Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hi guys,

I went to see the beautician Saturday. Her first comment was "you are very thin on top - we need to get a hairpiece on you." Sounded good to me, but once she put it on me, it looked like a muskrat sitting up there - very wiggy. The next length of hairpiece looked great on me, but I don't have enough hair to support it yet - she said maybe in a year. She does have a product that I can use to stop the breakage on my kinky curls while I'm growing it out, so I'll try that, as that curly stuff is really brittle. She said that I may as well think of myself as having curly hair now, as it looks like what is coming in is as kinky as what's on the ends. That is thanks to chemo. My other problem is that since my hair grew back after chemo it is somewhat thin all over and very, very thin on top. My mother has thin hair now (in her 80's), but didn't at my age, but this lady thinks that it may be a post-menopausal type of thinning hair that is a family trait, and that it just showed up on me now because the chemo knocked out any trace of hormones I had.

Anyway, her suggestion was since I couldn't stand the look of the muskrat, that I try on one of her wigs, and wear one of those until my hair grows out enough to wear one of the longer hairpieces to cover my thinning spot. "If you still want to do the hairpiece," she said. Once I put on the wig, I knew why she said that. It is totally comfortable, light, breathes, you can't even feel it on your head if you touch it!. This is the kind that you can swim in, even. It loves water, is guaranteed for one year, doesn't fade, wear out, break, or damage your own hair. Of course, you pay for all this. You pay quite a bit, in fact. The cyberhair wigs are more expensive than the human hair wigs are, even, but it is the most advanced type of fake hair on the market. Anyway, she said quit cutting my hair, just let it grow out and wear the wig on top.

Larry is in favor, to my suruprise. He understands why I can't go out looking like I do. The curls would be ok if I didn't have the almost bald patch on top of my head. I could maybe manage that too if I had my old thick, slightly wavy hair back. Both together are almost too much - Viddie has seen my natural head, and although she was much to sweet to say anything, I am sure she can back me up here. So, guess I'm going to get a new wig. The one I have is worn out and uncomfortable with all this hair underneath, or I'd keep it. Can't replace it, anyway, they don't make them. I'll try to take a picture tomorrow, so you guys can see. Now that you know me, I'll show you the real me LOL. Before I lost my hair, it looked about like my wig - just a little more waves on humid days. I spent some time on it, but that was the end result.

Skye, I've been a vegetarian for about 17-18 years I think. Just decided I didn't want to eat animals anymore. When we got married, 16 years ago, Larry had also just become a vegetarian, but more for health reasons (and because some chick he dated was one). So that worked out well.

Thanks to Rebecca's hummus, the open wound is nearly closed now - I think it's a matter of a few days now. I hope that means no more dressing changes. Unfortunately, I am afraid I am going to remain lopsided for a long time, if I have to wait until the boob softens up before stage 2. If it ever does. I never thought I'd end up with all these issues regarding my appearance!

Melia, I don't think I'm more nervous now, maybe less, with two exceptions: health issues, of course, and driving, for some reason. I am not as confident in traffic, and I don't know if it has to do with my driving ability or reaction time, or whether it is just related to not feeling safe in general. I do understand why you might be more anxious now, though, after all you have been through this year. I think you are absolutely amazing. And, by the way, don't put off trying Rebecca's hummus. You are the one who brought it up. You'll love the stuff!

Rebecca, glad your new couches are in place - they sound lovely. And it sounds like a good move to use the dining room for living area - most of us don't need formals anymore, anyway, and especially not in a small house.

Skye, I hope you can keep yourself from going nuts over your family situation regarding your mom. I have a similar situation with my sister, and I have to just not get too involved, or I make myself crazy. I don't understand how someone can be raised in the same family as you and come out with such different values and morals...but we all have one in the family tree somewhere. Hope your mom's situation works out ok, and soon.

Robbin, glad you checked in, and hope you're doing better. I'm sure sinus surgery is miserable, but maybe you'll feel a lot better.

