Dare to be breastless?

I have only been breastless since last November, but so far it has been fine.  My husband was talking about reconstruction until he saw a video about the procedure. He never mentioned it again.  Of course, there is some sense of loss, but I was glad to be done with the treatment so quickly.  Mostly, I am just glad to be alive and healthy right now.

I have had no reconstruction since my bilaterals (june 07).

My DH was horrified when he, like your hub, Lolita, saw what it entailed.

I can't add more----yes, there are some days when it hits me and I am very wistful for my boobs back (I too was large breasted.  It got me lots of attention, gave me confidence and I had very sexually responsive boobs), but the majority of the time, I don't give it a second thought.  I am grateful I could avoid the rads.  I am hopeful that mastectomy has significantly reduced my risk of recurrence plus am grateful no more "checkups" to attend to.

 I go around flat all the time.  I've never even purchased a form/bra and figure this is one benefit of surgery...NO MORE BRAS!!  Jogging, boating, biking are all so much easier.

Best to you with your decision.

aikenberry, I, too, ask myself that same question:  "What if cancer develops in the right breast?"

I had a left mast/SNB without recon in Feb. '08.  At the time, I never even considered doing anything with my right breast, because mammography, ultrasound, and MRI indicated there was nothing suspicious there.  Will there be something, some day?  Will I regret the decision to keep that healthy breast?  Possibly; but at this time (7 months post-surgery), I'm fine with keeping it.  OTOH, my breasts were small--just 34/36 A; so reduction or rearrangement was never an issue.  (OK, maybe breast augmentation...but that's just not me!).

As for whether or not you should have recon ... that decision should be yours.  Yes, I know, our guys might think they own our boobs, or at least rent them.  In reality, we're the ones who have to deal with all the breast issues (constriction, jiggling, judicious exposure, proper concealment, bra discomfort, whatever ... and BC of course).

I had to laugh at Lolita's comment:  "My husband was talking about reconstruction until he saw a video about the procedure. He never mentioned it again."  My breast/onco surgeon referred me to a PS so I could learn about recon options.  My husband and I went to the PS consult together.  After seeing some photos and diagrams and watching a video, my husband walked out of there shaking his head.  I asked him what he thought, and he said, "You'll never do that."  He was right; but I think he meant he would never do that if he was the one making the decision.  He is a minimalist when it comes to medical care, especially surgery.  He didn't even want me to have a mastectomy--mostly because he thought a lumpectomy/rads would be simpler.  (I had the mast anyway.)

So, "dare to be breastless"?  I'm breastless on the left side as I type this.  Heck, I'm bra-less most of the time, these days.  I'm always on the lookout for a comfy, soft-banded (LE issues), wide-strapped, size-A bra, to wear when I "need" a bra.  Otherwise, life is good.

otter 

aikenberry,

I had a bilateral mx in early July. I haven't purchased any prosthess (except the soft fluff-filled ones that came with my Softee Two camisole). I'm feeling strongly that I will have recon but am currently having radiation tx, so I will wait until that's done and then consult a ps.

Since I plan to have recon, I'm not going to invest in any expensive prosthesis. I have been trying to wear clothes that camoflage my breatlessness, wearing blouses with ruffles and jackets, but it's been hard in the summer heat. And certain clothes just drape better with breasts. I'm hoping when the weather cools, and I can wear more layers, that my flatness will be less evident.

When my rads are done and I can wear a bra again (they told me not to while having the radiaiton), I have an "occasional" solution for the clothes that need a breast formation to look right. But I will probably be confusing a lot of people as I go from flat to busty, to flat depending on my clothing, LOL.

aikenberry - to answer your question on considering a reduction on good breast - no i never did consider that. Right from the beginning I felt that would not work for me.  Plus some types tend to present themselves in the other breast more often and i had that type so that helped my decision.  I wear the prosthesis from morning to night with no discomfort so as far as that is concerned it' s very easy.   PM me if you want.

