I can't get my act together and I don't know why

wishiwere

And the worst of is?  You didn't share with us   bad girl!

Maybe I'll have a big ol bowl of ice cream and just join you, so you don't have any tingling of guilt, k?

Harley44

I am also doing laundry today.  This doesn't count, because we always need clean clothes to wear, right?   In between washing clothes, I have been watching Mystery Diagnosis.  I love that show!

We went out to dinner last night with some friends, and they came over to our house to watch football after... the Pittsburgh Steelers...YECK!  Anyway, the house was a mess and I don't care....

Harley 

EWB

Go Steelers

Anonymous

I did a load of laundry, but I know that can't count against me because I needed to do more clothes, plus sheets and towels. I guess I'll leave the bedding til I run out of clean sheets.

I did break down and mop the kitchen... it was dirty!

My lower back starts hurting very quickly whenever I'm on my feet. I'm hoping my muscles are just weak from so much inactivity. I can't help worrying about it being something worse....

Harley, you go with the company... it's about time we get brave enough to 'out' ourselves! LOL

Miss S

althea

I've had a recent reminder of how much just a little bit of drama drains me to the core.  My brother visited this week, and even though he stays at my mom's house, extra time with my family is draining for me.  Well, my little bit of reserve got drained before he even arrived when my very good friend, who is sharing her home with a teen from a troubled family at church, was feeling threatened by the girl's parents.  So they came to my house.  I wasn't home when they arrived and my friend knows where I hide the extra key. 

Imagine my surprise while I'm gorging myself on homemade ice cream at the neighbors when their phone rings and it's for me, and it's my friend calling me from my kitchen.  I had just finished my third helping of ice cream, so I went home.  My friend is calling her pastor and she's telling the pastor and everyone else she talked to that night that she's in a 'safehouse'.  Good grief.  A safe house and being in a safe place, to me, are wildly different things.  So they stay Saturday and on Sunday they return briefly to my friend's house to get the dog, the teenager's cell phone and misc. 

All the ruckus started weeks ago when the teenager, who is recovering from a concussion and longstanding stress-related conditions, asked for a time of no contact from her parents.  They didn't cooperate.  Contact continued until there was a meltdown over back to school shopping for clothes.  My friend and teenager fled to my house Saturday.  On Sunday the teenager listened to her voicemail and there was a very nasty, hurtful voicemail from the mother.  It was devastating to the teenager.  It sucked her energy dry, and frankly, it sucked my energy too, and I don't even know these parents.  

Thankfully, my unexpected houseguests stayed just 3 nights.  Even though I didn't know the parents, my gut instincts told me this had more to do with my friend's trauma from her own past than it did the teenager's exposure to current risk.  I hate to second guess someone else's need for safety, but my own instincts didn't feel any danger whatsoever.  I felt like there is a feeding from drama going on here, and I don't have any need for drama.  In fact, had their need for a safe place continued, I was going to insist that the drama be checked at the door or they'd have to find another 'safehouse.'  

Fortunately, they made their own decision to go back home.  On Tuesday, my peaceful home was my own once again.  I offered to barbeque hamburgers for my mom and brother, but we opted to eat out.  Thank goodness we did!  MORE drama happened right across the street while we ate dinner!  Just across the street my neighbor got busted big time for drugs and money laundering.  He had nearly a million dollars of cocaine in his house!   Apparently there were drug dogs, cops all over the place, undercover agents.  It was the top story on the news.  I've lived near drug houses before, and I know what to look for.  I guess upper echelon drug dealers aren't so obvious!  This news completely surprised me.  It's pretty tame on my street, or so I thought.  This sure bursts my bubble!  It's good enough reason for me to take it easy and not vacuum for another day.

Hanna60978

.

Harley44

Miss S.- Thanks!  I knew that everyone here would understand!

Althea -  I befriended a girl, a co worker at one of the places where I used to work.  Every day, there seemed to be a new crisis going on in her life.  I finally had to stop trying to help her, because it was just so exhausting trying to be her friend.  BTW, she was addicted to pain (headache/migraine?)  medications, and would go from dr. to dr. to get prescriptions for them. 

