Mom's on her last few day's.

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lsm_melissa
lsm_melissa Member Posts: 4
edited June 2014 in Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care

Ugh, why is this all so hard to cope with. And feel like no one can ever understand, but I know in my heart that's not true. My Mom found out she had Breast Cancer back in October of this year 2007. She went through Chemo for 6 months the triple cocktail. Then the Mesctomy, had to do Radiation, 5 day's a week or 6 weeks. Lot's of up's and down's her loosing over 160 pounds. Now, this last hospital viist her cancer went from stage 3 to stage 4 in a matter of 24 hours Cancer has spread to her liver,lung's and Bone. She is now in her "last living day's" as the doc's call it. So I can get the call at any time. AllI can do is Cry!....Feel helpless

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  • MelanieW
    MelanieW Member Posts: 326
    edited July 2008

    I feel so bad for you.  I lost my mom this past Thursday.  Not cancer.  I was able to be with her for her last 3 weeks and that has helped ease the pain.  My hope is that your mother is comfortable.  I don't know what her situation is, but maybe she actually does have some time with the right treatment.  This is such a tough road we all travel and it is almost as difficult for those that love us...especially our children. 

    Again...I am so so sorry for what you are going through right now. 

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited July 2008

    I am so sorry to hear this news, is there no tx that can be tried?  If not, I will pray for her comfort and staying pain free.  Mom's are the most special thing in the world to most people and they are so hard to say goodbye to.  My mom died 16 years ago and it sure feels like yesterday still.  I miss her terribly and there is just nothing as special as a mother's love.  Please cherish and help your mom through these final days, she needs to know it is ok for her to leave.  This disease is heartless but it does give you the chance to tell someone how much you love them before they depart for their place with God.  My prayers are with you both tonight.

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  • lsm_melissa
    lsm_melissa Member Posts: 4
    edited July 2008

    My mom passed away this morning at 4:20 a.m..... They said they gave her some morphene and got her comfy, after that she just closed her eyes and passed!....Something So much harder to deal with, I never went to go see her, I Just couldn't see her that way, she understood we had this mutual agreement before she got so bad, We understood, but now my dad, uncles, aunts. Just really are giving me a hard time. I understand they need someone to be angry with and it's easier to be angry at me, so I'll just take it as it comes. But, i just want to say this whole community, this board, chat's you people who read what others write when thet are writting our of fear, joy,or sorrow, you all are helping in a way. So please continue to do that. Your Angel's and your unaware!......The Best Kind!.....Thank You......

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  • Paulette531
    Paulette531 Member Posts: 738
    edited July 2008

    Melissa...so very sorry to hear this news. Hang in there and take time to mourn and don't worry too much about what anyone says, you and your Mom had an agreement and that's it. Stay strong and be good to yourself...time has a way of lessening pain.

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  • Dejaboo
    Dejaboo Member Posts: 2,916
    edited July 2008

    Im so Sorry to hear about your Mom.  My Thoughts & Prayers are with you & Your family.

    I lost my Mom 17 years ago & I also did not go to see her afterwards.  I did not want to remember her like that.  But rather remember her in life.

    My Sisters saw her.

    It is ok either way.

    Whats important is that you did what you needed to do & Your Mom Understood that.

    Im sorry your relatives are giving you a hard time.

    Pam

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited July 2008

    I am so sorry to hear your mom passed so quickly, sounds like it was a peaceful and comfortable death which what we can all hope for.  She is an angel now watching above us.  I am very sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

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  • zschweeb
    zschweeb Member Posts: 160
    edited July 2008

    am very sorry for your loss...lost my mom 15 years ago to lung cancer was on my way to visit her with my sister when  she passed...did get to see her the day before ...when we got there they tried to stop us from going into her room but both my sister and i had to go in...still remember how she looked not at all like herself but it was something we had to do....she knows how much you loved her and would understand whatever decision you made do NOT beat  yourself up just know she is at rest and no longer in pain 

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  • lastminuteD
    lastminuteD Member Posts: 333
    edited July 2008

    Melissa,

    I am so sorry to hear that your mom  has passed.  Do not let your family get to you - everyone handles illness and death differently and I'll guarantee that your mom understands.

    We lost my mother-in-law almost 18 years ago w/metastatic brain cancer and my mom is fighting stage 4 bile duct cancer that has spread to her liver.  It is so hard to lose people you love but I think it's even harder to lose a mom.

    Prayers for strength and comfort for you Melissa.

    Dawn

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  • ucxh20
    ucxh20 Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2008

    Hi Melissa

     On of the hardest things I have had to do in my life is watching my mom die, if you chose not to be there, I fully understand, sometimes its better to remember the person when they were well. You and your mom understood each other, and thats all that matters.  Its easy for me to say time heals but it does get better its 5 years since my mom passed, I miss her like hell, but I can cope and you will too.  I will pray for you tonight for god to give you comfort and strength to get you through the funeral and days to come.

    God Bless

    Christine

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  • cats_love_me
    cats_love_me Member Posts: 109
    edited August 2008

    i've very sorry for you loss.  I lost my mom in april. 

    What agreement you had between yourself and your mom, your mom knew what you needed, and she loves you.  The family is at a loss right now, and unfortunately lashing out at you.  Try your best to ignore them, you know mom loved you and how much you loved your mom.  Thats what is important.

    Some days are going to be rough and some are going to be easier.  For myself, things have gotten easier over the few months that have passed, so even though you may be blue, take time to do things you enjoy to make yourself a little more happy in this rough period. 

    God bless and a jumbo hug!!

    Connie

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  • sbmolee
    sbmolee Member Posts: 1,085
    edited August 2008

    So sorry to hear of your loss. We all handle death differently and do NOT let others make you feel guilty for not going to see her after she passed.  Some need this, others do not.  When my Dad passed from liver/colon cancer I did not want to see him after he passed.  I am happy I stood firm and did not allow the chiding of others make me feel guilty.  It has been 5 hears and I am still happy not to see him that way for my last memory of him. 

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