Viddie, sorry to hear about Jonathan's job problems. I wouldn't worry so much about him going to Mexico for a couple of months - sounds like fun to me. Of course, that would depend where he's thinking of going. I know parts are dangerous, but many places are safe. I seem to remember you having issues with Mexico before, though - did someone you know have problems there, or something? Anyway, I'm sure he'll be fine and land on his feet, as I know he had a very good foundation. I'm sorry you're overdosed on company - guess that's what happens when you have a cottage in a desirable place. You could always move to Houston - nobody will bother you there!

Tina, I looked at that Jalapeno Pepper color - love it! Over cherry cabinets, it will be so nice. Is it painted yet? We are getting ready to paint our bathroom, but sort of wimped out on the color after one color mistake that was so bad we had to paint over it with primer immediately. I need your decorating eye, I think.

Jan, I'm so glad you're happier with your tattoo now - I figured it would fade out properly, but you never know for sure till it happens. The ones I've seen are great. I think you should definitely go for the nipple ring tattoo - your dh would adjust.

Mary, Lynn, Joni, Sharon, Nancy, Deb.....love you all, but I'd better stop before I get my second wind.

Like you guys want to hear from me again ALREADY...

Just wanted to say to Caya that I'm glad the port is out and that the procedure was easy.    Glad you're feeling well - sounds like you'll need to be on your toes to deal with the crushed carton problem!  The glaze stuff for your hair sounds like a good idea - maybe I'll do that since I'll not be going to the hairdresser much if I buy the wig.   Anyway, glad it went well for you - I thought about you today!

Hey girls,

Stayed up late watching the DNC last night.  I though Michelle Obama did a great job.  She gives a far better speech than Bush.

Rebecca, I thought of you when I got my hair cut last week.  I said I need to do what works for me...and not what I wish it was.  So, I lobbed it all off to the chin, stacked it up in the back and let it go totally curly.  It looks like big hair from teh 80's....I still have a ton of hair, despite it being thinner.  Anyway, when I wear it "big" it doesn't look so mannish on me.  Caya, I've gotta look for that John Freida product.  Sounds like exactly what I need.  Love the shiny factor too.  Glad your port removal was uneventful.

Caya, so glad the port is out. You must feel a great sense of relief. It will allow you to move on, with more comfort.

Mel, I found your explanation of your hair issues very interesting. Kind of sounds genetic, as opposed to "just" chemo, which must have exacerbated it?

Jan, glad your tatto is better. I think a ring sounds great. It just makes me chuckle.

Joni, I miss you. How are you?  Please check in.

Sad day today. Our cousin died two years ago today. She was 58. She was a lifetime smoker, and died from lung cancer. She told all of us that she always knew that was how she would die, just didn't expect it at a young age. So she took full responsibility for the cause of her cancer. She came to older dd's wedding, and every single extended member of the family came too. We had a brunch / party the day after the wedding. Everyone was there. She cried when she left, said she had not cried at all until just then. She knew she was really saying goodbye. She was so brave. She never asked why, she never blamed anything but her own choices. But all of us miss her so much. And I know it was an avoidable cancer, but still, she was a delightful woman, and I miss her. I just wanted to tell all of you, that Ann was a lovely lady, and that the world is a diminished place without her. She was a great  mom, and her two sons are still so lost. Her crummy second husband married two months after her death, and yesterday he filed bankruptcy. She was a wealthy woman, but he burned through all of that. I really miss her, and I am sad that she is gone. She always made me laugh. I felt her presence when I was diagnosed and all through chemo. She stood by me, and gave me courage.

Hi TaTa's,

Sorry I have not been feeling all that great.  I was down just about all last week, and then on Monday I had all kinds of problems.  They could not get my port to work properly, so I was sent to get xrays.  I think the nurse just put the needle in too close to the edge.  Anyways hopefully next week will go better.

I also had to have another bone scan last week, and they took lots of extra pics of my hip (walking with a cane always now).

On a brighter note I only have 10 more sleeps til our Alaskan cruise.  Dan says he'll carry me on if necessary.