Hanna

that is too funny!  I only ride a motorcycle as a passenger...  I'm glad you didn't refer to my recent experience with my D & C, and Dr. Do Little!  lol

Harley 

wishiwere

Oh ladies!  After cleaning last week for all the company and such, my house is a total disaster again!  Dd has found a place to rent, and I'm almost finished sitting her tomcat, but the 2 year old blonde lab is still here as well as my two kitties and between, in and outs of everyone moving her stuff and all teh company, the floors are back to junk, the tops of everything dusty and messy, and the dishes are stacked (well most are washed, but still in the d/w) laundry from everyone's towels and sheets....Oh my!  I'll be months getting it all cleaned up again!  

But I've got an over abundance of maters, and cucs, and onions and green peppers?  Anyone for a stir fry?  Pumpkins are starting to turn orange too!

althea

Drama invaded my life again today, and it has me so mad I'm driven to vacuuming!  I just pulled the couch away from the wall and vacuumed behind it. 

I had a message from my friend who was my unexpected houseguest last week.  (recap:  she and a troubled teen from her church felt afraid of the teen's father and came here to seek safety.  The troubled teen is 18, entering her senior year of high school, and she's been living with my friend since April.  Stress levels are high, and teen asked for a period of no contact for a few weeks in August.  Parents didn't cooperate,  friend felt unsafe, hence my unexpected houseguests)

Friend called to give an update on the teen's first day back at school.  Friend CALLED the teen's parents to let them know teen was in school as scheduled.  I've known this woman for years, love her dearly, but for the first time, I'm feeling so pissed at her.  I see very mixed signals here.  Within the span of a week she flees her own house for fear of these parents, and on the first day of school she calls them to let them know teen is in school???? WTF?? 

In my book, no contact means no contact.  Additionally, it's completely incongruous to be seeking safety one week and chatting up the parents the next.   Just one dose of drama two sundays ago drained me completely.  My fatigue came back with a vengenance in July and I'm just now coming around again.  I can rally to an occasion if there's an emergency, but now I'm feeling like there wasn't really an emergency to begin with, and it pisses me off to have so much siphoned from my precious little fuel tank only to have more drama again this week.  

I asked friend to come here after she gets off work and I'm giving her a big dose of my opinion on this whole dramafest.   

Hanna60978

.

althea

Thanks for your feedback hanna.  I felt a need to talk to my friend because in all the years I've known and in spite of how very different we are from each other, I've never reacted to any of her choices with anger before.  I didn't want the anger to be pent up and unexpressed.  We ended up talking by phone, and I told her I had very strong opinions about her choice to contact the parents. 

I said she's sending wildly mixed signals by calling the very people who sent her fleeing her own home just last week.  I asked her was it really an emergency last week or not?  She insists that it was.  She just felt a pang as she took the teen to her first day of school and had a moment of weakness, thinking the teen's mother must be wondering about her daughter's welfare.  Well, if those parents weren't such abusive sob's, that would be a legitimate thing to wonder.  But they're not warm and caring parents.  That's why their daughter is still in high school at age 18 and not living in her parents' home!  I do feel for the teenager.  I have mom issues of my own, but I've never experienced a feeling that I wasn't wanted or loved or supported.  I admit it's hard to imagine such a heartbreaking scenario, but I still berated my friend for calling those stonehearted parents.  

My relationship with my friend is a good one.  She listened to what I had to say and agreed with me.  She didn't get defensive at my anger, and I didn't think she would.  I felt confident I could express myself and be heard.  My anger is gone now and it resolved in a healthy way.  So it helped a lot to have a talk with my friend.  One of the benefits of my failed marriage was my ability to find good friends and BE a better friend than I ever was before.  

Oh, and I vacuumed my living room, including underneath the furniture.  I repaired a blind that wouldn't open anymore and cleaned the window.  I've heard for ages that old newspapers are good for cleaning windows.  It just didn't seem plausible to me, but I tried it and it really does work.  Then I used newspapers and windex to clean my front door too. Today I'm not so chipper, but it was worth it.   

