please help

flyfire444

Sue, I am also a "survivor" having had bc, chemo, radiation and now taking tamoxifen and vagifem among other sundry other drugs to manage side effects.  However, I am here, I'm alive and now enjoying my four week old grandson.  I went through similar feelings of dispair, darkness, and depression and I was very pleased to have a great Onc who was easy to talk to. He was very sensitive to my issues and readily prescribed anti-depressants, recommended a therapist, and most importantly reminded me of all my love support.  You, too, must re-connect with your loved ones. We are strong, we are women all sharing the same pain, same thoughts and hopes.  I'm not sure of your belief system, but I found meditation and prayer very helpful.  The hospital onc nurses kept in touch with symposiums, group meetings and just feel-good gatherings.  Don't be afraid to reach out to others in your home town going through the same issues.  There are many of us.  And many of us who have a strong will to survive and beat this beast known as Cancer.  Be blessed Sueps.

flyfire444

Sueps... forgot to mention, I had the same diagnosis as you.  Only difference is that they did not take all my lymph nodes.  Only took a couple and found no C, so left the rest alone.  Your doctor must feel that your C is a slow growing type, mine was Her2N positive. He/she must feel there is no down side to your waiting several weeks for surgery.  If it was the States, the Onc would have you scheduled right away.  With BC, the oncs, don't mess around here.  They know the patients are already quite nervous and distraught and they want to do everything possible to get them calm in preparation for surgery.

1Cathi

SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coonie

(((((((((((((((((( Cathi )))))))))))))))))))))))

md_mouse

HUGS Cathi.  I hope you feel better soon.  We are here for you.  mouse

barbe1958

Cathi????? Describe sad...is it better than terrified??? What happened on the 18th? Did SILLY get jail time? I see they're witholding the kids from Jacklyn.

1Cathi

No no jail time on the 18th just typical law stuff, another date set for 9/6,  I guess this kind of stuff can drag on and on according to what we are told,  he has plead not quilty so at some point he will either have to take a plee or have a trial. 

No of us have seen the kids in a week,  nor have heard a word,  SIL's last message to me was WE AREN'T WELCOME IN THEIR LIFES ,  Fla has no GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS as far  as visitation,  the judge did tell them last Monday to consider what an intrical part of Landen ^ Ella's lifes we are,  but I guess so far they haven't.  So I guess SAD is kinda like TALKERS REMORSE,  been sitting here thinking if we hadn't have said anything in court maybe we would still have them, or at least still be seeing them,  I know thats not the right way to think,  but it is what it is.  I miss them, wonder & worry almost every minute of everyday,   we looked into some flights to NJ take a long weekend and gamble and take a break from this heat, but then I thought no I can't go anywhere - what if something happens. And we know it always does.

I just can not shut my brain off. 

chrissyb

Cathi, don't walk the 'if I had not done that'  road as you will only make yourself ill.  As hard as it is, it is what it is and you never know, tomorrow it may all change again.  It is only natural that you miss and worry for them as you have had them close for so long.  I share your sadness but I also have faith that they will be kept safe................perhaps not the safe that you desire for them but safe none the less.  I know that the court system can disappoint us a lot of the time but just sometimes, things turn around and good decisions are made by those who sit on the bench..................there is always hope.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

1Cathi

Thanks Chrissy,  I am a WHAT IF , kind of person -   and I always have shoppers remorse.  I do pray everyday that God keeps them safe,   and I realize it may be his way not mine,  sometimes though that is not comfort enough.   Oh well for today it is what it is.  

cloudhowe

Hi Cathi

I tried FB for Silly Billy, but think he has unbefriended me - sent a nice wee message. And I was very gentle on him!!!! Thicko knuckle dragger!!

Disgraceful Daughter is quiet, lots of self piccies in the mirror and some of the kids. No more gloating as when they got the kids ... Silly Billy "I love providing for my family - it's a good feeling" WTF!!  I can't help thinking how moronic their comments are, and my heart aches for you, Ed and your brill DD. Will keep you updated (I only go on FB every few days .....)

ANyold how my loves ----- Glasgow has been transformed into Philidelphia for the new Brad Pitt movie, massive disruption as George Square becomes Broad Steet and lots of 'big yellow taxis' have replaced out BIg Black Hackneys!!!! I hoped to get a glimpse of Brad, but nooooooo..... alas not. A friend works in the City Chambers and, because that is a government building, has been able to watch lots of the filming. Will try to post it on FB for you. It's a zombie movie and, well they came to the right city, especially after the pubs close .....

