I don't want to deal with this now!

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Sapphelah
Sapphelah Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
I don't want to deal with this now!
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  • Sapphelah
    Sapphelah Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2008

    This last month is a month I'll never forget.

     I'm 7.5 months pregnant. As I'm going into labor and delivery just about a month ago, to find out why I have fluids running down my legs in second trimester, I find out that my mother has breast cancer.

     I didn't deal with it right away...I honestly think my subconcious blocked it to get through what I needed to get through.

     Her surgery was 2 weeks ago. The lump was an inch around. The lymph nodes-cancer free. Surgeon told my father and I that she wouldn't have chemo.

     They told her Friday that they are starting chemo on the 22 of August. I know it's selfish, but she had scheduled my baby shower for August 24. She may/may not be there-and she was one of the main hosts. I don't want her to miss any part of anything for my daughter...

    It all has begun to hit me like a brick in the last few days.

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  • roseg
    roseg Member Posts: 3,133
    edited August 2008

    Chemo, particularly the first treatment, doesn't always knock you out of action entirely. Your Mom may not be at the top of her game on the 24th, but with the proper pharmacology I'll bet she can put in an appearance at your shower!  They'll give her plenty of "happy" drugs, she needs to get a designated driver and take them!

    Now if she's in charge of anything like food or games maybe somebody else could take those duties over 'cause she won't be 100%, but I'd sure encourage her to come. Moms put themselves through icky stuff like chemo precisely so they can there for important events in their kids lives Kiss

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  • Sapphelah
    Sapphelah Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2008

    Thanks, Rose.

     I'm glad you were understanding. I had been on another board that was definitely less than understanding about my feelings.

     We are all taking things one step at a time and my sister and aunt have stepped up to help more. I know that the road we are on has a potential to feel like worlds' longest road, but whatever the outcome, we will make it.

    Can we tell we're on a good day?

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  • BMac
    BMac Member Posts: 650
    edited August 2008

    Yes, your Mom will be able to be there although she probably won't be at the top of her game like Rose said.  Of course you want your Mom there.  This is a very special time for you and you have so much to deal with, what with a new baby and a mother with breast cancer

    When I had my first child my father was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer.  My mother intentionally didn't tell me for a few weeks so that I could enjoy the time with my new baby and get back on my feet.  What should have been the happiest time of my life (and in many ways was) turned out to be the saddest time of my life.  I cried everyday and could hardly take care of myself, let alone a newborn, so I totally understand where you're coming from.  Thank goodness your mother isn't at that stage.  She has a long road ahead of her but she can get through it.

    Shame on other people not understanding.  Do they not remember the hormones and emotions at the time of giving birth.  I always went into a postpartum depression with each of my children and I think it all started because of my Dad's diagnosis.  That certainly sent me into a depression and started the pattern for the next two.

    Anyway, enjoy your shower and I'm sure that your mother will do everything in her power to be there for you and I'm sure you will be there for your mother.

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