Is your pet seeing you through this?
Hi all. I was posting about something else in Moving Beyond forum, and the subject turned to dogs because of my avatar.
We got our male dog "Aldo" right smack in the middle of chemo. Friends thought we were crazy. But, my husband, a strong silent type would visit me in the hospital after mastectomy (I stayed for two weeks), and come home to a little white fluffball staring at him with big eyes.
The house was not empty. He later confessed how much it helped him through.
My three are a blessing in ways I couldn't have ever imagined. I was never a dog person. Never owned one until chemo. They made me walk when I didn't want to leave the house, got me up to play with them using my arm that hurt, cuddled with me and let me feel their steady, even breathing when I was anxious. We weren't able to have children after diagnosis and we had waited to long before diagnosis (we were both married at 35 and spent a few years with our business first...) so, in a way, this filled our house with joy.
Granted, it's not for everyone, but I wish I had more words about how much of a godsend they were to the two of us throughout the entire experience and beyond. Just curious if anyone else if having this experience, or maybe the reverse - was it too difficult to care for you animal?
Leanne
Comments
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Oh my goodness, yes. Our little chihuahua mix has been wonderful - snuggling right by me when I couldn't get out of bed, and pulling off impossibly cute antics when I needed a laugh. The cat has also been wonderful, although we finally had to lock him out of the bedroom at night because he kept coming into the bedroom several times a night to check on me and rub his face on mine. Very sweet, but not condusive to a night's sleep.
I think they've been a support to dh as well - he could play with them or just have them curl up with him during the times when I was the most out of it, and it gave him some comfort as well as relieved the loneliness.
We started out with 2 dogs and 2 cats, but the eldest dog and cat died during my chemo. They were both 20 so it wasn't unexpected, but it came at a tough time. I was so foggy during chemo that I don't feel that I really got a chance to mourn either of them properly. We sat the other two down and gave them strict "No Dying Allowed" orders.
We did have a friend take both dogs to her house for the first week after my bilat, but that was mostly because it was a lot of trouble cleaning up after the older dog (at 20, housebreaking was pretty much a thing of the past). We may have our friend take the chihuahua for the first couple of nights after I come home from reconstruction this fall, but other than that, it's been no trouble to take care of them.
And how can you not get your spirits raised when you look into those soulful little eyes?
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Deja (my Avatar) has been wonderful! She even knew when I got home from the hospital after my bm that she had to be careful & not lay on top of mom. And she is a big cuddler- so this was neat that she sensed it on her own. I do make time for walks with her & sit outside with her more then I have before.
I got tired of TV & reading right away in my recovery...So I just laid on the couch & Deja sat next to me.
I did walk her before I had energy to do anything else. Granted my dd had to come along (she always walks with us anyways) But I could not hold Dejas leash for some time after my surgery. 60# of an excited dog.
And this really surprised me...I know about therapy dogs & how good & Important they are.
When I came home from the Hospital I was in too much pain & nothing could control it for weeks.
Petting Deja has never felt so good. It was like she took some of the pain away. I understand even more now how important therapy dogs can be.
When I pet her now...Its back to how she felt before my surgery.
I have had several wonderful dogs who have been there when I needed them because of a tragedy in my life.....I had an Angel dog named Jade...
Pam
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I really feel that my kitty and my golden both helped get me through chemo. No matter what time of day or night, they were always there right by my side. It is like they knew something was "wrong with mom". There is nothing like a purring kitty to calm you! I just don't know what I would do without them
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What a great conversation!!! I am so grateful for my dog Casey. He's a beautfiul red and white shih tzu that turned one just a couple days before my mammagram. When I was sick through my treatments he was always at my side. I spent some days in bed and he would jump up give me a kiss, stare at me for a while, take off to see what excitement he missed and then come back and start all over again.
We had a black and white shih tzu named Nicky who I loved dearly. He developed heart failure 3 years ago and for the next 2 years he was my focus. I took good care of him, giving him his meds, constantly checking on him. I worried all the time and lost so much sleep, something I was strong enough to handle at the time. We lost him 3 days after Christmas 06 just a little over a year before I was diagnosised with BC. I can't tell you how many times I thought about how I wouldn't have been able to handle his care while being so sick from my treatments. God does indeed know what he's doing.