You're all a wee bittie silent just now my lovelies, how be you all???? Nettie requires answers ...

Much love xxxxxxNetsxxxxxxx

cloudhowe

Oh

My cliam to fame about watching filming! I used to supply trinity College Dublin with their library barcode software and I was over there when the film "Michael Collins" was being filmed ith the beautiful Liam Neeson in the title role. They used Trinity (built by Elizabeth 1st to convert the heathen Catholics to Protestantism - that worked!) as the Dail (Irish Parliamentary building. Saw the filming but no glimpse of the devine Liam then either. Sigh ....

1Cathi

Nettie- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Ladies my heart is a bit lighter this evening, my phone rang earlier today it was DD wanting to talk about us seeing Landen 7 Ella, apparently Ella had a melt down in Daycare Tuesday,  cried and carried on for over an hour calling ME-MA, she has never done that and daycare was concerned and called them both and case worker. 

Anyway DD's suggestion was we have them 2 nights a week over night and every other weekend from Friday-Monday AM when we would take them to daycare. Ed wasn't home at the time so told her I would get back to here,  then I e-mailed the child advocate place we are talking with,  they suggested that schedule was NOT WISE,  that left us with a HUGE PORTION of responsibility and no legal recourse,  suggest perhaps mom & dad looking for an easy out ,  and it sure does.  So we decided that we will pick them up from daycare tomorrow take them home by 7:30PM,  next week we will start doing that every Wednesday.  Every other week will will have an over night on Sunday and everyother week on Saturday will have them from 10AM-6PM. For now it is a good plan I think, get to see them ,  my heart was breaking twondering when we would see them again,  and with that schedule mom & dad don't get a huge amount of free time to run around and do what ever where ever.  DD is the one who asked if we could bring them home because WITH ONLY ONE INCOME (she got fired) they don't have any money -  has the CHO-CHO begun again.

I don't even care, just so happy I get to see them.  Ran out and got stuff for spaghetti (Landens fav) and lots of fresh fruit -  YIPPIE.

md_mouse

Cathi - that is wonderful news.  I know you are on cloud 9.  Give them lots of hugs and kisses from their cyber family.  Good to know they will at least have a hot meal and a loving environment at least part of the time.  Hugs to both you and your wonderful hubby.  mouse

1Cathi

Thanks Mouse,  We are on cloud nine, Sunday we'll have all 4 here for B'bq and beach.  Super excited. 

Hey Nettie, just watched Liam in Unknown,  more of an Ed movie, but not bad. I kissed the TV screen for you- LOL

chrissyb

Good news Cathi!!!  Told you it would be taken care of........now breathe and be happy!   Enjoy the time you get with the munchkins!

Nettie, how's your brother doing?    Oh my, filming in Glasgow!!!  with Brad Pitt no less!!!!  WOW!!!!  Hope you get to catch a glimpse of him!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

lvtwoqlt

Great news Cathi. enjoy them when you have them. Have fun with all the grandchildren Sunday on the beach.

Sheila 

cloudhowe

Great news Cathi

It was only a matter of time before they started falling back on you. You might want to have a quick word about their FB spite (God they are simple!) Apparently getting a job "is quite easy" - Silly Billy. So Amanda should have no problem "providing for the family - a good feeling". Think before engaging mouth, or sending unformed thoughts out to the world!!!!!!

So glad that you have access to the babies!!!! You have to get the arrangement formalised though as you don't want them to use them again to hurt you - and them! You know they have no morals, ethics or consistancy. You are being used as a convenience for monetary purposes and to give them a social life. I think it is an outright disgrace that you have no rights enshrined in law. Laws are made by lawmakers, and laws can be changed/altered/amended/exponged. It is an evolving thing. otherwise we would still be stoning women to death, and bear baiting. So I KEEP REPEATING - contact local groups and your political representatives!!!!! People don't realise the power they have within their command.

Incidendally, no recent update on YOUR health, my dear. Are you in pain or is that under control?? And does the family know yet?

