How long should I stay out of work?

Is you're primary doctor also unwilling to sign off on it?  

It really does depend on you and how you heal.  Originally I got three letters from all three doctors.  One stating approx. when my chemo would start and the length of the total treatments, one from my surgeon stating his recovery time and one from the plastic surgeon stating his recovery time. That being said, my last day of work was January 15 of this year.  I have yet to go back, and I probably won't go back until January of next year.  I also received donated leave, but was able to arrange a telework agreement, so basically I do all my work from home.  My counts are still really low, so we are waiting until my reconstruction is over before I go back. 

Beth- it is a viscious circle - can't do a before b, but c has to be done before a OR b. big hugs. 

I only had to work with my rad onc as my time off commenced about 10 days after starting rads. All of my forms were on line with fairly worthless FAQs, but I did talk to the leave people more than once...their concern, and they told me this, was to make sure that my leave went according to plan and that there would be a job for me when I got back. That said, when you look at the forms, it may give you good insight as to who has to do the approving - they are often written to cover work injuries, not illness, which makes it difficult at best to figure out what's going on.

Each doctor has to say how long you'll need off & for what - start with surgery. They should be well-used to the forms what goes where. My rad onc had a nurse help with it to make sure the right words got in the right spot. Let HR or leave management know that it will be amended. With a lumpectomy, I had one week off work, so I didn't have to do any paperwork (it started with day 8). Fortunately, the paperwork didn't have to be filled out unless I knew I'd be out more than 7 calendar days.

The rad onc was very clear in the writeups that it was open-ended & leave management approved the minimum time (4 weeks) and then we amended it to 6 weeks. He was willing to put down whatever I needed. Unfortunately, the surgeon can't say how long you'll need for chemo, rads, or any other TX.

Unless you have to take time off before surgery, don't. The pre-surgical crap (xrays, blood work, etc) can be worked early or late in the day. The doc should have a good idea before scheduling if it will be LX or MX. Assume best case and go for a week & if he gets into it & it is a MX, then deal with it post-surgery.

Someone at the surgeon can tell you how things might proceed - if MX, then chemo starts so many days after. If LX, same thing. I didn't have chemo, so I'm not sure, but the rads probably start a couple of weeks after chemo ends. Without chemo, it is within 6 weeks of surgery. As others have said, you may not need full weeks off. If your work requires 60 consecutive days off, it might not happen until you are further into treatments (my mom started off ok, then needed to stay home after awhile as chemo took a huge toll on her). FMLA is 12 weeks over a year's time, consecutive days not required, so at least apply for that. The paperwork will distinguish between what is needed for individual days and/or longer time frames. 

Now, cruel Pam here. Beds don't get changed, soccer coaching doesn't happen (but go to whatever games you can), dinner is takeout, dad fixes sandwiches for lunch or your son gets to buy everyday. Cereal and milk for breakfast. If you have the energy now, do some cooking & throw it in the freezer. Vaccuming - forget it. You won't be able to for the duration (and the docs will tell you so. See, there is a bright side ). You'll be around enough toxins that cleaning the toilet - TOTALLY off limits. Dead serious here. Your number one priority is you and your health. Second is your son. I can't imagine going through it with a special needs child, but there should be some help available. If things get truly disgusting, then it's time for the husband to learn how to put a fitted sheet on the bed and throw a clean flat one on top. Pick your battles and where you want to expend your energy. Is there anyone you can bring in to help with your son & his therapy & homework? No doubt changes aren't easy for him, so it might not work, but think about it. Maybe school knows of a highschooler looking for volunteer hours (this sounds like something my 17 yo would do in a heartbeat).

 Please take care & take things as easy as you can. Like they say on the airplanes - put your oxygen mask on first.  Conserve your time off now, and take what you need later.

i understand - it was next to impossible for me to come to the decision to take short-term disability. Once I did, the weight lifted from my shoulders was incredible. I swear, dealing with HR and leave management is a job in and of itself.