Seventeen years with stage 4 today

Kathy36
Kathy36 Posts: 85
edited June 2014 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Hi everybody--

 Kathy Rich here, and I'm alive. I feel like throwing open the window and shouting that to the world, because as of today, I've stayed alive for seventeen years with stage four breast cancer--fifteen years past my predicted expiration date. But I can't do that--bellow this into the night--because I'm up in Boston teaching, and it's a staid town, and I'd probably get put away. Therefore, I'm coming on here to shout: "I. Am. ALIVE." I am. And most unexpectedly--this is the last thing my doctors or anyone thought would happen back when, and I think it's important for people on here to know that--that people do live with this stuff, and well. My cancer's still active, I'm not NED, but we keep whacking it with new treatment and then it snarls and lies down. I work. I have a full-range life. For sure, there've been tough times--spikes in tumor markers that nearly did me in with fear; three pulmonary embolisms from cancer that landed me in intensive care; bouts with that terrible blackness we all know.  It's not news to anyone on here that this life can be tough. But there can be joy in it too, and that's so important to remember. This disease does not invalidate us. This past year, I've had the joy of falling in love with my sister's kids, who live states away and whom I hadn't had the chance to know. I've had a book come out that I worked on for eight years, about going to live in India with stage four cancer. I've had so many moments of joy, but when I'm in blackness, I forget about them. So I guess I wanted to say, to anyone who's in despair or scared or bone-tired (and also, as a reminder to myself):  remember, there's still joy and unexpected turns up ahead. You can be okay in ways you never expected. 

I"d love it if people would post in return--shout, as it were, about where you've managed to find joy in the past year.  I'd also like to propose that just for this one day, we do something defiant and let ourselves hope. That we let joy and hope in, no matter what. To hell with cancer, at least for one day. 

Much love to everyone, 

Kathy 

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Comments

  • nowords
    nowords Posts: 423
    edited January 2010

    Congrats to you!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2010

    OMG... You know what? The first thing I'll do when I wake up in the morning is to show my wife this post. Incredible and inspiring. Thanks for sharing. And may you live many more years.

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  • apple
    apple Posts: 7,799
    edited January 2010

    what joy you exude.

    thanks and congratulations.. go ahead and shout - even in Boston

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  • chasinghope
    chasinghope Posts: 126
    edited October 2010
    Thank you for posting, your story is amazing, you give  lot of people hope. Hope is needed right now, everywhere. Thank you again, I hope you occassionally let everyone know how you are doing. I'm wishing you 60 + more years!!!!
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  • Moissy
    Moissy Posts: 550
    edited January 2010

    Kathy - You are beautiful inside and out! Congratulations and thanks for the shout out!!!!!  I found joy this year in cooking with my four-year-old niece right alongside my 80-year-old aunts. Thanks for reminding me to remember and cherish those days. Happy teaching!!!!

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  • ailenroc
    ailenroc Posts: 308
    edited January 2010

    Congratulations Kathy. That is truly a shoutable achievement. I am happy for you and thankful for the inspiration. It is good to know that this is possible too. Very big congrats on your indomitable spirit and the ability to find the positive and the possible in and after all of it. Did you go to India? I am always phantasizing to take 2 years off (from teaching) and could use a little inspiration in that regard to.

    C

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  • lexislove
    lexislove Posts: 2,645
    edited January 2010

    Kathy,

    Wow....just wow! Congrats and to 17 more!!!!!

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  • Fidelia
    Fidelia Posts: 397
    edited January 2010

    Dear Kathy,

    THANKYOU!!! for living and for sharing that with everyone here. It is amazing and wonderful to have someone tell us that survival doesn't have to be perfect but that it is more than possible - it is a fact - care to share about the book? 8 years is a lot of life in a book - really interested to know more and great that you have done so much and as everyone has said - here's hoping for another shout in about 60 years or so!!!!

    Fidelia

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Posts: 1,431
    edited January 2010

    WooooHoooo,,congratsssssssssss!!!..

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  • musicalmaven
    musicalmaven Posts: 10
    edited January 2010

    Wonderful, what an encouragement you are! I was diagnosed with Stage III in 2009 and tugged on my spiritual estate to really pull me through. I've also gained strength from being an encouragement to others, as you are here. I've found that when I concentrate on helping other people (I'm working with an elderly friend to save her house, I try to educate minority women about breast cancer, and I always try to be upbeat with everyone) I don't have time to remember or even think about my cancer. As one good friend of mine, with breast cancer said, "I refuse to let cancer become my religion!" I've adopted this mantra too! Cudos to you Kathy36!!

