Christina Applegate...venting

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  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited August 2008
    Ladies, let's not forget that many, if not most, of us are 100% cured.  The trouble is, none of us know which ones of us that is.  We can do all we need to do to make sure we are among the lucky ones and then we have to choose either to trust that we are cured or worry that we are not.  Worry never solved anything, so I choose to live my life as if I knew I were 100% cured.
  • badboob67
    badboob67 Member Posts: 2,780
    edited August 2008

    Slash, burn, and poison is NOT a CURE...it's a TREATMENT.

  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited August 2008

    Hon, yes, but sometimes the treatment does cure.

  • winner
    winner Member Posts: 50
    edited August 2008

    Faith and the mind is very powerful in my opinion.

    I believe we have the power to make our bodies react based on what is in our minds and heart.

    The first part of healing is believing you will!

    Hope this makes sense. 

  • pinoideae
    pinoideae Member Posts: 1,271
    edited August 2008

    Is it possible she stated "100% cured" so she could get the media monkey off her back, and stop making money/profits off of her, her mother's bc battle? hmmm?  Could it be, she wanted the media to back off as this is a private battle?  If she wanted to tell the planet earth she had bc, thinkin she would have call the media herself.   Sometimes I think the media should get a moral conscience.

  • anneshirley
    anneshirley Member Posts: 1,110
    edited August 2008

    I believe we have the power to make our bodies react based on what is in our minds and heart.

    Winner--it would be nice if what you write were true, but it's not, as demonstrated by many (many to an infinity) scientific studies.

  • HKitty71
    HKitty71 Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2008

    It took a lot of courage to go on TV and do what she did since she had been outed by someone to the scandal rags for something so personal.

    Living in the fish bowl that is Hollywood has to really be crappy when you get right down to it. When you can not be ill, sad etc. when a size 4 is considered overweight and a size 10 is a plus size. Imagine what it must be like to have no breasts. We of all the people should be able to empathize with how she feels. Heck I refer to my self as a construction zone, uniboob etc. Why, humor helps me get through the day and combat the anger that lies just below the surface. Sometimes I say it to the wrong people and they feel uncomfortable but you know what so is my expander.

    We are survivors.

    Yes Ann Jillian is a BC survivor  and they did make a TV movie about it back in the 80's, she does motivational speaking and still acts.

  • winner
    winner Member Posts: 50
    edited August 2008

    Anne, 

    My thoughts are not based on studies.  My thoughts are based in my faith in God and the human heart.  I defy science.  My belief in God is stronger than science.  I believe in miracles and I believe God can change the course of our lives in a second.   

     Regardless, I accept the path that God has chosen for me.

  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited August 2008

    Just to add a note Ann Jillian is an actress that had bc many many years ago.  She played the Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie (I'm pretty sure she did).  Anyway, she had a bilateral and did not have recon.  She was one of the first actress' that went public having her breasts removed without a rebuild and survived it!  She publicly shared how her husband accepted her body with its changes and she didn't need her breasts to be a woman.  Not everyone has that strength but she is a very strong woman!

    CA I think is doing what she has to in order to preserve her career.  I don't know if she went to college and has anything to fall back on, but at the moment she is a successful actress and can be judged on her looks in that job.  The really sad part is, is probably that these stupid rag magazines are going to be fighting trying to get pictures of her new breasts and will make it front page news.  Talk about exploiting someone.  Living in that type of environment I think she said and did what she has to for survival.  Watching her mom die of this disease makes me think she is well aware of what her fate can be.  She has been responsible so far and hopefully she is cured!

  • BMD
    BMD Member Posts: 1,492
    edited August 2008
    LuAnn-Barbara Eden was Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie. Ann Jillian has a very impressive background. You can check it out at www.annjillian.com.
  • Tigwin
    Tigwin Member Posts: 275
    edited August 2008

    Abbadoodles, Winner and others....

          I am with you.....I AM CURED !!!! That is what I believe and that is how I shall live my life !!!  God has a plan for me and I believe it is to live a long and healthy life. 

