telling aging mother?

Hi, poohsmom,

I don't often look in this thread, but for some reason I did today. Your screen name caught my eye because I was born in 1947 and thought maybe you were, too. I am also primarily responsible for my elderly mother, although she is able to live in a retirement home. She doesn't drive, so I am the one who takes her to appointments, etc.

I also discovered my bc because I noticed that my nipple was inverted. Mine turned out to be a 7 cm tumor with 4+ nodes. September will mark 5 years since my dx. I had mast, chemo, rads, and now I take Arimidex. When I had recon 2 years later, I had a proph mast on the other side (my choice). Treatment for most people isn't as bad as they think it will be. I was able to do anything I wanted...just felt yucky two days out of the 12 chemo treatments. It's not like you see in the movies. My mother was dx last year with bc and had a lumpectomy. Her recovery was very easy.

I think your mother will take her cue from you. If you present the information in a calm way and emphasize how there are so many new and effective treatments now days, maybe she will not be too upset. That's how I told my parents (dad now deceased) when I was dx in 2003. I tried to act as though it was just a "bump in the road." People in their generation didn't talk about the "Big C" and certainly didn't talk about breasts. I felt that I needed to ease their fears as much as possible.

Just a suggestion...you might want to post in the Newly Diagnosed forum because it gets much more traffic. This forum is mainly for people in hospice care and not as many people post here.

All the best to you,

Trish