Hanna60978

.

sueper13

Hello all,

Just popping in to say I am dog. ass. tired.  From working this week, and taking Tuesday and Wednesday off, to fly to Pittsburgh to get my dogs back home.  They are so glad to be home and to have a place to run again off their leashes. I am glad to have them back, although I know my son will miss them he has made the best choice for the dogs. 

Althea, it sounds like you handled the situation perfectly.  I wrote a long post to you earlier in the week about this issue and then lost it somehow.  

Does anybody know how long after chemo it takes to get your energy back?  I start rads on Wednesday and I am still wiped out, exhausted from chemo!!

Hanna, love your posts and you have such a way with words.

Wish, send me some of those nice clean veggies! I am about to break the bank buying organic food!

More tomorrow, need a recliner nap!

Sue 

wishiwere

Hm...if there's a way to do, I'll send you some.  Anyone have any idea how to ship fresh veggies and have them get there without looking like soup?  I've got plenty with dh on the road all the time!  Sent another 2 quarts of cherry toms with him the other day.

I did call the soup kitchen today to ask if they wanted some, someone is supposed to call me back. HA!  Like we've not heard that one before!  Wish we had a homeless shelter, I know there be someone there that would appreciate them

sueper13

Girls, I need a special dispensation to clean.  There is a wonderful couple we know who brought us dinner right after my surgery.  I used to work with the guy, Bill, and I really like his wife, Charlotte.  He came to the hospital when I had my mast and sat with my husband.  He felt that even though my aunt and my husband's sister were there, that my husband needed a "guy" to talk to.  Anyway, when they called and asked if they could bring us dinner, we told them we could only accept if they would stay and eat it with us. Well, it's time for me to start giving back.  Nobody is sick, they are just in and out of town a lot, and they are 'in" this weekend, and we are inviting them over for dinner.  So, I need to clean the whole house at the same time.  Any objections?

Hoping to get my act a little together, just for the weekend,

Sue

P.S.  If I am allowed to clean, I promise to be extra messy next week. 

Anonymous

Sue, I think it would be okay to clean most of the house, but I think you should leave at least one room dirty and just keep the door shut.

Whaddaya think?

Miss S

sueper13

MissS,

Okay, I can live with that.  Do I get to choose the room?

Sue 

Anonymous

Of course.

EWB

wishiwere--

I am so surprised that the soup kitchen isn't jumping at the chance to get fresh veggies. Before bc I ran a food pantry for nine years and our answer was always YES.  What state are you in?  In NJ there is a group called First Call for Help which has lists of all kinds of programs from government, to non profit to support groups all kinds of stuff.  I used them all the time to find things for my clients (and occasionally for me).  Maybe there is something similar where you are.  There are so many grassroots programs out there,  I'm sure they would love fresh produce.

Elaine

SherriM

Can I have some of that dispensation, too?  Ds is coming Wed.  I promise to leave a room a mess, too, and I know just which one it'll be.....Actually, I'll even leave the door open--the cat box is in there!

wishiwere

Elaine, that's what I thought too.  The potters house is the local soup kitchen. I should call some churches maybe.  I called the salvation army, thinking perhaps they knew of someone (or group) that could use them.  I can't believe there is no where to do this!  Nutty, seeing as how our county is one in the double digit joblosses. Just crazy!

Anonymous

Since gsg seems to be absent, I'll go ahead and grant you cleaning privelidges, as well, Sherri. :-) Of course, staying with the one messy room minimum is a must.

Wish, I wish you were near me.... I'd love to be cooking up a huge pot of veggie soup! YUM!

Miss S

wishiwere

I wishuwere too, MissS, but I have a feeling we'd be cooking up more than a pot of soup!   There's a life in this town, I've just not had a friend that interested in shaking up this podunk!  What a riot to have some of the ladies up for soup and to paint the town a fuscia!

Harley44

Hey there ladies,

gsg,

I miss you!  But, I guess you are out having fun, since you don't have to work for awhile.  Have fun!!

Sorry, but I have been cleaning the bathroom... Shirley said that doesn't count, since we have to have a clean bathroom, so I guess it is ok.