         So I had a very rough bump in the road.  I lost my hair, lost my breasts, went into menopause, gained weight, had a hysterectomy, but the most important thing is I am alive.  If I am that upset about what the media has to say then it is my job to do something about. Get out and work for a BC cause. Raise awareness and money to get the job done.  We can all make a difference by example from our past or what we are going through.

          I did not realize how heated this discussion would become.  Use this passion to make a difference.  The media goes crazy over everthing.  It is what they do.  We need to all go crazy over what we are passionate about in the world of cancer.  As Nike states "Just Do It".

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited August 2008

    Wow-- I came back to see 3 pages of posts here...

     Many people don't know, but 2 months before CA was dx, the guy she'd been dating on and off for years was found dead of a drug overdose.  So imagine having that, on top of a dx and genetic testing to deal with, and her publicist in her face, telling her what to do and say... it's a lot to have on your shoulders.

    I recall when Robin Roberts was first dx, and she was SOOOOOO gung ho about working during treatment, (when at this point she had not yet begun chemo) and they were doing loads of interviews- with some of our sisters from here (some of you guys may remember)... well I was considered for the interview, and I gave them a piece of my mind-- b/c I had to take off 10 months during tx and surgery, and I felt the interview was doing a dis service to our sisters that neded time off of work.

    Well, the interview aired anyway, of course, I wasn't a part of it. 

    Then, Robin pretty much had to eat her words.  While she did put on a brave face and work most of the time during chemo, there were several days she was absent, and she even at one point made a reference to how she may have not known everything she would be up against in the beginning.

    I have a newbie that I'm counseling, who wanted to work during chemo (as a nurse in a very busy hospital) and I told her, give it a shot, but I think you're nuts... (she also has the re$ources to stay home if need be)  Well, low and behold, after just ONE tx, she wound up in the hospital which we all know is so rare, but she said to me today, I'm so glad I took your advice and I'm staying home.

    I don't judge her for this, nor would any of you guys-- we all need different things to get through.  So if CA needs to say cured, then so be it.

    Ask yourselves why it's so important for the NON cancer world to know that we aren't cured?  Will they understand our fear?  Will they have more compassion for us?

    The answer is no.  They can never understand what it's like, and truthfully, I wouldn't want people knowing that some days I have fear.  I wouldn't want them to treat me any differently.  That is why I come here.  That is what the sisterhood is for....

    The more celebs that get breast cancer, the more the spotlight is on us.  It would be great if these celebs talked about the fact that 41,000 women in the US are still dying every year from BC, or that insurance should be federally mandated to cover genetic testing... but they are just starting out on this journey themselves....

    Don't be so quick to judge CA, or each other.  we're all fighting the same battle.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    I am really behind in all of this, and just caught these discussions today.

    I watched her interview just now, and want to say how interesting it is how differently we all respond to her words. 

    Cancer (and breast cancer) are very sensitive topics for us, and rightfully so. 

    One thing I'd like to point out (forgive me if I missed it, there were lots of posts!) is how wonderful it is that she is going to start a program to help pay for genetic testing and MRI's.  I had to pay quite a bit of money for both of those, as neither were covered by my insurance.  Such a program will be a huge blessing for others. 

    The other thing is that maybe she doesn't use the same jargon and lingo as we do here, but I don't think she is uneducated as far as this topic is concerned.  I caught that she said "this was the best decision......for ME."  She disclaimed herself.  It's cool. 

    I also want to point out that haven't any of you just tried to "smooth it over," when all of the initial attention was dumped on you?  I was surprised to say the least that Robin, a fellow sister/survivor asked what the prognosis was for her. (EDIT TO ADD: BETH, as usual, you worded my feelings about Robin exactly spot on.  She really insisted that she would be fine, so on and so on, and she did have her days.  You go, girl.)

     OMG, when people ask/ed that of me, do they think I'll answer, "I currently have no cancer in my body, but I was triple negative and therefore have a rather aggressive case, especially since I was a grade III.  There is no option of Arimidex or Herceptin for me, so I have to live on faith alone.  My oncologist says if I gain weight rather than lose weight, I am asking for the cancer to come back, blah blah blah......" ???????  