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  • 5andcounting
    5andcounting Posts: 232
    edited January 2010

    Kathy,

    What a beautiful and kind woman to post that here. You know better than all of us how important it is to hear this!  Just being diagnosed in November 09, I've found God has moved me to a point in my life that I might never have reached otherwise. Maybe not even when I was 70 or 80 (I'm 43 now)  Don't get me wrong, I'd trade this new found wisdom to never know this particular type of hell but I no longer take things for granted. Children, friends, food, sunsets, HAIR, lol,  everything.

    Love and congratulations to you and many many more wonderful years to come. Some "healthy" people stay technically alive and moping around for decades, few of us find courage to live our lives out loud.

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  • RobinWendy
    RobinWendy Posts: 1,983
    edited January 2010

    Kathy, I look forward to your posts in January every year.  So happy you are around to report your 17th cancerversary.  I am six years in, not in remission or NED but doing well.  During the last six years, I have had much joy.

    I got to see my daughter graduate from both high school and college and now living and working in NYC... almost like an adult.  I started my own law practice (but limit it to have time for onc appts., scans, etc...), travel and become closer to my two lovely stepchildren.  I have also reconnected with my first cousins on my mom's side who were ripped out of my life when I was ten after their father died and the mother raised them down south in the spirit of hating my family. That has been tried and has failed since 1992 and finally, in 2007, another try finally clicked.  They are a joy in my life in their own right and as a link to my dearly loved deceased uncle.

    I could go on but I think I've made your point... there are joys in life that are out there to be experienced even with active Stage IV.  

    Thanks so much for allowing us to enjoy your good health and all the hope you bring to others.  Can't wait to see next year's post!

    Robin 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2010

    Hey Gal, YOU ROCK! I am so very proud of you! Blessings, Blessings,Blessings. Live out loud and celebrate YOU this new decade! I am finding my peace walking the beaches at low tide and looking for sea glass. GREAT way to meditate and get quiet with the beautiful world we live in. XXXOOO,

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  • BMac
    BMac Posts: 650
    edited January 2010

    Woo Hoo!!!  You are amazing and embody all that is good about the human spirit.  Having had both ovarian and breast cancer (both stage III...I seem to like that number) I have my black moments.  My ovarian onc just sent me for a CT last night because of some symptoms I've been having so I'm holding my breath til I see her again on Tuesday.  Probably nothing but you know how that feels.

    Congratulations to you.

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  • dawn16
    dawn16 Posts: 281
    edited January 2010

    YES!!!!!Congrats to you!! Thank you,  I've adopted a new attitude.  To H@** with cancer,  I'll do what I have to do to fight it, but it's not taking my life away while I'm here.  You know what,  I feel so much better and more empowered just saying it.  I'm going to enjoy my good days, Thank God for my blessings, my children, my husband and Live life to the fullest.  Thank you Cathy for posting today.  You are one amazing woman!!! 

    Dawn

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  • dawn16
    dawn16 Posts: 281
    edited January 2010

    YES!!!!!Congrats to you!! Thank you,  I've adopted a new attitude.  To H@** with cancer,  I'll do what I have to do to fight it, but it's not taking my life away while I'm here.  You know what,  I feel so much better and more empowered just saying it.  I'm going to enjoy my good days, Thank God for my blessings, my children, my husband and Live life to the fullest.  Thank you Cathy for posting today.  You are one amazing woman!!! 

    Dawn

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  • pitanga
    pitanga Posts: 596
    edited January 2010

    Dear Kathy,

    I´m shouting back at you with all my might, from 13 degrees below the equator. Thank you so much for your post! It really made my day. You are truly an inspiration!