Wish, I weeded for about 1 1/2 hours today, but it is just too dang hot!!  I was feeling kind of weak, so I went inside and took a shower.  I was so dirty!!  That is what gave me the bright idea that maybe the bathroom needed to be cleaned...  I dragged all that dirt and mud into the house, and into the shower!

I wish we all lived close by each other, so we could get together.  I think it would be a hoot!

Harley

wishiwere

Me too!    Closer would be better

gsg

Hi, Girls:  I haven't read any of the latest posts yet...so much to catch up on.  I did see a couple things about laundry.  Doing laundry will not get you banished from this thread unless you do something like iron your sheets.  If that happens, you....are........out! 

Harley:  I am technically off work...but have still been working helping out on some other projects and that's why I haven't been around much.   I've missed you too.

 Thanks to all who have stepped up to the dirty plate and taken over my duties here  while I've been working.

I'm thinking about shredding some of the stuff on my dining room table today....but so far it hasn't passed the thinking stage.   I thought about it Saturday and Sunday too.

wishiwere

Hm...you HAD to bring up the shredder huh?  I've got a roll-top, dh has been shoveling full of stuff since my dx when family/friends stop by, so guess who's job it is to go through it all?  Bills, notes, payments, junk mail, mags, you know the junk that accumulates. 

I'm think a LARGE leaf/yard bag, open the top enough to get an arm in and start the avalanche into it, thus causing to not have to sort through it, lest there be something there I THINK we need to keep and just burning the entire thing in the fire pit!  I bet even the bag would burn, as it's one of those biodegradable types.  I could build a small bon-fire...tepee style and just let her rip!   Hmmmmm..thanks for the push Patrice, maybe I WILL get that fire (filing) done yet!

gsg

A bon-fire sounds like a great idea, Wish.  I'll bring the marshmallows!  I've made the decision that I'm going to remove the stack of Blue Cross/Blue Shield stuff from the table and then just shred everything else without even looking at it.  If I haven't needed it in 2 years, I don't need it.

wishiwere

Well, this stack is only since Dx last fall.  HE was in charge of that stuff over the winter and everytime someone was coming for one of tx or to visit, he'd tuck it in the roll-top and close the top!  OMG! I can barely get it open!  I'll bet there is a lot more than paper in there, but you know what? It's going! If he can't/won't take care of it, I will.  It's like a garage...stuff it and close the door! Uh uh!  Not in my desk!  So, I'll clean it out...just not today.  It's beautiful out and I'm going out to the patio after I finish mowing and reading today.  I'll save the desk for wed as it's supposed to be raining by then!  I don't clean on nice days, only when I'm stuck inside! LOL

kes

Hi Ladies,

Have to get caught up on this thread later. Sue,  glad to hear that all of your scans were clear. Congrats, that must feel great!

Hanna, You missed your calling in life. You should have been a lawyer. All the research you put into the radar system. Good for you. But now you are a marked women in town. Be VERY careful.

Wish, Sounds like you have been doing too much stuff lately. Please take a BREAK. I would have loved to have seen the 69 Mustang convertable. I love old cars. I had a 75 Road Runner when I was 19-20 years old. I LOVED that car. My Dad helped me buy it. He LOVED it too. Sounds like if you and I knew each other in our younger years we would have gotten in a LOT of trouble together. That is all I will say about that one. LOL LOL LOL

Shirley,  Your driving stories are too much. Please be careful.

Back from Maine, loved it, ate too much Ben and Jerry's. Started out with 1 scoop waffle cones and then decided that 1 scoop was just not enough so we went up to 2 scoops on a waffle cone EVERY SINGLE DAY. I just love Ben and Jerry's. Spent a ton of money at L.L. Bean. But I loved that also. What a shopping mecca that store is. So now I have to unpack and do Laundry.  Back to school tomorrow.  Hanna, don't worry about your son's back to school hair cut, my DD will be lucky if she gets a back to school shower done today, I forgot about the hair cut. Oh well, she wanted to let her bangs grow out, GOOD THING.

Take Care All,

Kerry