    Nope. 

    I say, "I am currently cancer free." 

    She only said, "I am definitely not going to die from this."  I interpret that the same way I communicated to people.  I used TheresaPW's words, "Living WITH cancer, NOT dying from it." 

    I hated when people asked me my prognosis.  I HATED it. Was I expected to say, "I'm only going to live another 6 months."???  What a question.  Ask how we are feeling.  Not if we are dying.   


    I think Christina is going to be a great ambassador for the younger women out there.  She hasn't had much time in this role, she needs to let this sink in. 

  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited August 2008

    Deb/Whoops, good point about what Christina said about trying to ensure that women who need genetic testing and MRIs will get them.

    BTW, I have now watched the full interview, I think -- and don't believe I heard ANYONE use the words "cure" or "cured."  (More like, "As of now, I'm clean, I'm clear..." which to me sounds exactly like a doctor's pronouncement of No Evidence of Disease.)

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited August 2008

    BethNY, you asked this:

    "Ask yourselves why it's so important for the NON cancer world to know that we aren't cured?  Will they understand our fear?  Will they have more compassion for us?"

    I don't know if they would have more compassion for us, but I do think there would be a better understanding of the fears we face, and of the tremendous amount of work that still needs to be done.

    This might not be a good analogy, but I'm going to use it anyway.  How many people do you know that have been "cured" of AIDS?  None, I suspect, because at this point, AIDS cannot be cured.  Everyone knows that (or should know it).  The powerful and expensive drugs that AIDS patients are given will keep the virus suppressed, but only for awhile.  That might be weeks, or it might be years; but so far, I doubt very many people dx'd with AIDS in their 40's or 50's have died of old age. 

    So, should the general public be fooled into believing that someone can be "100% cured" of AIDS?  Or, if someone with AIDS takes those nice antiviral drugs for a couple of weeks, he/she will have minimal or no SE's, and will live happily ever after?

    No, I don't think so. 

    Why should the long-term prognosis for BC be treated differently?  I think it's because most of the general public want to believe that BC is curable.  It affects mothers and daughters and sisters, some of them too young to have seen their own children through grade school.  It affects their breasts--a very visible, highly desirable, emotionally charged anatomical feature.  And, the money-raising efforts have created an aura around BC that is, well, ... so darn PINK.

    How could anything associated with a soft, pink ribbon be so deadly?

    There is a psychology to fund-raising, just as there is to promoting Hollywood starlets.  Would people be as willing to give their time and money, if they knew the recurrence rate of BC goes up after the first 5 years, in ER+ women who've been on an estrogen blocker?  What would they say if they found out the risk of BC recurrence never disappears--it continues for at least 15 years, probably even longer.  How many of them realize that, once a person is dx'd with mets/Stage IV BC, the intent of treatment isn't to cure the disease--it's simply to slow it down.

    People want to hear good news.  They want us to tell them we're doing fine, thanks.  They want to think we've been cured.

    Why shouldn't they know the truth?

    otter 

  • danix5
    danix5 Member Posts: 755
    edited August 2008

    Well all,

    I have finally got a moment in time to sit with you all!  I have just returned from two weeks at the beach yeah!!!!

    Now I am packing two kids to leave to college, Thurs and Friday departures!!!  Yeah!!!!

    That still leaves three at home, boooo!

    Anyway, I would like to add to this discussion, that we are all different in our responses to the "news", I feel Christina responded like I did.  I had two areas of high grade dcis and chose to have the bilateral!  I do consider myself cancer free and very lucky!

    However, I still feel very sad about what I have been through, knowing all the time I was one of the lucky ones, but at the same time very MAD that I had to be in this cancer thing at all!

    I find myself looking at ladies in the grocery store shops where ever and wondering why did I get this crap, and does she have it, or is she next, or how did she make it so far and never get bc!!!  I would never ever wish any cancer on anyone and you do feel lucky when you get a "good" dx, but you still long for the normal life before cancer!