    As for moments of joy this year--well, 2009 was the year of my stage 4 diagnosis and I´m still trying to regroup. There only time I think I managed to block it out was during Carnival. I received the results of the MRI suggesting metastasis on the afternoon of the day Carnival began. I was devastated, first because of the implications of the diagnosis and second because I look forward to Carnival the entire year. I love being part of the joyous collective delirium. I asked myself: "Am I strong enough to put this crap out of my head and enjoy myself anyway?" I wasn't sure I was, but I headed home and spent the rest of the afternoon working on my costume. When I finished, I took to the streets. Carnival is a six day event here, and I managed to enjoy every minute of it. When Ash Wednesday finally came, real life resumed and I had an appointment with my oncologist. My feet were a mass of blisters from so much dancing and there were still flecks of glitter on my skin.

    I´d love to know more about your book and how you dealt with treatment while you were in India. This year I turned down an offer to go to Nigeria for a semester, to do research in the archives there. I was concerned about how I´d manage treatment, since drugs like zometa and arimidex could be hard to find there and even if I could get them, I´d have to pay up front and wait for reimbursement from insurance.

    Many wishes for your continued success and good health,

    Lisa 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2010

      Kathy,  Congratulations!  I have been Stage lV for 12 years, but you give me hope that I have even more ahead of me. I have always thought of myself as living with cancer rather than dying from it.  We don't always get what we want out of life, but we have to make the most of what we have.  What is the name of your book?   Marybe

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  • meima-Bev
    meima-Bev Posts: 2,432
    edited January 2010

    Kathy,  Thank You so much for your inspiring words and the hope they bring.  There have been and still continue to be many losses of our dear sisters which is so devastating.  What a joy it is to hear some really good news.  God bless you and thank you again!    Meima

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  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Posts: 3,255
    edited January 2010

    Woooo hooooo

    Happy dance

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  • Gabrielle
    Gabrielle Posts: 73
    edited January 2010

    Wow, wow, wow!!!  Kathy, that is amazing and wonderful!!!  Congratulations to you, too, Marbe.  I love your attitude and am humbled by your inner strength.  Keep it going! 

     -Gabrielle

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  • steeny107
    steeny107 Posts: 85
    edited January 2010

    Thank you so much for sharing, I have a 7 year old son and want so much to get him to be an adult.

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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Posts: 7,969
    edited January 2010

    Kathy,

    I too look forward to your posts every year. You greatest gift that you can give us is HOPE for a lifetime.

    I am 5 years into my cancer journey, almost 2 years with mets. You are so right, there is blackness, but there is also so much light in life.

    I went on several wonderful vacations last year with my family. Camping in the beautiful upper Pennisula of Michigan, Houseboat trip in KY, a trip NYC, and a celebrated a 10 year anniversary of our annual sibling-cousin family vacation. It was the best.Smile

    I have worked FT through it all. Not sure if I will keep that up. I do know that I will be doing something. I refuse to live in cancerland. Tongue out

    To LIfe!

    Janis

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  • dmacw
    dmacw Posts: 886
    edited January 2010

    OMG, congrats and many, many more!!!!

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  • jan125
    jan125 Posts: 411
    edited January 2010

    congrats!!!!!! HERE'S TO HOPE! I'll be looking for your posts for years to come,

    Best Wishes,

    Jan

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Posts: 3,562
    edited January 2010

    Your post is so encouraging for us on so many levels and at every Stage! It sounds like you've made the best of your situation...and I mean really the BEST. I only hope that I can post in 17 years (well, 15 now since dx) and say I'm living my life so completely.

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  • vivre
    vivre Posts: 2,167
    edited January 2010

    Congratulations! You are an inspiration to us all. We can tame the beast and attitude is everything! Your book sounds fascinating. Did you eat lots of tumeric in India? Can't wait to read it.

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  • Padiddle
    Padiddle Posts: 853
    edited January 2010

    Kathy:  Thank you for that post!  My onc was just telling me that he has seen some stage IV patients for 17 years!  You are blessed and have blessed many who will read your post!  Woop, woop!

     Jean

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Posts: 3,529
    edited January 2010

    Adding my congratulations! I cried when I read your post. So inspiring.

    Heres to 17 more!! (Hell, here's to 70 more!)

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  • clemson93
    clemson93 Posts: 575
    edited January 2010

    Kathy,

    You are an angel!!!!  I sooooo needed to read a post just like yours.  I had the worst day yesterday filled with fear and consumed with cancer.  I woke up to read your post and thank you for sharing your wonderful news and inspiration.  Congrats on 17 years and wishing you and all of the sisters on this forum many more.

    Susan

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