Leaving for a vacation

Yes I did say V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!

Believe it or not, this is my first ever "real" vacation. Have been on holidays in Australia several times to see my best friend I met over the internet 10 years ago but anytime I had to go back here within 10 days or so since taking a long break from work is a very hard thing to do here in Japan unless you work for a major company. But this time, I'm going to New Zealand for entire 18 days. Of course I'm more than excited and could pee in my pants anytime. I'm leaving on this upcoming Wednesday and won't be back till 22nd.

Did I believe there would be time when I could go on a vacation when I was dx'd? Of course not. I'm three years post dx and I didn't even think I'd be here three years later. But here I am, doing the packing and counting down the day I leave. Better yet, I have a lot of beautiful friends who are all getting excited for me. I can't even begin to thank all of you for being there for me whenever I needed you. I know I couldn't have made this happen without you.

I want to tell anyone who is reading this, you may be thinking you're in the darkest tunnel and would never see the light again. But that's plain wrong. Believe me, I was in the darkest place when I was dx'd. The first ever word I heard after dx was "so now do you know when you'll be gone?" from my ex. The second was from my mum putting all the blame on me for not having got a better doctor (I had been mis-dx'd in the previous year). I did three different chemo's before and after surgery but never ever had anyone to go with me. I didn't even take a single day off from work and worked overtime everyday as if nothing had happened. Oh and don't forget the HUGE debt I was in (thanks to my ex and in-laws!).

Things do change. You will see the light no matter how dark it may seem at the moment. So celebrate me for being able to go on a vacation because next time, it will be you. It may not be a vacation but you will soon get something to celebrate.

With much love and gratitude,

Fumi