    I think especially on this site, we should not pick out words and things Christina has said and over analyze them!  She speaks from the heart about what she is facing right now!

    I hope she remains cancer free, and she can come to peace with the hell she is experiencing now!  It is hell, all of our journeys!  We  just have different journeys some better than others, but none of them easy!!!

    Please let us support her and not be jealous or petty about her terrible situation!

    We are here to support all the women and men who face this bastard of diseases!

    Bye for now ,

    Dani

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited August 2008

    Otter I think your analogy is great.  It brings me to a different point...

    Do you know that only 11,000 people in the US will die next year of AIDS, yet it still TRUMPS cancer as far as the amount of money the government gives to AIDS vs Cancer funding....

    this makes me insane.  Especially b/c on many levels AIDS can be prevented.

    But, I totally digress.

    I still don't know if the general population was more educated about not having a cure for cancer that they would somehow be more compassionate.  I know the one thing I hate is when people treat me like I am fine china.  This was especially the case during chemo.  I'd hate to be viewed as less strong, or just less of a woman than an average healthy woman who could get hit by a bus tomorrow b/c I had an illness that may come back one day.

    It's hard to say that cancer hasn't defined me, b/c on so many levels it has.  It's what I know, it's what I do.  Its in my regular work, my volunteer work, it is so much a part of my every day life.  BUT, I wouldn't want to be defined by the fear part of cancer.  I don't try to explain to my noncancer friends what that fear is like, b/c they can't understand it, and I don't want to put that worry on their shoulders. 

    Sometimes I feel like the noncancer people in my life are waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to my health b/c they know there is no cure.  I try to look at all of this as an opportunity to educate other people.

    More importantly for me, is to make my young friends aware of BSE's and about general breast health.  I think that's a huge thing that I get to pass onto them.  I'm still not even close to the age where they start doing mammo's but I can tell you when I get there, I will be the first person to start a buddy system with my girlfriends to remind them to check their breasts and have their yearly exams.

    It will be very interesting to watch the SU2C event, and I'm so glad CA will be a part of it.  I hope she will share more of her own story.  I know that people are saying she's not aware of a lot, but overall I think she has been very proactive due to her moms history.  The fact that her cancer was picked up on an MRI means they could have caught it in it's earliest growth-- it may have even been under a centimeter....

    Sorry to be all over the place with this post-- but another thing to consider... if we want the general public to be more aware that there isn't a cure, and truly we can never really be cured... well, what are we doing about it?  I'm all for sitting around here and talking about the issues, but I'd much rather take a stand and DO something about it.

  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2008

    Wow. I was out of town when this interview aired - thanks for the link. I cried when I watched it as it is just SO sad all around. BC just plain old sucks no matter who you are.

    I think Christina came across as a very strong young woman. I didn't hear "cured", I heard "clear" and "free" which is what she is now. My onc says I'm cured, too, although I know that it can return at any time. I wish her all the best.

  • mradf
    mradf Member Posts: 398
    edited August 2008

    Hey all,

    Maybe I'm missing something here, but after my bi-lat mastectomies, my surgeon told me I was now "cancer free".  Although there are no guarantees for the future, by choosing the mastectomies, I had effectively cut my risk down to about the same as the general population.

    I had DCIS and a strong family history.  (1st degree relative with bc before age 50, 2nd degree relative with bc and another with ovarian cancer).  Christina Applegate had this in addition to testing BRCA1 positive (I was negative).  I did not see the GMA interview, however I read the story in my newspaper.  I felt she made the right choice for the right reasons and I was glad she shared her story.  Not that I need to, but It somehow helped to justify my choice to those loved ones who feel I was too radical.  Like someone said in another thread, "walk a mile in my bra". 

    I believe that with her fame and relative youth, she will bring a lot to the bc discussion.  I admire the fact that she has already decided what her focus will be for others (MRI's).  I am not certain that I've heard the same from Robin Roberts or Melissa Etheridge.  I'm not saying they haven't, but I may have missed it. 

