here near tears reading some sad things.  Perhaps, not really sad, but necessary.  Sad that people are the way they are.

I was just thinking about one person who was very toxic at one point in my life.  She was the age of my middle dd.  We've only been in touch a few times in the last year..via phone..she lived out of state.  Even though I couldn't take much of her at once I cared deeply about this young, lost soul.  I told her she'd ALWAYS have a special place in my heart.  Just thinking about her...I'm crying again.  She died unexpectedly about three weeks ago...I suspect from a drug overdose.  I miss her.  I will always miss her.  Now, I GOTTA STOP CRYING...need to go to the store..makeups getting all messed up!

LuAnn, what an absolutely HORRIBLE thing this person said to you!

Shirley

Hey all of you! Friendships are made to support and encourage and take care of each other. If all you do is give, then it's not, technically, a 'Friendship', it's a messed up used to be a friendship. So you really aren't losing anything but pain. LORD KNOWS we all need to get rid of that. So, breathe deeply, gather the emotional baggage from that "friend' and let it go up to a far away star and beyond.

Unfortunately, when it's family, it's a whole lot harder. Especially when it's your mother. I've been waiting for this thread since I joined. My mother is not a mothering type. She is very selfish, self-absorbed and high maintenance. Thank God for my sister, she can deal with Mother. Our brother, unfortunately cannot, fortunately for him, he doesn't live here. I do. Have, probably will. And Mom makes me her favorite target for sharp-tongued snips, pointedly rude comments and downright meanness towards me. Everybody else seems to like me OK, what's her problem?

Mom''s a BC survivor too, so you'd like to think there may be a speck of compassion. Wanna know what she said??? really?? OK.. At dinner AFTER they all knew of my dx, we did not discuss it during dinner, afterwards, she asked me to meet her for her doctor appt. and I said, I have to go to my radiation treatments and she shot back... Oh, Been there, done that. That's ALL she has EVER said to me. She doesn't call, invite, chat. IF she ever calls it's always to demand that her need be fulfilled. I had to cut her out of my main life of support and friends and that took a lot of therapy, still does. Hurts too. Good Luck.

~Connie