Way OT but OMG.

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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

I just found out my 20 year old son and his *just* 19 year old girlfriend are pregnant.  I'm trying to get my head around it but find I cannot breathe.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2009

    Both of them???  Just being silly.  Congratulations, grandma!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Wow Peg...that is some NEWS. How are you feeling about this?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    I am profoundly sad Pepper.  They are so young.

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  • BMD
    BMD Member Posts: 1,492
    edited August 2008

    We try and try to teach them but sometimes they just have to learn their own way. Congratulations.

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited August 2008

    I'm sorry that they're in this position and for your sadness. I hope they decide what's in their best interest and this is as painless as possible. I won't say congratulations because it doesn't feel that way to you.

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited August 2008

    Congratulations, but yes, it's so hard when they are young and naive.  Although congrats are in order, I totally understand your OMG!  Even at 25, I still think dd is too young....then get to thinking about this BC and the risks if she waits and then shoot....just ranting too.

    Still I hope it's a healthy baby for them and that you in time can be happy too.  It's sad so young, but then....it's here, no turning back now!  Always was shocked when my sister was glad she had boys and didn't have to worry about this?  I'd think huh?  So, you don't have to worry about the GIRL getting pg, but I think perhaps the BOY is resonsible too?  I told then, that attitude is what makes it difficult for the woman, the boy being raised to not worry about so often.

    So...anyway..it sounds like your boy is being a stand up and going to be involved and supportive as any father would.  And for that, let me say, thank you for raising him right. :)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Well, I always told him that if he ever got someone pregnant it would be BOTH of them pregnant and he would stand by her whatever her decision is.

    They've decided to keep it (eek) and say they have a plan so I guess I will find out what it is tonight. One thing about my son is he always seems to come out on top. 

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  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited August 2008

    Sige hoping things go well tonight for all of you. If they have a plan, it sounds like they've spent a lot of time discussing the options and choosing what they think is best for the both of them.

    I don't know if you will feel like walking on eggshells tonight, or if you get to hav an opinion in all of this, but most important, I know you will support the decision they ultimately make.

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited August 2008

    Good for you in being supportive Sige! That will help in the long run, regardless of thier plans, to know you are behind them, I'm sure.  Good luck tonight!

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  • julz4
    julz4 Member Posts: 2,490
    edited August 2008

    I am right were you were less than a year ago. It is a shock to say the least. When we had our sons it is not what we intended there lifes path to follow. My DH & I took the track of supporting them. Way tough road ahead of them. Hopefully they never have to encounter the problems of my son & DIL have. Wishing you peace & no unforeseen bumps in this journey. ((((Hugs))))

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited August 2008

    Take a deep breath, it will all be okay. My granddaughter is now 14 and I was 38 when I became a grandmother for  first time. My son was 17 , graduated from school and in a relationship with an older gal. They married when He turned 18 and Ashley was born the following spring.

    He was married for 8 years. Now he has sole custody of her, and is doing very well. Makes about 250,000 a year has a beautiful home , and all is fine. He and I had children early. We both are glad, cause you are still young when the children are grown.

    Just don't help to much....He must learn. Now is his time to show you if what you taught him sunk in. I don't think 20 is that young when you think of him as about 31 with a 10 year old....

    And being a grandmother is so cool, it is nothing like it. I have 3 , 2 girls and a boy.....

    Ashley 14

    Photobucket

    Sebastian 20 months

    Photobucket

    Hayden 3 1/2 months (Sebastian's sister.)

    Photobucket

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  • susanmcm
    susanmcm Member Posts: 1,324
    edited August 2008

    Peggy

    those pregnancies that come out of nowhere seem to run in our family also.  Take a deep breath.  It's really out of your control, you know.  hugs and good wishes for you and your expanding family.

     xo

    susan

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Peggy:  Im not sure quite what to say as the news seems to be an unexpected surprise.  But I do know you will make a wonderful grand mother!  So congratulations to you.

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited August 2008

    It will be ok, my son was 18 and his girlfriend 17 when he told me she was pregnant.  He is now 20 and in Iraq and his then girlfriend, now wife is living with me with their TWO children.  They didn't figure out how they made the first baby and three weeks after baby one was born baby number two was on the way.  I love these boys to no end and they have been such a bright light in my life.  My son grew up from being a little thug into a wonderful man and taking care of his responsibilities.  He really loves his sons and wants to spend every minute with them.  Sometimes these things really work out for the best.  Congrats and enjoy every minute of being a grandmother!  It really is the best feeling on earth!