When I get back I have an MRI and CT scan scheduled, and then I'll meet with my onc on Sep 19th...should have all the results by then.  He said he could give me the bone scan results, but I said NO not until I get back from my trip.

We are going on a "dog sled run" in Juneau & on the White Pass Railway in Skagway.  Dan is also going on a fishing trip in Icy Point, I'll stay back that day and enjoy the scenery.

Caya, your shoe stories sounds like nightmares.

Lynn, I loved your pics!!

Skye, have you written about "Water Horses"?

Mel, I can relate on the thinning hair...no wait a minute, I don't even have any hair.  I have a bit of peach fuzz but thats it.

RobbinJaye, glad to hear your surgery went well.

Mary, Viddie, Cindy, Nancy, Amera, Jan, Shorti, Debbie, Melia, Rebecca, hope everyone is well. 

Hugs to all....Joni

Joni - I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Good for you for waiting for the results until you get back. I couldn't do it - but I think you are smart to just focus on the trip and enjoy it. I believe Dan will carry you if needed and I know you will have a fantastic time. I am insanely jealous abou your dog sled run and I hope you'll share all of the details with us. Take it easy and rest up until then!

Joni, so good to hear from you.  I hope you get to feeling better soon and that it continues through your cruise.  I join Jan in being insanely jealous of the dog sled run, and actually of the whole cruise, but am so glad you get to go.  Please take lots of pictures, or have someone else take pictures of you guys, so we can share the fun.  And big hugs to Dan for being such a great husband to our Joni.

Melia, I agree that the thinning hair is probably a genetic issue with me, although chemo probably made it occur sooner.  My older aunts and mother didn't get it until their 70's, I don't think.  The kinky, frizzy stuff is definitely a result of the chemo, though.  I took some pics of my head this morning - once I find the instruction book for my camera I'll send them out to you all. 

I got my onc. to write me a script for the wig, so insurance should pay for some of it.  I also got a lymphedema referral, to check to see if the swelling and soreness on my trunk is lymphedema.  They were fortunately able to see me Friday at the M.D.Anderson main hospital, so I'll have that taken care of before vacation.

We are planning to leave here in a week, stop and see my mom and family, then go on to Colorado for a week or two.  That depends on whether or not we get hurricane Gustav in here  - if so we might have to stay home, as stupid as that sounds.  It is always hard to vacation in September - seems like we always are worrying about a tropical storm. 

Skye, glad the evaluation of your mom went well.  I guess that doesn't mean your siblings won't still try something sneaky, but at least she is competent to make her decisions, so you don't have that battle to fight.  Sounds like she hasn't lost her spunk, either. 

Melia, I'm sorry about your cousin - I remember you telling the story about her before.  She must have been a wonderful person to inspire such a tribute from you. 

Guess I'd better get busy doing something productive with my day (like finding that camera instruction book). Later, ladies.

Joni do you mean you actually get to ride a sled pulled by dogs? How super cool is that? Add me to the jealous list but so glad you get that opportunity. I could use a cruise about now! Like Jan I could not have waited for those bone scan results either but agree you are smart to wait, why even think about it til you get back? Thanks for keeping us updated.And yes, I've written about waterhorses, and in fact have to do that for this particular book.



My big dilemma is whether I include the devil in a book about mythical creatures. Believers in several religions believe he's real, but when you see the pix of him as goat-man he looks mythical. I asked my editor and am waiting to hear back.



Mel I'm slowly losing my chemo curl. I'd like it back, made styling my hair much easier. Hope you haveh a wonderful trip.



Caya, big congrats to Amanda, what an exciting time for her. And you. I'm surprised they made her wait til the last minute but better last minute than never, right? Good luck on finding a great place for her. I wish we could afford to send DS2 back to school.



Keep us posted on what you find, Caya! - Skye

I am having so much fun. Have any of you dog lovers read Merle's Door?  I've had it for quite some time and have put off starting it simply in order to put off having it end.  Finally gave in a week or so ago and started it, and it is absolutely my favorite book I can ever remember reading.  Of course, there are a couple of hooks for me - one, Merle looks just like Harrison, and two, he lived in Kelly, Wyoming, which is only a few miles from our property in Idaho, my favorite place in the world.  I know Kelly, I know the roads and rivers and mountains he writes of, and I can see it and smell it and hear it all as the author writes about it.  That is in addition to the wonderful look inside a dog's mind. It just doesn't get much better than this.  

