Camp Chemo theme song

Hey campers! Here's a little song I posted on the TCH topic site. Since you are, apparently, ladies who like a good laugh, please enjoy.

Camp Chemo

Sung to the tune of “Camp Granada” by Allen Sherman

Aunt Begonia, Uncle Nemo,

I’m writing you from Camp Chemo.

I’m on steroids—they think I’m witty.

It’s just too bad they cut off my right titty.

The infusion—it was nasty.

Gave me too much carbo-plasty.

The herceptin makes me snotty,

But I don’t know why I can’t go to the potty.

I’m now losing all my hair-a.

That is thanks to Taxo-tera.

Don’t know which end needs unloading.

After several days, my bowels are now exploding.

Can’t make white cells any fast-a.

This is why I’m on Neulasta.

Lips are one big, ugly blister—

Double dare you to fix this one, Dr. Lister!

(bridge)

Make it end! Dear Uncle, Auntie,

It’s so bad! I’m on a rant-y.

Don’t let them stick me again

In the arm or worse, in my rear end.

Make it end! I promise I will be so good,

A pillar in my neighborhood.

Life used to be so sweet

Before the tumor in my teat.

If this cup could pass from my lips,

I’d give every waitress high tips.

Let it end now, God my Savior,

And I’ll clean up all my horrible behavior.

Wait a minute, looked in the mirr-a.

Face has never looked any clear-a!

I can work out. I feel much stronger.

Guess I’ll put up with this crap a little longer.

                                             Copyright Michele Marzoni 7.4.08