Yeah, Glasgow City Centre is Philadelphia, quite surreal!!. They are now filming at the Grangemouth Oil Refineries (Scotland is an oil producing country) for some scenes. i will try to send you some pics of Glasgow/Phillie.

Cathi - I do love Liam Neeson. He is such a gentleman, and he lost his beautiful wife natasha Remond to a freak skiiing accident and was heartbroken. The Redmond family is so unlucky, Lyyne died (BC) Corin died (cancer) and Natasha through a freak accident. They are a talented, ethical family and only Vanessa (mum) remains. Natasha donated her organs and 8 people are alive or their lives improved because of their morals. Sorry, I was really upset. Anyway GO Liam!!

Love and hugs to each and every one of you.

Oh Hugh (Shuggles) is ready to go back to work! Check up in (now) 8 months. He said it feels like a bad dream now. Thank God he was vigilant because of what happened to our bother and I, becaus his symptms were so minor. We seems to be navigating between hypochondria and vigilance!!!

Nets xxxxx

barbe1958

Cathi, I think mid week visits are good, but not overnights. That means you have to maintain bedding for them. An easy out for the idiots. Pretty soon you'll have them every weekend so the idiots can party. You'll be paying daycare which is probably due the day you take them in....you see where I'm going with this, right? If you don't take them on the weekends, that would keep at least one parent from going out and partying.

Stupid child to lose her job!!! God, what a bunch of losers!

1Cathi

Your points are all well founded exactly why the child advocate said to limit visits for now,  daycare is 2 weeks behind again, however we are obligated to pay NOTHING and we will not,  I will feed them & love them while they are here and thats where my responsibility ends at this point.  Nettie we are fighting hard to get the SYSTEM/LAWS to work for Landen & Ella,  such a tragedy the system works as it does,  in a way I am glad to be driving them home,  thinking perhaps might get a glimpse inside the apartment, although I expect to maybe b e met at the door and not allowed in. 

The child Avocate agency that we are speaking with  are very nice, but honestly not putting my faith/trust in anyone 100% anymore, I have been researching the CIVIL RIGHTS LAWS for children etc, etc.  We are back to having to play it Cool,  Nettie their posts are completely insane, I would LOVE to call them out, but at this point not the right thing to do I am sure it would backfire on me. It is such a ghard spot to be in  -That rock and hard place thing,  We want only the best for Landen & Ella,  I hate seeing them in dirty cloths, hearing their lunches are filled with crap etc, etc, but I know that just gives DD & SIL their outs  for us to jump in and save the day. 

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH - DUMB ASSSES

barbe1958

You're doing GREAT sweetie!!! Keep hanging....!

1Cathi

I will Barbe it's tuff thiugh sometimes.

Nettie health question, honestly kinda on the back burner, not that I am not taking care of myself, but tests and  all that are not a priority (onco not happy with that - but he knows the deal) pain for the most part I control although the last 2 days the NERVE SENSATIONS have been pretty intense, but I manage and thats all that matters,  don't really talk about it much,  Ed understands I had to make a choice my choice right now is Landen & Ella, and even though sometimes I loose faith in God I really do believe he will KEEP ME to do what I need to do for them.

Anonymous

Cathi, it is really hard to hold your ground (and your tongue) on the tough love.  You are doing a great job of it.  Know that Landen and Ella are much better off for all that you are doing for them, and not doing as you hold their parents responsible for the things they are responsible to provide. 

Gentle hugs, love and prayers coming your way.

1Cathi

NOTHING BETTER THAN CHILDREN SEEING YOU RUNNING TO YOU SMILING AND SAYING ME-MA , PA-PA  AND HUGGING AT YOUR LEGS

thegoodfight

I love it.  Thanks for sharing your joyous moment with us.   I am sure everyone who reads it will smile big................I did

Anonymous

chrissyb

Yay Cathi!!!!!   Hang in there girl!!!   All good thing comes to those who wait and you have waited long.  The good thing aka the running hugs from two pairs of little arms and the smiles from two little faces make up for all the worry.  Enjoy each and every one of them.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

lvtwoqlt

Cathi, I wish I could 'like' that post (like on FB). glad they got to see you.

NancyD

Happy Day! I hope you had a great evening.

md_mouse

Cathi - I could "hear" your joy in seeing the kiddos.  Charish the time and enjoy them.  Hugs mouse

Anonymous

Hey mouse, are you battened down for the storm?