Caya, congrats to Amanda, how wonderful!  And knowing you, you will get everything all done to get her settled - you are one capable lady.   

Oh Caya that is so wonderful!  Give Amanda a huge hug from her fellow teacher and auntie in Edison!  

Joni, count me in on the drooling greenies...I have always wanted to go to Alaska.  Have a wonderful time!  I know that it is hard to wait for test results, but I think you did the right thing.  Do not let anything spoil this cruise.

Skye that is an interesting question...include the devil as a mythical creature?  Hmmmmmm.  I agree that the visuals would suggest that he be included, but including a figure like the devil would suggest to me that you should also include his (ahem) counterpart...which I am not so sure would go over well.  On the other hand, his royal darkness has appeared in many forms with many names in many cultures so I would think that it is an interesting topic indeed.  Tough call.

Melia, I remember you mentioning your cousin before.  There are always those people that make an impression upon us, and even when they are gone they are still with us.  It sounds like she is one of those.  Her bravery and sense of responsiblity is absolutely inspiring.  She sounds like a wonderful person, and I am glad that she was able to light your life.

Mel that sounds like a great book!  It is so neat to read books set in places that you know.  Frances and her friends have become immersed in this series of books about Vampires written by Stephanie Meyer.  They are Sooooo into it that I had to read them too, just to make sure it was ok, and so that I would know what they were doing.  They are actually pretty good...there are four books, and I am on #3.  They are fairly standard fare for the genre...rather like the Anne Rice books in some respects, but using highschool kids instead of grownups.  They are a bit smoochey and romantic (like Lestat) but nothing too exotic.  Anyway, if anyone is looking for an escape, these are pretty good.

ok...better get to schoolwork.  a little bit every day and I will be ready (I hope)

Quick check in -

You cannot believe the state of my living room - 1/2 is filled with stuff for Cassie's apt., the other 1/2 for Amanda's (not that she has anything yet, she and DH are driving to Kingston tomorrow to check it out) -  She has a few appointments to see some places, and will also hit the student housing on campus as well. I'm sure something will turn up, if not, she can stay with a couple of friends for a week or two until something is arranged. 

And to top it off at 9 p.m. tomorrow about 30 of her "nearest and dearest" friends will be dropping by for a fond farewell - so it's off to the market to buy some muchies.  Also I whipped up 2 batches of my famous choc. chip cookies - I put the batter in the fridge overnight, I find the cookies bake better when the dough is cold - and will bake tomorrow afternoon. 

Amanda is handling all this rush rush last minute hurry up stuff really well.  She'll be fine, and Allan and I are so happy that she can do this now and not have to re-apply for next year.

Joni - I am thinking of you and praying for good results on your scans.  I don't blame you for waiting until after your trip to get results. 

Skye - Sounds like you haven't been feeling that great yourself - Please rest up and take of yourself, isn't you DS's wedding next Saturday?

Mary, I'm with you, I don't miss my period one bit.

hugs to all,

Caya

Debbie that's so sweet of you to frame my print and put it up. I can't remember if I wrote the title on those but it was "In My Angel Garden." I wish I could go to California for Christmas, anything to get out of here in the winter.



Caya, you are going to be feeling that empty nest again soon, once all that stuff is out of your house and the hubbub is over. Such a fun time! I hope they were successful finding a place today. And yes, my son's wedding is a week from tomorrow, I can hardly believe it! I'm determined not to have fibro for that. They are having a big picnic on the lakefront the day before for out of towners and wedding party and I have to make pasta salad for 50, and maybe some other things. I just hope it doesn't rain. The fibro comes and goes, I was ok yesterday and not great today. Hoping to do the fair tomorrow. Dh came home from his camping trip and we spent almost an hour putting together a big pan of whole grain lasagna....new recipe....I'll let you all know how it turns out.