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited August 2008

    P.S. that is my second grandson ben in my avatar with me.  So adorable, just want to squeeze him to death!!!

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  • pinoideae
    pinoideae Member Posts: 1,271
    edited August 2008

    Congrats to you!

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited August 2008

    so glad you are supportive and have taught your son so well.  Sounds like with a plan they are more mature than most at those ages.

    A baby is a huge suprise to all, I'm sure, but it can be the most beautiful suprise known to man/woman.  Deep breath!  then start looking at all those baby clothes you'll want to buy.  I'm gonna have to RENT grandkids.  Nothing in sight for my 39 year old daugh. or 36 yo son.  (sigh)

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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited August 2008

    Peggy, you are being your wonderful self, once again.

    I know it is a shock and you are trying to wrap your head around this.

    On a personal note, I like the idea of the earth having another part of you on it!

    I think if the baby is a boy they definitely  should name him Ned!

    (((Big hugs you hot grannie!)))

    Love,

    g 

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited August 2008

    I think you taught your son very well. Unwanted pregnancies happen. Most of his peers are having sex with or without birth control, which doesn't always work. You sound like you're a great mother and an unwanted pregnancy doesn't change that.

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  • gracejon
    gracejon Member Posts: 972
    edited August 2008

    I can not imagine being in this situation but do know whatever they decide they need friend and family support.  I do know that we personally adopted our son from a couple that had an unplanned pregnancy and could not love him more had we been able to hae kids through our own conception.  Choices are many in this situation but for sure they need to have support whatever they decide.  Thinking of you and sending hugs.

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  • spar2
    spar2 Member Posts: 6,827
    edited September 2008

    Sige, I just sent you a pm

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  • junie
    junie Member Posts: 1,216
    edited September 2008

    Bless your heart, Sige--first you became a member of the club no one wants to join, and now you've become a member of the, "you're WHAT????" club.  As with all things that knock us for a loop--deep breaths and one day, one year at a time...my dau was 17 when she gave me the "you're WHAT?" announcement.   Somehow, it truly does work out; sometimes with lots of ups and downs.  Best wishes to you all.

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  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited September 2008

    On Friday evening I just visited my friend whose 19 yr old son had a baby in February with his 21 year old girlfriend.  What a beautiful baby.  They too were in an uproar when they first found out but they opened their hearts and home to these two children and now everyone is thrilled with a new joy and blessing to love.

    I wish you and your family strength.

    Hugs, Jackie

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  • harleyhoney
    harleyhoney Member Posts: 65
    edited September 2008

    My granddaughter is a "hormone" baby too. My son was 19, his GF was 17. My Granddaughter is almost three now, my son of coarse is not with her Mom but Cassara is the light of my life. Your grandbaby will be yours too!!

    Congratulations!!

    Stacy

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  • NaughtybyNature
    NaughtybyNature Member Posts: 1,448
    edited September 2008

    My dearest Lilly Tomlin... not anymore girl... U are looking HOT!

    I totally understand where U are coming from... it looks like it was yesterday we were sharing pictures of our kids and now... U are going to be a grand-mama and your baby a DAD!

    Congrats.  Good health to all involved.

    Love,

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2009

    Ladies...I would like to introduce "Teagan Iris Anne Martin" born yesterday at 4:50 and weighing in at a whopping 10 POUNDS (mama is my hero...delivered naturally)...

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  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited April 2009

    WOW!  I totally missed this thread...

    CONGRATULATIONS!   What a beautiful baby!!  Glad to hear that Mama and baby are doing fine!

    Hugs

    Harley

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  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited April 2009

    That is one BEAUTIFUL baby!!! Congratulations!!!!

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited April 2009

    Sige...I went through the same thing with my 21 year old son. I was so disappointed and hurt, but what could I do about it? Nothing. My grandson is now 1 year old and looks so much like his dad that it is scary :)

    Your "baby" is beautiful!!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2009

    Seems like there are alot of us in the club!!!!!

    I had my kids at 17 and 19.....both of them had their kids young too.....

    I now am 48 yrs old and the nanna to 6 beautiful little ones.....they range from 16 to 4 and I love them silly...

    It was hard at first to see my babies have to grow up so quickly but Im extremely proud of them.

    And as someone said earily.....its WAY more fun being a grandparent than it ever was being a parent Laughing

    Sige-thats one pretty little girl there!!!!!!

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