Has BC made me into a crazy woman?

Dear Doc Annie,

Sorry for the crap you are going through following the rules of the 'system'. This annoyance will teach you how to treat your own patients regardless of their position in life, as long as you remember to treat them as humans and not be degraded as you were like the majority of us have been.

This is how patients are treated and perhaps you can be a pioneer in changing it for the rest of us.

Dr. Annie Camel tail/breath, you are not crazy. If I had spent that much time getting a degree I too would want that recognition. Have you tried addressing your doctors as Mr. so & so?

I too would get frustrated when they would schedule appointments for me without checking the schedule that I had given them. I got a card that it was time for my eye exam and the appointment was already made. I checked and the appointment was not a full 365 days after my appointment last year and my insurance would not cover it until it a full year had passed. It was also time for my hubby and he is a long haul trucker, he is only home certain days of the week so I had to call and reschedule both appointments.

Sheila

Dr. Annie, have you ever stated "I would prefer that you address me as Dr. Camel Breath, please" directly to any of the staff?  Or, "David, nothing personal, but I would prefer that you address me as Dr. Camel Breath and I will address you as Dr. Jones.  We have both worked long and hard to earn our titles, and I think using them will improve our professional relationship."  One can do this quite nicely, with a smile, and it is effective. 

And if someone forgets and you feel nice and nasty that day, when they address you as "Annie" state clearly "It's Dr. Camel Breath, to you."

Take affirmative action my dear to take back what this beast has taken from you for the moment, and I think nicely insisting you be referred to as Dr. Camel Breath is a great first step. 

As for this appointment scheduling 300 miles away, I am speechless. 

Geesh--you might start by having a friend (or one of your assistants) call and say "This is Dr. Camel Breath's secretary and she is unable to make the appointment you have scheduled for such and such date due to professional engagements.   She will be available for an appointment at that destination on any Friday between such and such when given three days notice."

Annie, I feel that a year ago I was so shell shocked by all this I allowed a lot of people to treat me in a manner that I will no longer tolerate.  I guess that is part of getting our "gusto" back that bc tried to take away.  It will happen to you also.   

Indeed Annie, it is better for them to be terrified and watch their p's and q's and know you are someone to be reckoned with, period.  You can get into anyone's face very appropriately, as long as you smile and are polite, you can still terrify them.  And always come accross as two steps up from them socially and intellectually, which you know you are.  And if feels so good!!!!!

he he he--I always get it in there that my hubby and two sons are lawyers and want to read anything before I sign it.  I would highly recommend you sneak something like that in--son, nephew, etc.--believe me, they take mental note of it.

I have had some real shit treatment through this all--the latest being a mistake on my pathology report I just found out about--I called the pathologist this morning and was told she does not speak to patieints.  When I told the woman who answered the phone about the mistake, I told her I expected a call from the pathologist this morning and it was not negotiable.  Lo and behold, the pathologist called me this morning and thanked me for picking up the mistake and said that she would issue an amended report.  I said don't thank me, Fed Ex all my slides to Dr. so and so at NYUMC and she will re-read them and issue her own report.   She said she wanted to re cut the slides and redo the pathology again herself, then issue a new report, and then would send them off to NYUMC.  I think she is a little afraid of me.  Good,

Now, they are all dealing with me on a whole different level than the frightened, trusting breast cancer patient I was a little over a year ago at my diagnosis. 

And I picked up all my files and films from my old breast surgeon, and cancelled my appointmnet with her.  Speaking with our daughter (who is an M.D.) I said should I tell her why I am giving her the boot?  She said no, just go get your stuff and let her worry for two and a half years (statute of limitations) about whether you are going to sue her or not. (sorry for the hijack!)

You go girl, not a crazy person, but Annie with the strength of a Camel to be respected and reckoned with.

What they said.

The bitch is back - stone cold sober, as a matter of fact. [Thank you, Elton John]

I'm an adult, I had a brief period of time when I accepted being treated like a child, but that is so over.

I switched oncologists, and she will do all my follow-up - no more patronizing, uncommunicative doctors.  My doctor does an exam, leaves, and then knocks before re-entering and we talk.

And when I have a question, she answers me - she doesn't brush me off, and her staff takes my questions seriously.

Feels better, and is an important step at making my "new normal" feel safe.

Kerry, I love this statement:  "Cancer has only borrowed our self-respect. Loan's due."

That is the key to all this, isn't it?   Not only does this dx shove us into the maelstrom* of high-end medical care, but all the poking, squeezing, cutting, bleeding, burning, and swelling, is in a part of our body that has strong personal and cultural significance.  Earlier this week, I was at a PT/LE therapy clinic for evaluation of an early case of LE.  At one point during the assessment, the therapist told me, "OK, now I need you to take your top off."  Without hesitation, I took off my shirt and bra, and sat there nekkid from the waist up.  Turns out, she meant my top--not my bra.  Oops.  Oh, well.

We get so accustomed to baring our chests (and/or remaining breasts) to strangers--repeatedly--that the dignity and self-respect are long gone.

I want mine back.  Annie wants hers, too.  And Kerry, and Sue, and Jane, and every other woman here--we want it back NOW.

otter 

*maelstrom:  OK, Annie, this one's for you. What's the derivation of that word?  Is it Dutch, or Nordic, or what?

Actually, Annie, I think my oncologist may just be a function of what Ann Arbor is like.

I originally went to a large system in Detroit metro area - that's where I was originally diagnosed. I was really too afraid to look for the right practice for me, and proceeded with they suggested, but I was very unhappy. In the meantime, I asked my female support network (I'm a girl alcoholic, which means that I have an amazing support network of women of all ages within one or two degrees of separation). The same name kept showing up, and I went to my allergist, and it turned out that she used the same oncologist.

This is how my onc runs her practice - it sounds just like one of those articles in Mamm, doesn't it?

I am very much an Ann Arborite, and this is why.