    Be well,

    Maria

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Diane, {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}  The very sad thing about this disease, and Beth is right, most people who have not been affected by this or know someone in their life with BC will not really care to be educated.  I didn't.  When October came around I didn't pay attention.  I knew nothing about bc.  I'm ashamed to admit it.  I had my mammos every year.  When I walked out after seeing my gyn and having the "all clear" from the mammo, I felt great.  I didn't know it may not show up on the mammo and that I walked out of there with cancer.

    I CAN say that the people I've been around have not said anything really stupid to me.  They've all been caring when asking questions.  I can tell they're uncomfortable asking..not quite sure how TO ask. When I knew I'd be getting a biopsy one of my nieces called and let me know she was thinking of me and concerned.  I told her if it was cancer I'd have to deal with it.  Isn't that what most of us do?  Many of us put on this strong appearance that all will be well. 

    Diane is coming from a very, very different journey than may of us.  I can so understand where she is coming from.  Her experience with this damned disease is much different than many of our's.  And, we don't know what shoe each of us walk in.  And when I think of others who have mets I'm sure they wish they had been "given a break."  Is that so abnormal?  It's not that they or any of us want any bc sister to go through what some of us have gone through or what the women with mets are living with. 

    My cancer, as far as I'm concerned, was not caught "early" even though I did mammos.  What IS early?  My onc threw the chemo at me..AC/Taxol and after rads six months of Xeloda.  Do I obsess over this disease returning?  No.  However, when I have "a" different pain I tend to worry.  That's normal.

    I think of Tony Snow, one of the most positive people who was living with cancer.  I think of all his early screenings due to the fact it was in his family.  I can see him now when he was the press secretary and looked so sick.  And the day he left the job I can see him with his thin white hair smiling and waving at all the well-wishers.  No one could have been any more postive than Tony Snow.  And I'm certainly not saying NOT to think positive.  Because if we were always in the negative mode what miserable people we would be. 

    Again, don't be hard on the women here who have different opinions on this whole subject.  I think it's good to get feelings out especially for those who are going through extremely difficult times.  And some of us do not have the energy to get out and work for awareness of this disease.   

  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited August 2008

    I haven't read through this whole thread, but I have been following the story.  I have learned over the last few years not to judge how other women handle bc.  This has not come easy to me.  Most women I know or hear about with bc are diagnosed much earlier than I was and i have struggled to understand their fear and sadness when what I'm thinking is how jealous I am that their's was caught so early.  I remember reading Sheryl Crowe saying radiation was akin to being raped and thinking she could only think something like that if she didn't have chemo.

     These are not feelings I'm proud of and i think I've gotten much better about seeing each woman as she is, with where she is.  Which brings me to CA, who has probably lived with a fear of bc ever since her mother had it.  She had to make a very difficult decision and i think it is totally understandable that she is proud of herself for making that call, and handling it as well as she has.  And if the word gets out that early detection allows you to go out there and claim you are cured, well maybe more women will get screened.  I don't think the idea that early detection saves lives is a bad one to have out there. 

  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited August 2008

    hi

    i feel for her.

    my mom had bc. i worry about me and my sisters. 

    i would be so scared if i was diagnosed.   maybe she is trying to think positive or not thinking clearly.

    my mom was not thinking clearly after 15 days. after being diagnosed my mom was just having surgury 15  days later. 

  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited August 2008

    Christina is a public figure and with all the perks of her career, the downside if that some things she doesn't want public are made so. Celebrities use the media when they want publicity.  We have aright to comment on her interview and discuss things she has said publically. I assume since she openly discussed her surgery, she's going to be strong enough not to care when people comment about her reconstruction. Maybe she'll do a playboy centerfold and show everyone just how great she looks. That would be awesome for the cause and for her.

  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited August 2008

    SURELY SHE WANT CARE  WHEN PEOPLE COMMENT ABOUT HER RECONSTRUCTION.

    SHE SAID SHE WOULD HAVE THE BEST BOOBS IN THE NURSING HOME ONE DAY.Smile

  • carolsd
    carolsd Member Posts: 358
    edited August 2008

    It sounds like she may not have used the word "cure." So I would certainly applaud that.