Casey could never replace Nicky, but he's been there for me through all this and I love him just as much. I hope to have many, many years of being there for him through walks and playtime. Thank you God for getting me through my chemo ( last tx 12 days ago) and thank you for my family and my Casey. Mary
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My dogs have been a blessing. What comfort to have a buddy in the bed or on couch with you when you don't feel well. They make you get up and move when you don't want too. They made me go for walks. I lost one of my babies during a very hard time in treatment. I have been looking for another dog,..I know everyone thinks I'm crazy but I don't care. I may rescue a dog this time that is a little older and not in the best of health like me. That will give me something else to worry about than myself all the time:) It's a reminder that I may not be perfect but I still have love to give and receive. Flalady
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Oh what a wonderful topic. I had bc last year and my son's black lab that we are now taking care of was a blessing to have. Jack (his name) gave me unconditional love and support when I was not feeling well. He really helped me when my depression was so bad that I could not focus on anything. He never left my side. It was like he knew that I needed him to watch over me. Just petting him gave me comfort and inner peace inside.
Animals are the best therapy medicine there is. That's why there are therapy dogs for stroke victims or for people who need comforting. I am so glad that we have our baby Jack!!
To everyone remember to be healthy..be happy..and love your pets.
Blackjack
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Oh, I have to agree with this posting! First, I lost a beloved cat I had for 12 years this past year(my child) Pls. dont think I'm a nut. "Romeo," my white persian, was the love of my life and my buddy- all the time next to me comforting me thru everything. We had this special connection. I feel he led me to my finding my lump in my breast. I had a crucifix /creamation pendant made after he passed and wore it on my neck with his ashes in it -first time I had ever done such a thing- it brought me comfort and the cross was for my love of God and for my ashes of my beloved Romeo inside it - both to keep me safe and connected
my little guardian angel - I didnt want to forget him. Well, I was watching TV one night and I had recently lost my "Romeo" and was thinking about him and talking to him I would usually hold the pendant in my hand, while around my neck, and talk to him in my thoughts (silently ofcourse . I had never before worn a "regular" necklace. One night I was grieving, and as completely weird as this may sound, I truly believe he led me to find my lump. ... (I had never gone for a mammogram (threw away a prescript. for mammo every year for seven years!), didn't think it pertained to me! - never did a breast exam, had no family history, healthy as a horse, fit, ate healthy, 47 - Well, . ..while watching tv, as I said, I would grab hold of the pendant and talk to him. This time, I was laying flat down watching tv and reached for the pendant around my neck which had slid to the side from laying down flat -not knowingly, I clawed gently at my chest trying to locate it - by doing that, I groped my fingers across my chest, and found the lump. Had I not had this necklace on, there would of been no reason to brush my fingers against my chest. I feel in my heart, that he, and God, guided me, and saved my life. I luckily caught it at stage 2, howver in my lympnodes, it could of been worse had I not found it at that point. I know you all must think Im a raving lunatic. I have never written this as I dont want people to think I am crazy but this "pet" posting made me want to share it and I feel in my heart that my pet and god saved my life.Heidi
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Heidi,
Your Romero was and is your guarding angel. Our pets give us unconditional love, support and just plan happiness. Wearing your beloved pet's ashes in a necklace, was meant to be. God works in strange ways..and you meant to find your lump. Are you in tx still? I hope all is well with you.
Remember to be healthy..be happy
Blackjack
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Heidi,
I'm glad folks are finding this topic worthwhile. I'm reading all of the postings. Heidi - I wish I had a penny for everytime I said "really, I'm not nuts," explaining to my friends all of the things my three do for me, or while strolling around 6 am in my pajamas walking all three. Your Romeo, your thoughts of him are special and dear and it's clear you're open to messages from above.
I was wondering if anyone had had any specific troubles. On the flip side, I say I wonder how I would care for all 3 should my health deteriorate one day. I really feel it when my husband is on travel. It's then I think of our single sisters, maybe those with pets that have special needs... I wonder how they make it work.
Thanks for all the wonderful responses!
Leanne
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Heidib,
I meet a young lady a couple weeks who is being treated also for bc. She told me that her cat found her lump. The cat normally laid on her stomach. She noticed that he kept going to a place on her breast, and started doing the little cat thing like they are pumping their mothers milk. She notice it was tender when he did it. After a few times, she felt to see why it was still tender. A there it was a small lump. To say the least...this little guy is very special to her.
Flalady
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Here is my room mate!
This is the face he makes to scare cancer away from the house
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I never had a picture on my posts, but this topic made my decide to show my Casey that I talked about a few posts ago. I love seeing the other pet pictures. Mary
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Sometimes I wonder if our 7 month old French Bulldog puppy is the glue that holds us together.