Hi Aikenberry.  The decisions we face are hard and also very individual to our own personal perspective and circumstances.  I had my first breast cancer in 2000 at the age of 47 and opted for a lumpectomy, chemo and rads at that time.  Five years later I had a new primary tumor in the other breast which was much more locally advanced so I decided that bilateral mastectomy was the best option for me. I also knew that I really was not interested in further surgeries for reconstruction, not only because I had extensive radiation, lymphedema and was at high risk for recurrence, but also because I felt I had already given enough of my life to the cancer treatments.

The thought of going through additional surgeries and the accompanying risks of complications or failure was more than I could envision to be in my best interests.  I was more interested in healing, getting further away from treatment side effects, and getting back to a life that did not completely revolve around cancer.  I have not regretted that decision.  In fact I find that going flat has its own benefits in convenience and comfort, both of which rank high on my list nowadays. 

 I would highly recommend you check out our own Barb's site BreastFree.org which has a wealth of information about the choice to not reconstruct but to either go flat or use prosthesis.  There are personal stories, lots of bra, swimsuit and clothing recommendations, along with pics to help you decide if a non-reconstructed chest is for you.  You can find the site here:

http://www.breastfree.org/ 

There was also a thread I started some time ago regarding my decision to go flat without wearing a prosthesis which included comparative pics. You can find it here in addition to the BreastFree site: 

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/82/topic/610613?page=1#post_611232 

Bottom line is you need to do what is right for YOU!  Others, including your husband may have valuable input, but it is what YOU feel is the best choice to help you progress in the process of healing, both physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Don't let others talk you into something you really don't want to do.

Best wishes for your chosen path and speedy return to a life not controlled by cancer.

My husband wanted me to have reconstruction. He didn't see the videos though perhaps if he had, he wouldn't have had that opinion. I wanted reconstruction too. I tried, but after almost a year of failed attempts, I gave up. I didn't want it THAT much.

The truth is that now that I am used to wearing a prosthesis, it is much more like my old breast than the implant ever was. An implant does not move like a breast. When you lie down or do yoga back bends, it sticks out like a softball. Very embarassing and feels really weird. I also don't think there are many women who look natural naked after reconstruction. My reconstructed breast looked pretty gruesome. Personally, I think the flat chest looks aesthetically better and there's really nothing to explain. Reconstruction can look like a botched boob job whereas a flat chest is obviously a mastectomy. Reconstruction is really just a substitute for a prosthesis, not a substitute for a breast.

I agree with TammyLou that it was nice not to have to remember to put on my prosthesis. However, for me, the downsides of that implant outweighed the downside of putting on my prosthesis every morning. Also, I didn't want to use my own tissue because that would require disfiguring another part of my body in addition to the long recovery time.

It's a very personal decision. Just wanted you to hear my experience since I have seen both sides.

 Hugs, Susan

Hi Ru,

Yeah..I have that problem. My left breast is really big and heavy and so is my right breast-form. They feel the same weight, but they mustn't be. That painful spot..I got rid of mine last week by going to a brilliant physio. The problem was down around the shoulder and shoulder-blade area. It felt so good to get it fixed. I'll be going back if it happens again.

I also have similar thoughts about being breastless..if I'd had a double m, instead of a single, I might have seriously considered leaving things alone! 

Thanks. It would be interesting to see how many of us ache in the upper back from having one boob. Hope more chime in.

Terry 

I did bilateral in 04 and opted for no reconstruction.  I have prosthesis but never wear them.  I wore them when I got them for about a year and then they were put in the box and I have not worn them sense.  I like the liberating feeling of being braless and boobless I suppose and its much more comfortable.  Everybody has their own thoughts and opinions though and we have to listen to our heart.

Amy

I just had my second mastectomy on Tuesday and am REALLY happy with my decision. For the first time since May 2007 I feel comfortable with my body. My new avatar of me burning my hideous mastectomy bra in celebration was taken Thursday. No prostheses for me anymore!

I'm a performance artist wanna be! I can't tell you how fun this was.Maybe it's not too late- you could get some other bras and burn them. Not quite the same I know, but you might enjoy it.

And if you are like me, MariaG, you enjoy having people (men) look you in the eye when talking to you instead of  checking out your chest.