What to do for friend

I loved funny cards about coping.  The heavy, get-well cards were kinda downers for me especially as I didn't (don't) know if I will get well.  And the religious ones didn't work either as I was at the angry  stage.  WHY ME????

 Phone calls can catch someone off guard,  but a card or a note saying "thinking of you" is really nice.

I would take a meal.  Funny cards.  new nightgown, a good book, come in with extra time and dust her house and vacuum. go to the store for her, one of those thingys where you listen to the ocean,  nothing that smells though, with chemo so many smells make you sick.  I really appreciated when I got real fruit strawberry popcicles.  Not all at one time of course but space it out.  One lady made me  quilt and had my co workers sign the white squares and that to this day is so special!!! One of those kids toy dogs that come with markers and get all her friends to sign it.  These are just some ideas.

Don't overlook flowers or a blooming plant.  I always find them uplifting, and they really can say, "We care and are thinking about you."   If you live nearby, some of the nicest surprises I've received were baskets left at my door.   One that arrived shortly after I got home from the hospital after my lumpectomy had a large container of homemade soup, homemade bread, homemade cookies, and a few other things I can't recall right now.  Another basket that was left a few days before my mastectomy had all sorts of comfort goodies -- slippers, a large hot/cold wrap, an eye gel pack, lotion, a massage roller, and half a dozen other feel good things.      Deanna 

Three of my neighbours took turns bringing us meals the day of chemo and for a few days after.  It was so nice to come home from the hospital and not have to worry about cooking; plus we got to try things that we wouldn't normally have had.

Some of my high school friends came over and took me out for lunch.  When one isn't feeling great there isn't much energy of activation but if someone invites you out it gives you something to look forward to.  They always checked with me to see when I would be feeling well enough to go out.

Radiation made me so tired - the best thing my friends did for me when I was going through it was to come over on a Saturday afternoon and clean my apartment while I slept on the couch.  They knew the dust bunnies were driving me crazy but I was too tired to vacuum most of the time.  After they were done, we ordered Thai food and watched girl movies (that they also brought over) - it was great.

During chemo, my best friend was my spokesperson and my coordinator - she made it known that she would let our large social circle know what was going on so that I wouldn't exhaust myself trying to return calls or emails, and she made sure that I had a ride to and from each chemo, since I don't drive.  She was - I mean, IS - great!

The best thing you can do is stick around - even if your friend doesn't answer your calls or emails right away, just keep reaching out to her.  It will mean more to her than you will ever know!

Everyone has some really great ideas. I agree with them all. The little things can make such a difference. Prayer is the most powerful gift. So you on the right path. One thing I did think about is Chemo Angels. http://www.chemoangels.com/ You can sign your friend up. Each week 2 angels will send her a card along with something special in the mail. They have really helped me a lot through my cancer. Sometimes when you are having one of those days, and next thing you know there is mail for you. It is a chemo angel. It makes such a difference. I email my chemo angels now. I am so happy that I have them. You are a great friend. We need friends like you around. It is a good feeling to be supported. I wish your friend the best. You have come to a great place.

Blessings;Elizabeth

Try to find something that is not so serious (like an emotional card). They might already be feeling sad, angry, or fearful feelings and a gift like that can add to all of that. Try to be positive and uplifting. A gag gift or a funny card could help.