He was apprehensive when Jordana came back from her surgery, of course she probably still smelled of hospital and iodine. After a few days, be was ultra-clingy, wouldn't be more than 3-4 feet away from her.
"Tucker", like most French bulldogs are typical Clowns. No matter how much of a bad day we have, coming home to him makes it all worthwhile.
Jordana confided in me one night saying, "You know, it's silly, all those other women with BC that have children have something to live for...so they fight harder. I'm worried that if I didn't have you and Tucker, I'd give up a lot easier"
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oh, i wanted to add,
Jordana had a shar-pei that died at 6 years old, in dec of 2005 he was dx with cancer and within three weeks the poor guy had gone down hill and had to be put down.
she had taken his collar (beads) with her into the hospital when she went for surgery.i believe pets are a big part of the healing.
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Just wanted to jump in & say hello. My little guy, Buster, helps me every day. Just looking at him makes me smile & feel good. We don't have human children, but Buster is definitely our kid!!
I love seeing photos of everyone elses pets.
Buster must have sensed that I was talking about him, he just walked into the room, lol.
Take care, JulieR
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Oh my your French bull dog is the cutest thing.
Erin
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Oh my gosh! that french Bulldog is ADORABLE! Not just adorable
I think I now have to download my "Romeo" - my dirtball persian
Heidi
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oh he's a charmer he is.
in the summer Tucker will sleep at the foot of our bed, but in the winter (or while camping) he's known to crawl inside the sheets and sleep along side our torso.
Thankfully Tucker loves my huge camera.
I truly feel he's important to Jordana's recovery, or as a helpful angel to guide her along the way.
even today...friday july 25th, we've taken today off because she has an important (reading results) apointment. before we go, we plan on taking Tucker to the offleash park. seeing him play makes her forget about what she's going through.
My main concern is that she doesn't get stressed. Tucker, now 7 months old, keeps her stress level down. well...except for when he misbehaves...but even then he's cute as hell.
another wonderful thing is that Jordana works in the pet industry (her company makes specialised harnesses) so Tucker goes in to work with her somedays. he loves the office, and plays with the other two small office dogs.
i have a large belief that this helps peoples' health. i wish i could bring him to my office. -
Buster wants to meet Tucker!!!
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I know I agree. I think pets would help so many people. I know non-pet people must be thinking we are nuts!!!!!
I think my next dog will be a french bulldog. There is a dog park here that this ONE (and only) french bulldog is there and has the most hysterical personality!!! And, Im sorry but are they just the CUTEST!! with those little stubby bodies and bat ears! I just love your pics.
I tried to download my persian but had problems w/pics. Will try again.
My pets are little love sponges whom I can cry and talk to about ANYTHING. Im sorry, but that HAS to help me! (what ever works for you huh!!! LOL)
Heidi
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agreed.
I've always talked to my pets, Jordana as well. oh i know they understand words...words like "food" "hungry" "Ball" "walk" and other words pertaining to his own excitement. but i also talk to him about other things, regardless of if he has any idea what i'm saying. it does help. and the dog may not know what you're saying, but the fact you talk to him does streghten that bond.
Others that don't talk to thier pets, i say just try it.
Tucker is the only French bulldog in our dog park too, here in toronto ontario there's a special meetup group with about 20-30 members spaced out over the city and surrounding area. Frenchies are not as common. Tucker normally gets mistaken for a pug (which are never brindle) or a boston terrier. while we were looking for a puppy we were even canvassing breeders in upstate NY, Quebec and Michigan.We're happy we have him.
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Hi all:
What an incredibly sweet thread this is...I believe pets are indeed our guardian angels. Our "main" cat, Emma, an overweight, delicious calido sat on my lap for every chemo. She knew when mom did not feel well. She also "fed" me spitmouse, her grungy, filthy favorite toy to make me get better.
Right after I began chemo a stray black cat started hanging around our house. I for some reason, named him "dumpster dave" as he just looked awful, so thin and sad and I began to feed him. He wouldn't even come near me, but I had to leave food in a bowl then go back inside so he'd eat it. He would growl if i came near him so I didn't. After a few weeks, I could sit on the step about 5 feet away and talk gently to him while he ate. Well, 8 txts of chemo and six months later "dave" (no longer dumpster) is fat, sleek and my shadow. He is now our official "auxilliary" cat. He wont' come inside and won't let me get him into a carrier to get him to the vet, tho I keep on trying. He sleeps on our deck below my br window and I do confess to checking out on him during the night. I don't have to speak, he looks up if I am there and I see his eyes and yes, I tell him I love him, and I don't care how I sound to the neighbors.
