Good News Made Me Crazy - Am I normal or do I need a shrink?

HHCats

So a little bit about me.  I am 44 and live near Toronto.  My TN breast cancer was caught last year because I went to a private healthcare clinic just for a check-up.  The fact that I went when I did, it was caught before it spread, and to top it all off it my mammo didn't show it - I needed an extra ultrasound which caught it and someone had the intuition to say "this woman needs an ultrasound" - all sums up as a miracle.  It was very aggressive, deep inside of me and I would have only qualified for a mammogram when I was 50 here in Ontario.  

In short, I am a very lucky woman.

So a little over 10 months into this, I returned to the private healthcare place for a check up.  My husband is encouraging in this because I am one of those who will not get follow up scans, etc unless I show a symptom - just not the protocol here.  At the private healthcare place, they did a complete ultrasound of my abdomen.  Everything was perfectly clear.  My extensive bloodwork was the best it has ever been.  I'm down 12lbs and 5% in body fat and after chemo and major surgery - I did BETTER on the fitness test.  My white cells are back up to normal and my inflammation numbers are perfect.  My doctor there was beaming at me.  She was so happy.  I was happy, too. I have worked hard to keep the weight off and have been taking supplements and eating even better than ever.  It pays off.  I am the healthiest I ever have been.  

Like I said, I was happy too but in shock a little bit. I don't know why.  I've had a bone scan and a CT scan last November after my lumpectomy which all came back clear.  So I was told to consider myself "cancer-free".  I did the chemo and then followed up with the bilateral and DIEP to be as aggressive as possible.  It all adds up to good stuff.  

So my good news was last Friday.  I've been nuts ever since.  It could be the tetnus/diptheria/whooping cough immunization injection they gave me - but I have been crying and crazy.  My husband says I go to bed mad and wake up mad.  Everything is setting me off.  It's like I came home with this great news and the fog cleared and I realized what a mess everything around the house has become while I was busy having treatment.  It's like I wanted to clean up almost a year's worth of mess and clutter in one weekend.  I have driven my kids and my husband nuts.  No one wants to be around me and we only have two weeks of summer vacation left.  

I popped an anti-anxiety med an hour ago and feel better.  My husband thinks I should bribe the kids into helping with a little cleaning and then throwing them outside into the pool for the afternoon while I sit in the shade of our umbrella and read.  Basically everyone have a good afternoon and enjoy the summer while we have it.

Has anyone else experienced this good news-bad reaction scenario before?

I'm crazy, aren't I?

Robin

Lily55

No, now you are out of the treatment loop you have space for all your emotions to come up, give yourself time

InspiredbyDolce

That's great advice Lily.  I also think it is that.  Once we don't have something to focus on, that's when it does come up.  So good news, makes room for us to have more things to worry about.  I bet you will feel great in another day or two, just give it time!

pupmom

There's a thread you might want to read called "Why Was I Stronger During Treatment?" It talks about exactly what you are experiencing. While we're working overtime to save our lives we go on auto-pilot. But once the dust settles and we really look at what we went through we do break down a bit. I think it's very common. Congrats on getting through treatment and kicking cancer's butt to the curb!

HHCats

Thanks ladies - (and to those who sent me private messages) I am starting to rally a bit.  I decided to suck up to my kids and we have had a very unhealthy lunch at McDonald's which they loved.  Then a trip to the library and now we are hanging by the pool.  

My husband told me that he gets it - it has all been so overwhelming and now I've done all that I can do - but our kids don't understand why mom is crying all the time and obessed with cleaning!  So I took his advice and am having a better afternoon.  

Yorkiemom - I am going to look up that thread.  Thanks.  

Robin

sheila63

You are perfectly normal, and have every right to be happy, crazy, or whatever you want to be.  I am very happy for you, and wish you many years to celebrate being cancer free.