Everyone in the US have a great Labor Day, and Caya, Joni, and Sharon too even if you don't celebrate it. - Skye

Skye, the title wasn't written on the back, but you did tell us what you called it. That's why I wanted to put it with my other angels by the bed. I need as many angels watching over me as I can get. I hope you have a good week leading up to the wedding and that you can relax and enjoy the festivies. When we lived in Wisconsin we tried to wait until February to go to California; when we went for Christmas, there was too much winter left when we got home.

Tina, I hope the kids' schools appreciate you. Hopefully you will know when to say "no" if you can't do it all. Once you volunteer for something it seems like you get stuck with it forever. I volunteered to do the scrapbook for my Water Aerobics class lunches 3 years ago and I'm still doing it most months. One other lady takes it when I can't do it or need a break.

I hadn't heard the latest on that Casey Anthony. I guess letting her out of jail didn't make her start talking. When you hear a story like this you just wonder "why."

Oh Tina I am ROTFL with your comments on Sarah Palin - and you are so right!!  I bet she will get a makeover during the coming weeks, As I am not American, I don't usually comment on US politics, but it seems to me that she has very little experience (governor of Alaska for less than 2 years) - I mean, she could become President, McCain is 72 for heaven's sake - Is she really ready to be the leader of biggest superpower on earth?  JMHO...

Allan and Amanda had a very successful day in Kingston yesterdy - she went into the faulty of Ed., met the administrator and one of the faculty advisors and they helped her do her timetable.  And then they went apt. hopping and found a place.  It's a 4 bedroom apt., one 15 minute bus ride from the campus.  She knows one of the other girls. a PHD student.  They are in the midst of renovating all the bedrooms, so she will have new carpeting, fresh paint etc.  She can't actually get into it until next Thursday because of the renovations, so tomorrow we will drive to Kingston with a bunch of duffel bags with her clothes, linens etc.  She is going to stay at a friend's apt. very nearby for the 4 days, and then on Thursday we'll drive back in with a chest of drawers and a bed, some other stuff.  It will be hectic (did I mention that Monday afternoon, Labour Day, we have to move Cassie's stuff down to her apt. in the afternoon).

Oh and BTW, we had about 30 kids show up last night for a goodbye/good luck party for Amanda, I think some of the kids were here until after 2:00 a.m.- OY!

Luckily I still have Atiman in supply...

I totally agree with you guys about McCain's choice.  Did you hear her say "what, exactly, does a vice president do all day?"?  I think every time she opens her mouth she's going to dig herself into a deeper hole, but if they don't let her talk then where's the benefit of picking a woman? 

Boy, Caya, things are moving fast for you, aren't they?  Your nest will be empty before you know it!  Glad Amanda found a place, and that she can start with new carpet and paint - so much nicer and fresher.

Skye, what can you do to NOT have fibro the day of the wedding - anything that helps?  Does the weather affect it?   I do hope you'll be feeling your best next week and can enjoy the festivities.

I woke up yesterday and today to the sound of roofers pounding around on the roof.  With at tropical storm coming, finally they got around to doing the roof!  Actually, they are doing half the roof.  Not sure what we'll do about the other half....

Had my lymphedema consult at MDA yesterday.  I have moderate loss of movement since a year ago, but really no increase in arm size at all.  Mostly smaller except for one of the measurements.  He did give me a sleeve and glove, for car and plane trips and heavy work and I have an appointment Monday to learn the manual lymphatic drainage.  But overall, I'm ok except for the stiffness.

Am going to go take another look at the wig this afternoon.  Then I guess I'll come home and start getting organized for our trip.  Larry said last night that if I was nervous about a hurricane, I could go on ahead with Harrison and stay at my mom's, and then he could meet me there and we could go on to Colorado.  That sounds like a good idea, so I may do that if the storm looks like it's coming our way.

Better get busy - hope you all have a great weekend.  Sharon, Nancy, Amera....you guys need to check in!