II have to get him to the vet, but I won't rest til he's vaccinated and safely ours. Right now we are trying a have a heart trap baited with tuna, crab, or sardines along with pet treats. He shoots out of it the minute it shuts. But I will keep trying.
This guy came when i needed him and he needed me. I'm a little shabby looking myself and I talk to him all the time. If that make me nuts, so be it.
I love the tale of romeo, that is one wonderful cat and yes, they can be our fur children.
OMG is Tucker CUTE!!!
take care all
xoxo
annie
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"If that make me nuts, so be it."
I love that. Well said.
-Rayne
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I just put my "dirt-ball" persian "Romeo" in my avatar. However, I do not know how to post it here but he is now downloaded!!!
He has such a filthy little face -makes him cuter cuz white persians suppose to be regal - not him! He didnt know he was a "persian" Ok... Ill stop the madness.
Heidi
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My cat Sinatra, aka Snot, has been a real blessing through all of this. He is 6 years old but still a kitten at heart. He thinks everything is his own personal playtoy and we sit for hours and play which is a great stress reliever. Since going through all of this, he is my constant shadow, he is sitting at my feet as I type this. He was a rescue kitty that spent his first 4 years locked in a garage. When we took him on, we were afraid that he would never be a lover kitty, but man alive were we wrong. When I sit down, he sits down right next to me or on my lap. When I need to have my pity party, party for one, he lets me pick him up and cry and cry and he just cradles himself into me and tolerates it. If I could only get him to realize that my schedule has changed now that I am only working part-time and I don't have to get up at 5:30 a.m. anymore that would be great - he is my alarm clock too!! He has been a real blessing because I can tell him stuff, he talks back, but he isn't judgmental and doesn't try to tell me that he understands what I am going through, he just lets me talk and be me.
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I was diagnosed with BC in 2/2004...and then my cocker spaniel, Sasha, was diagnosed with BC a couple of months later, Hers was large and papable at diagnosis, but for a long time I just thought it was another large lipoma (benign) which she had gotten in the past. For a while there I wondered if there was something bad in our well water, but I'm sure it was just a coincidence.
The only treatment I had was the lumpectomy, so I was essentially done with it all by the time she was diagnosed. Sasha though, had a TRIPLE mastectomy, got spayed and had a small benign tumor removed from her tongue all on the same day. If I ever someday have to endure anything more extensive than that lumpectomy, I'll think back to what my little Sasha bravely went through. She barely let out a wimper the whole time and was up and moving about normally within a few days - and back to jumping up onto the bed within a week. She suffered quietly through the pain of those surgeries just so we could have more time with her. It was just a few months short of two years before she had to be put to sleep because of the cancer, but except for the last few weeks, they were very happy times for all of us who loved her...and most importantly, for her too.
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Rayne, your dog is awesome! He looks like part dog, part bunny. LOL!!!
Leeanne, your puppies are so cute! My cat Dallas was with me the whole time. Thank God for animals!! (My avatar is my new kittie Jimmie)
Heidi, is your avatar a cat????
Hugs, Traci
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MarieKelly,
What a story you tell...I glad she got to be with you when you needed her the most. (and she need you) I also lost my Sweetpet within just weeks of a recurrence of skin mets, bc in other breast and shingles, re-starting chemo again all at the same time. When it rains it pours...
Flalady
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What a great topic! My four cats and two dogs have been much more of a comfort to me than my dh. Vicki, my oldest is a 16 1/2 year old mutt from the pound. Emma, my other dog keeps Vicki active. My cats Noelle, Thomas, Shakespeare and Frankie all snuggle with me and give lots of support when I'm having a sad or bad day.
I cannot judge anyone else as being nuts. When I was five we got our first cat when a stray gave birth to a litter of kittens at my dad's office. My mom didn't really want a cat, but soon became very close to Minnie. After Minnie was with us awhile, my mom threw away her plastic cat dishes and replaced them with my grandmother's china. Minnie drank her water from a tea cup and had three types of cat food in three different bowls - canned, moist and crunchy. Apparently, my mom had come to the conclusion that Minnie was my grandmother reincarnated.
Beth
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My little dog was my buddy through my ten months of surgery chemo and recovery while I was off from work and shut in. When she would cuddle with me or look up at me with her little face , she seemed to be saying "Mommy. everything is going to be ok" That will four years this November and thabk God it has been ok.
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