    My only issue is that when the uninitiated public hears about someone being "cured" they view BC as less ominous, something they may not have to be so vigilant about, because after all, it can be cured. There are already many misconceptions about BC among people who don't have a personal connection to it. We have all heard the stories about "oh, you have breast cancer... you'll be ok" as if it's no big deal -- because a lot of women ARE ok in the end.

    I don't think Christina has any obligation to be a spokesperson for BC or to trot ot her personal details to anyone. I would hate having that kind of spotlight on me.

  • Maryiz
    Maryiz Member Posts: 975
    edited August 2008

    I think we all know there is no cure.  We are all afraid, whether you are stage 1 or stage IV, we have the fear of return or in some cases, further progression.  Even if you are cured, there is still the possibility of a second primary.  I think we all aim for the CURE.  We don't want to worry about it any more or see anyone else in our family suffer from this disease.  I can't be heard on Christina Applegate, she is only 36, will never breastfeed her children and awfully young to have this disease with all of its lovely side effects.  Bottom line, the public would like to dismiss this disease as nothing.  I think if they truly SAW the faces, young mothers with children, women about to retire, being diagnosed, a bride learning of this disease a week before her wedding, they might get it.  They just don't put a face to it.  They don't look at the web sites we look at.  I have been through this web site so much, I feel like it's a career now.  Also, has the public really seen what a mastectomy looks like, heard the testimonies of all of our sad sisters and their new, sexless lives.  I don't mean at all to be doom and gloom, but has anyone really done a powerful documentary to see all the faces.  The Today Show said the average age for diagnosis is somewhere in the sixties bracket.  I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS, not from the women I personally know who are diagnosed and all of the women on this forum, I just don't believe it.  Anyway, I still feel the public needs to be further education, see all the pictures, and then maybe get it.  What do you think.  Thanks for allowing me to vent, Maryiz

  • Maryiz
    Maryiz Member Posts: 975
    edited August 2008

    sorry, "hard on CA" and "further educated."  I'm sooo tired. Mary

  • dhettish
    dhettish Member Posts: 501
    edited August 2008

    Ha, today on the today show, they talked about breast reconstruction. In talking about the expanders they said it was "a balloon-like material". Hello, mine are hard plastic! They showed me what they looked like and it is not soft like a balloon. It does not feel like a water balloon. It feels like an iron balloon. This was coming from a surgeon. Are there really soft expanders? Geez, I get so sick of the media.

    I just hope that if CA peeks on this site, she doesn't feel blasted. That would be awful. She should be able to join us and feel supported. I know my remarks were not the best and said in the heat of the moment and while I was in expander pain. But wait.....how can I have pain from a soft balloon-like material?

    Debbie 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Maryiz, I think a factual documentary would be wonderful.  However, I wonder who would watch it?  How many people are really interested?  We would watch it.  I wonder if I would watch something like that if I had never been dxd. 

    I don't know what it's going to take to put a real face to this disease.

    Shirley

  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited August 2008

    Hmmm.....while I do think that it would be good if the real facts about breast cancer were better understood and if the disease wasn't white-washed in the press (or pink-washed?), I don't know that I would want a factual documentary about reconstruction.  I don't know why we would want everyone to know all the gory details.  At least I don't.  In truth I was a bit uncomfortable with what was discussed on GMA this morning; it hit too close to home.  I don't want people looking at me, wondering if I had a skin & nipple sparing mastectomy or not.  Is that what you want your colleagues at work to be thinking about?

    Debbie, I didn't get the impression that the doctor was saying that an expander was soft; I think she used a balloon as an example of how an expander works.  And it does work like a balloon.  It has a hard shell (a rock hard shell) but as it is filled with saline it does expand sort of like a balloon.  So it was the concept that she was trying to explain and I think saying it's like a balloon is probably as good a way as any to explain it.  Are there soft expanders?  Not as far as I know.  I think it would defeat the purpose, which is to provide as much pressure as possible against the muscle and skin so that the muscle and skin is stretched.  If it was soft, it wouldn't work.

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