Advice on how to help

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kro30
kro30 Member Posts: 14
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello,

 My mom finds out the results of her biopsy tomorrow, although both radiologist who reviewed her reports stated that it was BC. We're all sitting and waiting and I don't know what to do for her. Her mammogram was crystal clear in January. I am completely new to this entire disease and looking for any tricks that helped you with your loved one, helped you with your own life or just anything that relieves the constant anxiety. Thanks

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited September 2008

    Distraction.  Doing anything with her to keep her mind off it.  Listening and acknowledging when she voices concerns, and realize she is going to go through all the stages of grief such as denial, anger, acceptance and so on. Those stages will overlap one another and repeat and just be there to listen and offer a hug or word of encourage when she needs it.  Sometimes though, just listening is all she'll need. 

    Please though...don't use the old 'cliches' as she'll be okay or such, b/c no one knows and it's not somethign that will help. What will help is you being there and letting her know you will be there and help as you can. IF she has to get surgery and/ or treatments, there will be a lot more you can do physically then.

    For now...listen...accept her feelings and let her rant, rave, cry or laugh, or just run away from it all to do shopping or gardening or whatever she uses to relieve stress....do it with her. That is what she needs.

    and thank you for asking and for being there for her.  She'll appreciate it, but never ASK for it!

    Prayers she gets a B9 Result, but if not...introduce to her to the website and let her join too!

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  • kro30
    kro30 Member Posts: 14
    edited September 2008

    Thank you - I would love to have more advice tomorrow night if needed. Please pray that she doesn't need it and that she's ok. This is a great place.

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